I was an orphan, so naturally, I didn’t know my birthday. My friends from the academy felt sorry for me and suggested that we choose a birthday together. Since it was a day I had never experienced, it didn’t seem very significant, so I joked about it.

“Alright. Then I’ll make the day I first saw Leopold Lawrence my birthday. It felt like I was reborn the moment I saw him.”

Everyone laughed it off, calling me hopeless, and I laughed along with them. It was just a lighthearted joke.

But if I had known that every moment spent with him would bring pain, I wouldn’t have chosen a birthday, even as a joke.

“Leopold, there’s a gift I want from you.”

On my first birthday after the wedding, with a trembling heart, I approached Leopold’s study.

He was always busy, so I never intended to disturb him. I just wanted to let him know, thinking he probably wouldn’t remember my birthday, partly because I wanted his attention.

I gathered my courage and stood before my husband, but he kept his eyes fixed on his desk and asked indifferently.

“Is there something lacking in such a luxurious mansion?”

“It’s not that… It’s just, it’s my birthday…”

His hand, which had been flipping through papers, paused for a moment.

“Speak.”

Even in that brief word, there was a chill that made me hesitate before I finally found my voice.

“Um, this might sound strange.”

“……”

“Could you call my name warmly, just once?”

“Your name?”

He furrowed his brows in disbelief as he shifted his gaze to me.

“I’ve never properly heard it… I just wanted to hear it once.”

“That’s a ridiculous and embarrassing request. I’m busy, so don’t disturb me.”

And that was the end of it.

I barely managed to move my trembling legs as I left the study and headed straight to the garden.

I dismissed the maids who followed me and crouched under my favorite large oak tree, endlessly picking up the pieces of my shattered heart.

That day was probably the most emotionally overwhelming of my life.

Shame, embarrassment, sadness, resentment, humiliation, and what else…

Oh, yes.

Despair.

The kind of despair that made me realize we could never get closer, like parallel lines, unchanged forever.

I couldn’t tell if it was because I loved him too much or because he didn’t love me at all. The only thing I knew for sure was that no amount of effort on my part could change our relationship…

After that, I never asked him to call my name again, and I never heard my name spoken in his resonant voice, not even once.

“Hazel.”

Yet here he was, calling me again. So easily. At this point, I should say that God was not merciful but cruel.

“Still, it feels good. I’ve always wanted to hear my name in your voice. If I had known it would be like this, I should have died sooner.”

I murmured with a chuckle, and Leopold asked, puzzled.

“Why do you keep saying strange things? Like it’s a dream or that you’re dead.”

The unfamiliar kindness in his voice was almost pitiful, leaving me bewildered.

“Because it’s true. This place… it’s like the afterlife, so to speak.”

I didn’t know if it was truly the afterlife, but I had no other words to describe it. However, he continued to contradict me.

“This isn’t a dream you’re having, nor is it the afterlife. If you were truly dead, I wouldn’t be able to feel the magic that operates through life force. You know that better than anyone.”

“Of course, I don’t feel any magic… Oh?”

The comforting sensation I hadn’t noticed until he mentioned it suddenly overwhelmed me.

The reason for my existence, the powerful flow of energy that had gradually faded as I began to suffer, was now swirling around my heart like a raging torrent. This was something that shouldn’t be possible, so how…

“It’s strong enough for even me to feel it, so it’s impossible that you wouldn’t notice. Isn’t that right? The empire’s greatest healer, Hazel Lawrence.”

He, who had always kept his distance, suddenly stepped closer to me—close enough for his breath to touch my forehead.

In that moment I failed to evade, his solid chest filled my view. Through the thin white shirt, I could see Leopold’s skin.

Thump, thump.

The sound of a heart beating faster and faster was loud.

But this… wasn’t coming from me.

Just as I was about to focus on finding the source of the sound, he gently cradled the back of my head. Then, an unfamiliar touch reached my waist.

“What are you doing—”

Startled by the sudden embrace, I raised my voice, but Leopold didn’t release his arms around me.

“His Majesty has been bothering me since yesterday. He still has that nasty habit of working newlyweds to the bone. I have to head out right away, but I’ll make sure we can have dinner together.”

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Amidst his voice tinged with regret, the rapid beating of his heart sounded awkward. Was he nervous?

“…Let me go.”

I struggled against his unbearably awkward embrace, but my strength was futile.

“Please.”

Only after I pleaded once more did he slowly release his hold. It was surely my imagination, but Leopold’s seemingly hurt expression made me feel as if I had done something terribly wrong.

I stepped back slightly, cleared my throat, and looked him straight in the eyes as I asked, “You said yesterday was our first night, right?”

“…Yes.”

He answered reluctantly, like a student filled with complaints.

From start to finish, his behavior was completely baffling. At times he was kind, then anxious, and now he seemed sulky.

But more than his strange behavior, I wanted to understand the situation properly.

Just in case I wasn’t actually dead.

If God had taken pity on me and given me another chance.

This time, my heart truly began to race.

“Alright. You must be busy, so go on.”

I walked past him and opened the door myself.

Leopold, still frowning slightly as if something was bothering him, moved forward.

“What are you planning to do today?”

“Not sure.”

Should I check out the academy library? Or maybe visit the temple? Perhaps I should meet with my mentor.

My mind was busy with all sorts of thoughts when his voice interrupted again.

“Don’t forget our dinner plans.”

I paused as I was about to push him out the door. Holding the doorknob, I looked up at him.

I wanted to ask why he seemed so anxious, why he was making what used to be his usual unilateral notice sound like a request, and what was with the pleading light in his eyes.

Did his quick wit catch the hidden meaning in my expression?

I turned my gaze away with difficulty and replied, pretending not to care.

“For now.”

I couldn’t quite hide the small hesitation in my hand as I closed the door.

***

As soon as the door closed, Leopold clutched his chest.

“Damn it.”

His heart was pounding strangely hard, not just because he had seen Hazel again.

He expected side effects, but the pain was far more intense than he had imagined. He mustered all his strength to hold himself together and headed to his study. There was no time to marvel at the reality he had longed for.

To think he had actually returned to the past.

When Leopold opened his eyes after his final prayer before the regression, he couldn’t believe the familiar yet entirely different landscape. It was almost enough to make him think he had gone mad thinking about Hazel.

Despite enduring countless days of agony to turn back time, he sometimes doubted. Would this truly allow him to see Hazel again? Was he harboring false hope? The hope was as thin as a spider’s silk, but he couldn’t give up.

“Don’t doubt. It will only worsen the side effects. If you’re not careful, things could go wrong.”

Isabel, who cared deeply for Hazel, often said this coldly.

“I’m trying…”

How many times did he have to pull himself together as his heart crumbled every day? Each time, Hazel’s radiant smile lifted him countless times.

Like a savior, she always appeared when Leopold stood at the edge of an abyss with no bottom in sight. Always the same.

“Leopold. I’m so happy to take a walk with you like this.”

Her beautiful silver hair fluttered softly in the breeze between the trees, and her transparent, amethyst-like eyes, which always captivated him, were filled with happiness.

What was so delightful about that hunting ground, with nothing but tall trees densely packed together?

“Doesn’t the forest match my dress well? It’s my favorite outfit.”

The light green hem of her dress swayed with Hazel’s gentle movements.

It was only after having the same dream several times that Leopold realized his eye color was the same as her dress. The weight of that realization struck him hard.

He remembered Isabel’s warning not to drink, but that day he couldn’t stay sober and drank all night. In her bedroom, where all traces of her had vanished.

Meanwhile, the world surrounding Leopold was as ruthless as the way he treated Hazel.

From being responsible for countless employees of the duke’s household to serving the emperor loyally as one of the five ducal families, and taking care of his mother, who pretended to grieve.

Cruelly, none of this had anything to do with his sense of loss. Only the hope that he might reunite with Hazel kept him going.

For five years after Hazel left, he had bargained time with his life.

When the seemingly endless darkness finally ended and he regained consciousness, Leopold rushed to Hazel’s bedroom but couldn’t bring himself to call out to his wife, who was sleeping like a painting. He was too afraid that the moment reality changed would turn out to be a fantasy.

What should he say when she woke up? Could he hold her just once? No, even if he could just touch her fingertips.

In anxious anticipation, he waited for Hazel to wake up. As she finally came to, Leopold realized something was wrong.

—
T/N: Hazel’s line about them being like parallel lines broke my heart. Leopold, you better damn be prepared to come at us with a glorious redemption! (* ￣︿￣)