There was a time when I mistakenly believed that Leopold might actually be a kind person. My foolishness led me to see only what I wanted to see and interpret things in my own way.

This realization came shortly after I graduated from the Academy and returned to the Lawrence estate. The Lawrence mansion looked just as I vaguely remembered from my childhood, and I wandered around alone, feeling nostalgic. Then I noticed a large door at the end of the first-floor corridor, slightly ajar. Entering, as if entranced, felt like a natural progression for my curious self.

It was a study, clearly used by the master of the mansion.

On one wall, a large fireplace burned softly beneath the family crest, while another wall was lined with books. Opposite the entrance was a large glass window, and as it was sunset, red light poured in, coloring the room. The table, positioned with its back to the window, was immaculately tidy.

After quickly surveying the interior, I slowly examined the bookshelves. Books I had never seen before caught my eye. Although I was quite the bookworm at the Academy, the volumes held by this ancient family were enough to captivate the heart of a newly minted healer filled with academic passion.

As I ran my finger along the titles, debating whether to pull them out, I reached the end of the bookshelf. While books still filled the shelves above and below, a couple of shelves above my head were occupied by various ornaments. Had they been ordinary decorations, I would have likely passed them by.

‘The Academy crest?’

A flat wooden box had a latch engraved with the Academy crest. I carefully reached out and took the box down. The latch slid open easily when I gently pushed it to the side.

‘These are…’

Letters. My one-sided accounts of my days sent throughout my time at the Academy.

Surprised and intrigued, I examined them in order, starting from the one at the bottom. The stationery had faded slightly but was neatly preserved without a single blemish. From the crooked handwriting to the more recent letters with flowing script, all were present.

The events in the letters felt as vivid as if they had happened just days ago. While I was lost in this unexpected pleasure, the butler Peter found me.

‘So this is where you were.’

‘Butler! Look at this. I had no idea the Duke had kept all the letters I sent him. How thoughtful of him.’

‘You shouldn’t enter this room.’

He cautioned me in a gentle but firm tone. However, for some reason, I was too excited to think about leaving and kept chattering.

‘I’m sorry. But if he kept my letters like this, does that mean the Duke read them all? And here I thought…’

‘Is there a problem?’

‘I wrote all sorts of unnecessary things in those letters. Even stories about getting into fights with friends and having to do cleaning as punishment. I assumed he wasn’t reading them since he never replied.’

‘…You sent letters even though you thought the Duke wouldn’t read them?’

‘It’s silly, but that’s why I felt comfortable sending them. Um, like writing a secret diary! But now that I see this, I feel a bit embarrassed…’

As I smiled sheepishly, Peter naturally took the box from me. And as always, he faithfully carried out his duty.

‘I see. I’m sorry, but please leave now. I’ll take care of organizing the letters.’

It was much later that I encountered those letters again—about a year before I died, perhaps.

Leopold, who had returned to the estate from the capital not long ago, seemed too busy to even share a meal with me before leaving for another country. Since this situation had repeated several times already, I wasn’t particularly disappointed. However, his complexion, which I glimpsed in passing, looked noticeably worse, perhaps due to fatigue. By then, my magic was already too weak to heal even a small wound, but magic wasn’t necessarily required for making potions.

Time was tight, but fortunately, I managed to complete all the potions for fatigue recovery and strength enhancement the night before his departure. Of course, I had mentally prepared myself for rejection as I approached his study.

‘Come in.’

Leopold permitted entry without asking who was knocking, likely thinking it was Peter.

‘…What is it?’

Only after noticing me standing silently at the door did he stop what he was doing, looking puzzled.

‘Since I won’t see you for a long time after you leave tomorrow, I brought some potions for you to take…’

‘I don’t need them. Take them back.’

He dismissed my offer without needing to hear more. However, I found myself unable to move, captivated by the box he held in his hand as he stood in front of the fireplace.

‘Why are you still standing there?’

‘Are those… the letters I sent you?’

Leopold turned his head again and resumed his interrupted action. This time, he threw the letters one by one into the burning fireplace, seeming to ensure I saw it. Then, without sparing me a glance, he replied.

‘I had no place to keep them.’

I thought I couldn’t be hurt any further, but what a massive misconception that was. I turned away, still clutching the potions to my chest.

The study was larger than my bedroom. What a ridiculous excuse to claim there was no place to store them. For someone so ruthless, how could he possess any kindness?

If I had to guess why Leopold kept my letters instead of discarding them, it was probably out of a fleeting sense of pity. Or perhaps he simply couldn’t be bothered to throw them away. The undeniable truth was that there was never any genuine care for me in the act of collecting those letters.

“Hazel?”

How long had I been standing there like a statue, lost in old memories? I had forgotten someone was beside me and, startled, I responded.

“Ah, I was spacing out again. I’m sorry.”

“Where do you keep wandering off to? I’m right here, feeling neglected.”

Raphael bent slightly at the waist and waved his hand in front of my eyes. Despite his words of feeling neglected, the corners of his eyes and mouth were curved upwards.

Right, the word “kind” was meant for someone like him—someone who cares about others, considers their feelings, and constantly strives to avoid making them uncomfortable. Someone like Raphael would never even think of burning heartfelt letters, no matter how much he disliked the person.

“Raphael… No, never mind.”

I stopped myself mid-question. There was no point in asking hypothetical questions. I knew all too well that not many people besides Leopold would do such a thing, without needing to confirm it through Raphael.

“What’s ‘no’?”

I walked ahead on the path and naturally complimented him.

“…You’re an affectionate and kind person.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly and playfully retorted.

“I might be affectionate, but I’m not a kind guy.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. But if Hazel feels that way, I must be doing pretty well. I only want to be a kind person to Hazel, you see.”

Raphael, who had been walking beside me, suddenly took a big step forward and moved in front of me. Then he turned to face me, walking backward.

The slanting moonlight illuminated his face brightly. His smile, which always seemed so soft, somehow appeared flawless now.

“Raphael, you should stop—”

“Hmm? What is it that Hazel wants me to stop?”

This time, he started walking ahead of me completely.

“Just saying this as a friend.”

My face instantly flushed at his not-so-quiet remark.

Certainly, even if Raphael had expressed his fondness for me, it wasn’t right to interpret all his words and actions in that context. He seemed to be quietly chuckling in front of me, but I deliberately changed the subject, pretending not to notice.

“Well, anyway, you worked hard today. It must have been your first party.”

Raphael suddenly stopped walking and turned around.

“You know, Hazel.”

He took a deep breath. I looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

“You’re decisive, incredibly capable, and overflowing with consideration. But you’re not just meek either.”

“Are you returning the compliment I gave earlier?”

“No. I’m going to tell you about the one flaw this person with so many strengths has.”

Raphael raised the corner of his mouth with a mischievous look. Tensing up at the unexpected conversation, I asked with difficulty.

“…What flaw?”

“Hazel is…”

“Tell me quickly.”

I wondered why he was drawing this out so much. I felt a bit worried, but if there was a flaw, I could work on fixing it.

“You treat me too much like a child. Could it be… you have a sense of authority over me?”

“What are you talking about…!”

Once again, his answer was completely unexpected. I let out a bewildered laugh, and Raphael laughed loudly.

“It’s a joke, just a joke. Don’t take it seriously.”

But I explained to him like I was making an excuse.

“A sense of authority? There’s no way I could have that! In the first place, Raphael…!”

“What about me?”

“Raphael, well, you act too much like a child, so…”

My voice gradually became softer. It’s true that Raphael had aspects that reminded me of Jayden, which made it hard for me to see us as equals, but…

“So you’re saying it’s entirely my fault that Hazel acts authoritatively?”

He opened his eyes wide in surprise.

Oh, this isn’t right.

“No, no, that’s not it… I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

In the end, I bowed my head and apologized to him. Raphael replied, his voice still tinged with laughter.

“Don’t apologize. Authority—there’s hardly a word further from Hazel than that. I was just teasing you. It’s just…”

I wondered what he was trying to say as he paused again. I slowly raised my head. His soft brown eyes were looking straight at me.

“I wish Hazel would see me as a man, not a child.”