The Duke promised to refurbish the family home and instructed me to inform my brother that his wife would soon be heading there. The progress was to remain a secret, and I was not to ask for any reasons. He also warned me not to forget what happened to those who spoke too freely.

I was curious about why such a simple question from the madam led to this conclusion, but knowing that my sick brother could stay in a cleaner, better environment left me with no reason to worry.

However, today, for the first time, I felt guilty.

‘Emily, you mentioned your brother is sick, right? I’ll go and heal him. But could you let me stay at your family home? Just until I find a proper place. And please, don’t tell my husband. Okay?’

Caught off guard and unable to respond immediately, the young madam seemed ready to kneel if necessary.

Swept up in the moment, I replied, ‘…If you would do that, I would be incredibly grateful. I understand.’

Even if I wanted to keep it a secret, the Duke already knew that his wife would make such a request. He understood her intentions clearly.

***

“It’s raining quite heavily. The roads could be dangerous; how about we depart tomorrow?”

Jayden pretended to be considerate, but it was clear he disliked the idea of traveling in the rain.

“No, I need to leave as soon as possible.”

I shook my head firmly in refusal, and he shrugged, as if acknowledging his lack of influence, before opening the umbrella.

I didn’t particularly enjoy rainy days either, so I understood his reluctance. My earliest memory was of wandering the streets in tears during a downpour, and the day I nearly died before being rescued by Lady Lawrence was also marked by torrential rain.

Whenever we went out to find food and it rained, we would inevitably fall ill for three days with fevers. Until my magical powers fully manifested, I was just an ordinary child.

At the academy, staying in the dorms during rain was easier, but memories of hardship often resurfaced, leaving me feeling low.

I had disliked rain my entire life, but my feelings changed solely because of Leopold.

It was probably right after graduation.

That day, I was writing in my research journal in the private study. The sound of raindrops hitting the window broke my concentration, and I put down my pen, feeling slightly annoyed.

The curtains wouldn’t completely block the noise, so I approached the window, hoping to muffle it somewhat. Just as I reached out to draw the curtains, a dark silhouette suddenly appeared in the distance.

Despite the rain, there was someone wearing only a thin white tunic, riding a black horse that matched the color of his hair.

Startled, I covered my mouth with one hand and pressed my face against the window. The sky had turned pitch black, promising even more rain.

As if warming up, Leopold patted the horse a couple of times and circled the garden. Then, in an instant, he spurred it towards the west gate leading to the hunting grounds.

In my confusion, I didn’t think to call anyone and instead ran toward the garden where he had been, even though I knew I couldn’t catch him now that he had already vanished.

Just then, Peter, coming from the opposite direction, looked slightly puzzled and asked, ‘Healer, where are you rushing off to?’

‘Oh, just now, the Duke, despite all this rain, rode out on a horse! And he was wearing just a really thin piece of clothing!’

My rambling must have convinced him, as he nodded understandingly.

‘It’s a very old habit of the Duke. He quite enjoys rainy days. So there’s no need to worry.’

‘But still, he’ll catch a cold like that.’

‘Then you can treat him, can’t you? And actually…’

He hesitated, as if contemplating, before offering a faint smile.

“The Duke is so robust that he has never caught a cold, and he probably never will.”

Seeing people who never caught a cold wasn’t unusual for me, but getting soaked in a downpour was an entirely different experience.

However, with Peter, the trustworthy old butler of the Duke’s household, stating this, I found myself at a loss for words. I returned to my room, still grappling with unresolved questions. From that moment on, whenever it rained, I began to watch the outside world closely.

Peter was right; as long as he remained at the mansion, Leopold would invariably go out whenever it rained. And, of course, he never got sick.

How many times had I secretly observed Leopold like that?

One day, I felt a surge of curiosity. Not because I had to, but because I genuinely wanted to know what it felt like to choose to be in the rain.

So, for the first time in my life, I eagerly awaited a rainy day. But, as fate would have it, only bright, sunny days continued, leaving me anxious with anticipation.

I even prepared a thin summer dress just to mimic him, and I must have waited like that for a month. While writing in my research journal, the sunlit study gradually darkened with shadows.

Sensing that the moment had arrived, I changed my clothes and headed to the opposite garden, where his path would never cross mine, as he always ventured toward the woods.

The employees who saw me along the way gave me strange looks, but thanks to my status as a healer, I managed to use the excuse of “an experiment for research” to justify my actions.

The east garden felt more like a well-maintained field than a garden. The grass was always trimmed low, so laying down a cloth anywhere felt like a picnic. It reminded me of a similar lawn at the academy where I often sat with friends, chatting aimlessly, evoking nostalgia.

In the middle of the garden stood a massive poplar tree, exuding majesty. Before I could even reach it, I was drenched by the pouring rain.

What on earth was I doing?

Even though no one was watching, I felt embarrassed by my hair sticking to my face and the soaked dress clinging to me. Quickly regretting my decision, I wrung out my skirt with all my might.

The funny thing was that, even amidst all this, my curiosity was stronger than my pride. It took me a long time to realize that this curiosity stemmed from affection.

Even while seeking shelter under the tree, I couldn’t help but extend my arm. I focused on the sensation of cold droplets hitting my skin, trying to imagine what he felt.

The irregular rhythm of the raindrops tapping on my body soon created a melody with varying pitches.

Was this what he enjoyed? He never seemed like someone who appreciated music.

Unconsciously, I stepped out from under the tree, reflecting on Leopold’s feelings.

Did he feel joy or happiness when he was in the rain? Or did he simply enjoy a state of emptiness?

Though we lived in the same mansion, it was so vast that I rarely encountered him directly. I only occasionally spotted him from afar, and each time, I was reminded of the meaning of an expressionless face.

His gaze, directed nowhere, his eyes devoid of any desire, his lips carrying no intention.

The few emotions I could discern were all negative. His brow furrowed as if he were uncomfortable, or his eyes narrowed in dissatisfaction. Yet even those emotions were not clearly expressed.

Looking back now, perhaps that was why married life was more challenging. Those subtle emotions, he expressed them clearly only to me…

Anyway, I returned from that day’s exploration without much to show and wrote in my journal. I repeated the same actions for quite some time, and the records accumulated.

While my usual magical research became more objective and clear through journaling, my research on the Duke in the rain became increasingly ambiguous, like trying to distinctly separate the colors of a rainbow.

The more I tried to define his actions, the more I thought about him, and the more I thought about him, the more my research journal transformed into a novel.

By the time I realized that the content was about love, I had also come to appreciate the rain—probably for reasons entirely different from why Leopold liked it.

I felt excited when it rained in the morning. I paced near the window, waiting for the familiar silhouette to appear, even if only from afar…

I enjoyed the time spent waiting for him to return, shaking off his wet hair. It was the only moment I could catch a glimpse of a completely different side of him—one that appeared somewhat relieved, or perhaps satisfied…

“My lady, shall we get into the carriage now?”

Jayden opened the carriage door and extended his arm, pulling me out of my thoughts as I stared blankly at the rainy sky.

“…Leopold must be busy today.”

“He mentioned that the noble meeting might run long, so he asked me to see you off properly.”

“I see. Let’s go then.”

A bitter taste lingered in my mouth as I replied.

Even though he was kind on the surface, I had hoped he would come to see me off. At the very least, I expected we could exchange a proper farewell…

I felt disgusted with myself for being deceived each time and yet still harboring hope.

“We’re leaving now.”

The door closed, and the sound of hooves gradually quickened.

Did I really want a farewell like this? Leaving as if I were fleeing, without even a chance to say goodbye…?

If only I could wash away this weak heart in the rain.

Although this was a choice for a new beginning, tears threatened to fall, so I helplessly stared at my toes.

Now, I should learn to dislike the rain again.

—

T/N: My poor Hazel! 😭