Chapter 40: Praise and Punishment

Eirene had accepted Clive’s invitation to explore the forest near Dervel Palace. She expected a light stroll, but horses appeared instead. Since even walking to the palace’s main gate would be difficult, riding horses to the forest made sense. 

However, Eirene worried she might get motion sickness on horseback, remembering how she had felt ill during her first carriage ride.

“We’re taking horses because carriages can’t enter the forest. Will you be alright?”

“Yes. That sounds good.”

She didn’t want to postpone something she would eventually have to do anyway. When a small stepladder was placed beside the horse, she took a deep breath and climbed up.

“Hold the reins. Put your foot here and climb up.”

She told him she wanted to try by herself, gripping the reins firmly and placing her foot in the stirrup. Thanks to the well-behaved horse, she mounted without difficulty and sat sideways. 

Her dress made it awkward to move her legs, and while she was wondering what to do, Clive told her she could stay as she was. He promptly mounted behind her and took the reins. 

With nothing left to hold onto, she wasn’t sure where to place her hands.

“What should I hold onto?”

“You can hold onto me.”

“Where exactly?”

“My waist.”

She gripped both sides of his waist with her hands.

“You’ll fall if you hold on like that. You need to embrace me.”

Sitting almost face to face, she could only awkwardly embrace him. Clive started to say something, then smiled and whispered in her ear.

“We’re engaged lovers.”

At his words, she moved closer and embraced him, but strangely, she couldn’t press against him the way she had before. Clive, perhaps thinking this was good enough, simply asked if they could depart. As she nodded, the horse began moving forward. 

Though it was only walking slowly, not running, her body remained tense with nervousness.

“How does it feel?”

“A bit frightening.”

It was higher than she expected. She had heard of people dying after falling from galloping horses, but this height seemed dangerous even if she fell while the horse was standing still. 

She slightly regretted not refusing the forest invitation.

“Don’t look down. Look ahead. Lean on me more.”

She turned her head to look forward and tightened her grip on him. Her fingers would probably cramp if she kept holding on this way, but she had no choice if she wanted to avoid falling.

“Shall we pick up the pace?”

No sooner had Clive finished speaking than the horse began to trot. Honestly, it wasn’t fast enough to be called running, but to Eirene, experiencing it for the first time, it felt like full speed. 

Startled, she inhaled sharply and instinctively leaned against Clive’s chest, holding him tightly. With her eyes squeezed shut, she heard a brief laugh from above her head.

“Open your eyes. You’ll adjust quickly.”

Eirene gently opened her eyes. The pace was slow enough to fully appreciate the passing scenery. The forest ahead was densely packed with deep green trees, even in winter. It looked so thick that not even a handful of sunlight could penetrate. 

On the way to Dervel, she had only seen the forest from a distance across fields, but now they were entering it.

* * *

The forest interior, where horses couldn’t run, was different from how it appeared from outside. Tall trees stood everywhere, but sufficient sunlight filtered through to illuminate even the soil below. 

The birdsong they had heard since entering grew increasingly numerous and louder. Occasionally, when small birds flew overhead, Eirene watched them with fascination. The air was indeed different here. 

Colder than outside, but much fresher and more invigorating, clearing her mind. She released her grip on Clive’s waist and took a deep breath, savoring the scent of grass and trees.

“Shall we come out here often when the weather warms up?”

“Yes. I love this place.”

“When spring comes, there will be rare butterflies, but also many insects. Are you okay with bugs? Many women dislike them.”

“I don’t particularly like them, but they don’t repulse me. I lived with cockroaches and spiders in the basement.”

The horse suddenly stopped. When it wouldn’t move forward, Eirene looked up at Clive. With the sunlight behind him, she couldn’t see his face clearly. Following his silhouette outlined by the sparkling light, an indescribable emotion welled up in her chest. 

What was this feeling? 

Clive, silently gazing at her, looked beautiful. For some reason, this mountain of a man appeared that way to her. His white hair gently swaying in the light breeze, his ash-gray eyes staring intently at her. 

Had his lips always been this pretty? 

The lips she had experienced several times now looked distinctly different. Just as Eirene, embarrassed by her own thoughts, was about to look away, a soft sigh escaped those lips.

“You speak too casually about it. Living with cockroaches and spiders isn’t an easy thing.”

“What’s the big deal? Sometimes rats appeared too.”

“Rats?”

Clive’s sigh grew deeper, filled with disbelief.

“When you’re alone for days and days, too many to count on your fingers, even rats become welcome company.”

She had sometimes deliberately left bread crumbs, waiting for rats to come.

“I don’t enjoy talking much, but there’s a big difference between choosing not to speak and being unable to speak. You can’t imagine how comforting it is to have even a rat to talk to.”

“Count Phineas really…”

Clive swallowed the rest of his sentence. Though she couldn’t tell what he was going to say, it certainly wasn’t anything good, judging by the low curses she heard.

“It’s in the past. That’s why I can speak about it so easily.”

“You have a strong spirit.”

The horse began moving again. Only now did Eirene properly feel Clive’s body that she had been holding. It was covered with firm muscles without an ounce of fat. Though she knew he had a sturdy build, she hadn’t realized it was to this extent. 

His was clearly a body that trained relentlessly. He was neither the foolish Clive nor the Empire’s troublemaker that his nicknames suggested. His body was too disciplined and diligent for someone with such reputations. 

Suddenly, the realization that she was touching Clive made her face flush hot. Though it was an unavoidable situation and not the first time, she felt increasingly awkward looking at him. 

She deliberately kept her gaze forward, but her complicated feelings prevented her from enjoying the forest view comfortably like before. 

Hearing his breathing above her head, Eirene held her breath. Oh, this really was strange. 

Just as she was trying to regulate her breathing to shake off unnecessary thoughts, she heard men shouting from somewhere.

“The knights’ training ground is located here.”

Clive explained before Eirene could ask.

“Can we go see? If it won’t disturb their training.”

It took some time before he answered. He seemed reluctant, so she said they could see it another time, but he decided they might as well look since they were already there. 

A guard stood in front of the training ground, which was surrounded by high walls. Recognizing Clive, the guard immediately opened the gate. A wide dirt field spread before them. 

When the knights tried to greet the pair, Clive raised his hand to stop them, signaling them to continue. Most of the knights had removed their shirts. Despite the cool weather, their upper bodies glistened with sweat, showing how hard they had been training. 

Eirene found their dedication impressive and admirable. Though she made no sound, her mouth opened in awe.

“Seen enough?”

How could she have seen everything when they had just arrived? 

They hadn’t even dismounted yet. She wanted to greet everyone since they had entered, but before she could answer, Clive turned the horse around and left.

* * *

“Why are you giving me this?”

Eirene accepted the dagger Clive handed her. She had been resting after returning from the forest when he came to her, saying he had something to give her, and suddenly presented a dagger.

“For self-defense.”

“I’ve never handled a blade before.”

“I’ll teach you.”

“Do you think I can learn well?”

“Knowing even a little about handling one would be much better. You don’t need to be skilled.”

Eirene agreed with him. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? In some ways, developing her own skills might be better than relying on the divine power she received from God.

“I had this made a while ago. I looked for one with a dull blade and brought this one for now. Once you practice and get used to it, I’ll give you a new one. This one is meant for children anyway.”

“A dagger for children?”

“Yes. I had it for certain reasons.”

Clive smiled bitterly.

“Shall we try it now?”

He seemed to be avoiding the topic of the dagger. Eirene didn’t particularly want to ask about it either, so she agreed and drew the blade. It showed signs of long neglect. He explained that the dagger should be gripped from the inside, not directly, to apply force properly. 

He also told her that women who carry daggers for self-defense usually wear them on their thigh or ankle. He emphasized the need to practice drawing it as quickly as possible.

“The ankle would be better for quick drawing.”

She practiced drawing the dagger after lightly binding it with cloth. Though she expected her dress to make it difficult, it was surprisingly easy.

“You’ll learn quickly with practice.”

His reaction showed surprise. In fact, Eirene was a bit surprised herself.

“Wouldn’t I learn stabbing techniques quickly too?”

“Surely not. I’ve only just drawn the blade.”

“It’s difficult for beginners to be this fast, especially for a woman wearing those clothes.”

“Perhaps I’m naturally talented.”

“Born to dance, born to wield a dagger.”

That’s right. She had danced surprisingly well at the social gathering too.

“Maybe I’m good at many things, just lacking experience.”

“Are you good at horseback riding too?”

“I wonder.”

Eirene held the drawn dagger and thrust it in various directions through the air. Her movements were clumsy but unusual. 

They weren’t the motions of a novice, which made Clive look at her curiously. After watching for a while, he asked:

“Would you be interested in learning to use a longsword later?”

“Later. I should master this properly first.”

“Since you seem naturally talented, I want to see how far you can go. Now try to stab me. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t hold back. Do it with the intention to kill me.”

“That much?”

Clive smiled and put his hands behind his back. Eirene controlled her breathing, gripped the dagger, and swung it toward Clive. He stepped backward, dodging here and there, and though she couldn’t keep up with his speed, she was fast. 

Her eyes had changed, truly looking like she had decided to kill him. 

Swish. Swish. 

Only the sound of the blade cutting through air could be heard, occasionally mixed with Eirene’s rough breathing. As she approached while swinging the dagger, her speed increased, forcing Clive to back away faster. 

Eirene wouldn’t be able to inflict even the smallest wound on him. However, her skill clearly wasn’t that of someone who had just picked up a blade for the first time. Clive saw a wall behind him. 

Just before reaching it, he grabbed Eirene’s wrist holding the dagger and turned his body, switching their positions. Now Eirene stood between the wall and Clive. Her chest heaved, suggesting she was out of breath.

“You lost.”

Eirene smiled slightly and said:

“Thud.”

She curled her free hand and placed it against Clive’s chest, mimicking a stabbing motion. Though he had caught her wrist before she could touch him, if she had been holding a real dagger, he could have been wounded.

“Remarkable progress in such a short time. You even know how to look for openings.”

“You were careless.”

“How unfortunate. You still ended up caught by this careless man.”

Clive pinned both of Eirene’s wrists against the wall. When only one hand was restrained, there had been some distance between them, but as he grabbed both hands, they moved closer. 

His gaze, which had been fixed on her eyes, gradually lowered to rest on her lips.

“Should I punish you? Or should I praise you?”

How they had ended up like this was unclear, but a sensual atmosphere surrounded them. The air felt heavy, almost sticky. In the quiet room, the only sound was Eirene’s breathing. Clive had never known that a person’s breathing could be so stimulating. 

She was merely breathing, yet he felt aroused from head to toe. His face, which had been looking down at her, gradually lowered.

“Praise or punishment. Which will you choose? Though my answer would be the same either way.”