With a weak hand, I barely managed to lift it and grasp the front of Leopold’s white coat. Then, I let my head fall against his chest. Standing on my own was simply too difficult.

“It was so… painful. Watching you suffer… knowing it was all because of me…”

Soon, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder as his strong arms slowly embraced me. The heartbeat I heard against my ear was perfectly normal. Even though he was clearly a patient, it almost made me believe he had regained his health.

“…It’s absolutely not because of you. It’s something I brought upon myself through my own foolishness.”

Leopold lowered his head and whispered softly in my ear. His fingers, as they touched and patted me, were incredibly gentle.

“I was trying to find a way to heal you. So I traced the moments when power was used, and the first scene I saw was…”

I found it difficult to finish my sentence. However, Leopold calmly responded to my words.

“I killed my father while I was still in the womb.”

“…How could you have known to say that? I didn’t even realize… I’m sorry…”

“Then you must have seen me destroy my mother’s leg.”

His tone was indifferent, as if it concerned someone else. I could only nod slightly. The things he had to endure were too harsh for me to respond.

“I had to live my life atoning to my mother. And I ended up dragging you into it. Then I cowardly tried to escape…”

His confessions, spoken as if with a sigh, pierced me. Ultimately, it was my own will that clung to him unilaterally and chose death. I barely swallowed my tears and met his gaze.

“I understand now that you had no other choice. So please don’t blame yourself. It hurts me too much…”

Instead of answering, he raised a hand close to my face and wiped away my tears with his thumb. The look in his eyes, gazing at me with pity, seemed as if he had given up on everything. Afraid of losing him like this, I clenched my hands tightly.

“If you leave me like this, I might end up writhing in agony and dying again, just like before.”

For a moment, Leopold froze. His brow slowly furrowed, as if questioning how I could say such a thing. His hand, suspended in midair, trembled slightly.

“…You were doing well in D’Agnon. Think of this as an extension of that. You’ll be fine.”

“I thought I was doing well too… But the moment I saw you again, I realized it was all an illusion.”

From the moment I entered Lawrence’s territory, I felt a sense of relief, as if returning home. The knights who greeted me warmly and the staff who, though surprised, took care of me, felt more like family than ever.

And when I met Leopold’s eyes.

I realized in an instant how much I had missed him, and how futile my resolve to forget him had been.

“I was merely postponing all thoughts of you. Even when I thought I had forgotten, I was just diverting my attention elsewhere…”

“If those days continue, you’ll eventually forget.”

Leopold slowly stroked my cheek again. Then, with a bitter smile, he spoke words meant to comfort me, though they offered no real help.

“Even if I concede a hundred times that was the case, the situation is different now. In D’Agnon, I wished for your happiness too. But now…”

I steeled myself once more. Knowing there was a way, I had no reason to continue grieving.

“Don’t instill in me the guilt of not being able to save you.”

Yet, Leopold, showing no intention of changing his mind, tried to persuade me instead.

“Don’t feel guilty. This isn’t like a disease. It’s not something within a healer’s domain.”

“Don’t think you can escape with those words. As you know, my lifespan is much longer than that of an ordinary healer, thanks to my strong magical power. There won’t be any problem.”

“How can you be so sure? Even before the regression, you passed away so suddenly…”

His resolute face, which had been opposing me, crumbled in an instant, just as it had when he was trapped in endless sorrow while casting the regression spell.

I gently let go of the hem of his coat that I had been holding. Then, just as Leopold had done, I slowly raised my hand and stroked his cheek.

“This time will be different. As long as you’re by my side. So let’s go to the Ice Lands together.”

His deep green eyes glistened with moisture. After a moment of silence, he lowered his gaze and shook his head.

“…No. I just can’t, Hazel.”

Even if I were in his position, I wouldn’t have been able to agree easily. In the end, I decided to use my last resort. If this was what it took to save him.

“…Look at me, Leopold.”

I warned him as sternly as I could when he met my eyes.

“If you don’t agree, I’ll completely stop using my magic. You know what this means, don’t you?”

Leopold, looking at me in confusion, gradually furrowed his brow. Near my eyes, my hair had already started turning black. Unable to control his trembling voice, he grabbed my shoulders.

“What… what are you doing? Stop it… right now…”

“I’m just going to die a little earlier than you, so what’s the problem?”

I didn’t want to attack his feelings in this way, nor did I want to make such a drastic threat, but I couldn’t think of a better method.

“Is that something you should say to me? Stop it!”

“Say you’ll go to the Ice Lands and receive the spell.”

“Do you think this will make me…!”

I grabbed a strand of my hair and showed it to him. There was only about a hand’s breadth left that hadn’t changed. I felt increasingly suffocated.

“Are you planning to let me die again like this? Without trying anything?”

“Hazel!”

“There’s not much time left.”

While he couldn’t bring himself to answer, my hair turned completely black. My breathing became labored. I struggled to maintain my composure with short, shallow breaths. From now on, it was a race against time. I couldn’t afford to lose consciousness until I got Leopold’s answer.

“Don’t do this. Please…! I can’t lose you again…”

I gritted my teeth as I stared at him, pleading. Like a fish out of water gasping for air, my heart raced wildly as my magic was suppressed.

“Hah… It’s the same for me. Hah… I can’t… hah… lose you like this either.”

Leopold squeezed his eyes shut. Trembling all over, he finally spoke.

“…I’ll go. I’ll go, so please, Hazel, stop now… I’m begging you…”

The thought of possibly losing me still seemed to terrify him. But it was okay if he couldn’t forgive my cruelty. Now, I could save him.

“…I promised…”

Without realizing it, I smiled brightly at Leopold. My consciousness faded away in an instant.

***

Peter arrived, accompanied by a servant carrying tea and soup. Leopold quietly looked down at Hazel, who had fallen into a deep sleep. Exhausted from the emotional turmoil, she probably wouldn’t wake up for at least a few hours.

“Take it back out. I’ll call for you when Hazel wakes up.”

“Understood.”

Peter gestured briefly for the servant to leave first, then quietly took his place behind Leopold. Not wanting to speak with anyone, Leopold instructed Peter.

“You should leave too.”

But the butler didn’t move. Curious about the reason, Leopold turned to see Peter hesitating, unlike his usual self. Then Peter spoke up.

“…That child blabbed about the spell, so now everyone knows the situation.”

Leopold flinched slightly. As he remained silent, Peter continued speaking at length.

“Of course, the Lawrence estate needs you, Your Grace. You are, as far as I know, the most outstanding lord. But what’s more important is…”

What was he trying to say with that pause? Peter had been his most trusted retainer for a long time. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to listen to him just this once.

“You care deeply for the lady, don’t you? The lady also cares for you, Your Grace… I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the lady, known as the best healer, became your partner. Even though I don’t usually believe in things like fate. So, Your Grace, please don’t make a difficult choice.”

Don’t make a difficult choice…

Was he suggesting that he should let Hazel’s life be taken? How dare this butler consider the mistress in such a way. It wasn’t even worth a serious response. He immediately turned his back on Peter.

“How insolent.”

“Forgive me. But it is my wish, as an old man, to see you both happy together.”

Eventually, the sound of neat footsteps and the closing door followed.

Happy together.

Was there anything more extravagant than that? Without him, Hazel could have been happy on her own from the start. As always, self-reproach and guilt struck him mercilessly.

‘If you leave me like this, I might struggle in agony, just like in the past, and end up dying again.’

‘Don’t burden me with the guilt of not being able to save you.’

However, he could no longer act rashly. Hazel’s confession wasn’t something to be taken lightly…

In this situation, the only way to leave Hazel without burdening her with the guilt of not being able to save him was through a natural accident.

Perhaps it was a small blessing in disguise that the natives held a grudge against Leopold. He had killed some of them and taken others hostage when they came down to raid. So, if he played his cards right, he might be able to fake his death convincingly.