Chapter 47 – Heart Racing to Death

The pleasant scent reached her nose.

The light that had been shining on her was blocked by a tall figure, casting a shadow around her. Without even turning her head, Eom So-yeon instantly knew that the man standing beside her was Tae Seo-jun.

However, So-yeon couldn’t lower her head or turn to the side. Her eyes were open, but her vision grew hazy. Her entire body stiffened in its current posture, and even her breathing became erratic.

“……”

Seo-jun, like So-yeon, stared at the poster in silence.

Well, what was there to say? He must have come here to avoid the crowd, just like her. He probably didn’t even feel the need to leave since she had become so insignificant to him.

The two stood side by side, gazing at the same poster, enveloped in a long silence.

But then, at some moment—

“……”

Something brushed against the back of her hand.

In that instant, So-yeon swallowed dryly.

Was it an accident?

She wondered. But before she could process it, the back of his hand pressed against hers, and his warm body heat lingered for a while.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…

So-yeon’s heart pounded violently. But it didn’t stop there. His long fingers lightly touched hers, then slowly intertwined and firmly clasped her hand.

“……!”

Her heart dropped with a loud thud.

The heart of Eom So-yeon, which had been beating so fast it felt like it might burst, was now gone. It had plunged into an endless abyss in an instant.

“W-why…”

She wanted to say something, but her tongue felt paralyzed and refused to move.

“……”

Seo-jun’s unusually deep eyes stared down at So-yeon, whose eyelashes trembled slightly.

At that moment, her brown eyes met his black ones.

“What are you two doing here?”

Director Yoon called out from the entrance of the exhibition hall, holding up a champagne bottle.

“Let’s go pop the champagne. Everyone’s clamoring to toast for success.”

Startled, So-yeon quickly stepped away from Seo-jun.

“I’m sorry, but I think I’ll have to leave now. My child is waiting for me at home.”

“Ah, I see. That’s unfortunate, but we’ll have to let you go then.”

The more you yearn for something, the more desperately you want to see it.

Director Yoon, who understood this truth well, gave Seo-jun a meaningful look as he winked and casually remarked,

“That handsome little guy really is a mama’s boy.”

***

What would happen if I tried to seduce this man?

Would he think I’m crazy?

Or would he welcome it, saying it’s what he wanted all along?

She had thought about it hundreds of times but had never acted on it. She didn’t have the courage. Even though they were both actors, Tae Seo-jun’s noble presence was on a completely different level. His perfection, like a fortress built with unyielding strength, was not something she dared to break.

Yet, the opportunity to boldly provoke him came surprisingly easily.

Finally, today, right now!

Sitting close to Seo-jun, Oh Min-jung crossed her long, slender legs seductively. Her short skirt rode up, revealing her shapely legs.

But Seo-jun’s gaze, fixed on his crystal glass, didn’t waver in the slightest.

Frustrated by his indifference, Min-jung puffed out her cheeks and leaned slightly against his arm.

“What do you think it would be like if we really dated? Even the reporters said our chemistry is amazing. I think it’d be great.”

“……”

Neither liking nor disliking her, his indifferent eyes, softened by the subtle lighting, briefly glanced at Min-jung, who exuded allure, before returning to his glass.

Then, a faint smirk appeared on Seo-jun’s lips.

In truth, Seo-jun’s heart was on the verge of exploding. His mind was in utter turmoil, repeatedly recalling Eom So-yeon’s response during the press conference.

If that bastard was your first love, then what about me? What was I to you, your first man? Damn it! Does that mean I was nothing to you?

The bitter jealousy that made him curse felt utterly disgusting. That’s why he had pretended not to notice her. But as soon as he stepped off the stage, his subconscious sought her out, driven by an urge to confront her with fierce accusations, no matter the excuse.

However, the moment he spotted her in that secluded space, his mind went blank. The only thing that registered was how much he had missed her.

That realization had unconsciously manifested in his actions, something even he couldn’t rationally explain. But how long had it been since he had felt her? Seo-jun knew he would never forget the soft sensation of her fingers entwined with his.

Perhaps that was why, even as everyone cheered and toasted with champagne, Seo-jun felt his mood sink. His chest remained tight, and his heart felt as empty as a tidal flat after the sea had receded.

After the production press conference ended, Director Yoon and Seo-jun left the broadcasting station and headed to a nearby club with the drama’s investors. Oh Min-jung, who had tagged along, stayed behind even after most of the group had left.

Thus, the only people left in the room were Tae Seo-jun and Oh Min-jung.

“What do you think about me? As your woman, Tae Seo-jun. Doesn’t it sound amazing? If the drama’s two leads became a real couple, the show would do even better. Killing two birds with one stone—mmph!”

Min-jung’s words were cut off.

Seo-jun had shoved a piece of watermelon into her mouth mid-sentence.

As watermelon juice dripped down her chin, she spat out the fruit along with the seeds and glared at him with wide eyes.

“What the hell!”

“To become a professional, you’ve got a long way to go, Ms. Oh Min-jung.”

For the first time, Seo-jun opened his mouth to speak.

“A professional knows how to return to reality once the project is over.”

His tone was solemn and low, but there was a clear hint of sarcasm.

“A professional? Then why did you respond so well to my jokes during filming? It’s because you had feelings for me, isn’t it?”

“Feelings? Let’s call it courtesy.”

“You son of a…!”

So full of himself!

Humiliated by his rejection, Min-jung’s entire body flushed red with embarrassment.

“……”

Seo-jun, who had sealed his lips once more, gestured with his chin.

The exit is over there.

***

Even if she had been drunk, her mind was far too clear.

2 A.M., when everyone was asleep.

Park Seong-ho parked his car in front of So-yeon’s apartment building. Leaning against the car he had just exited, Tae Seo-jun quietly looked up at So-yeon’s home. Slowly, he brought his phone to his ear.

Beep, beep. The dial tone rang twice before the voice he longed to hear flowed out from the small device.

…Hello.

“Eom So-yeon…?”

Yes, it’s me.

“I… drank.”

“But no matter how much I drink…”

I only think of you more.

Seo-jun swallowed the rest of his sentence with a dry cough and spoke again.

“I’m not drunk.”

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

“Wow… Eom So-yeon, you’re so cold…”

“Yeah, I guess you have to be. You have to stay strong.”

He still couldn’t fully believe it, but she was a mother of a child now. That meant there was no place for him in her life—no spot for him, not even in the most hidden corner of her heart.

All he could hear was her breathing.

Even so, Seo-jun found himself liking this moment.

It felt as though they hadn’t broken up, as though he hadn’t missed her all this time, as though they were still lovers. Just being able to talk to her like this made him laugh softly, even if it was a hollow laugh.

“I guess I must be a little drunk.”

“I’m sorry for calling you out of the blue.”

Even he thought he wasn’t acting like himself.

It’s late. You should rest…

“Why are you still awake, then?”

Sigh.

Was that a sigh?

But after that, she didn’t even let out the smallest breath.

“Eom So-yeon…”

Listening to her silence once again, Seo-jun began to wonder what he was doing. A faint sigh escaped through his neatly aligned teeth.

He couldn’t understand himself—calling her out of nowhere, acting so pathetic, lingering near the house of the woman he couldn’t forget. It was all so incomprehensible and disgustingly pitiful.

“Alright, go to sleep.”

Click.

The call ended without even a proper goodbye.

As he tried to straighten his body, which had slumped against the car, Seo-jun stumbled and hit his hip against the bumper. Park Seong-ho, seated in the driver’s seat, quickly opened the door to help support him. But Seo-jun waved him off with a dismissive hand, chuckling softly as if to say, ‘Leave me alone.’

Then, he looked up at the night sky. The full moon floating in the pitch-black sky seemed excessively bright.

Tilting his head and neck back, Seo-jun gazed at the countless stars twinkling alongside the moon before eventually sitting down on the ground, stretching out his long legs.

His eyes dropped to the phone screen in his hand.

It felt as though her scent, carried by the sea breeze, still lingered in his nose.

That radiant smile, unparalleled in the world.

There would never be anyone as beautiful as her again.

His brow furrowed faintly as he stared at a photo taken on the soft, white sands of a beach during a brief stopover on a small island in Malaga. His dark eyes narrowed further.

Seo-jun missed her terribly.

Eom So-yeon’s smiling face.

***

So-yeon sat alone in the dark room.

She stared blankly at the phone, which had gone silent after the call ended.

Her heart wanted to run to him the moment she heard his low voice through the receiver. No, during the call, she had silently asked herself dozens of times.

Where are you right now?

Why are you calling me at this hour, unable to sleep?

But even though she wanted to ask, she couldn’t. Even though she wanted to cry, her eyes were now dry.

Her empty gaze revealed no emotion. Even the weight in her eyes seemed drier than the desert’s sandstorms. Yet her large eyes, rimmed with faint redness from resigned despair, looked all the more sorrowful.

Still vividly remembering the memories of Malaga and him from three months ago, So-yeon unconsciously lowered her gaze to her hand.

The soft sensation that had brushed against the back of her hand. The warmth that had wrapped around her fingers.

If I had grabbed his hand and held on when he pulled away, if I had held on tight and never let go, would our future have turned out differently? Could we have been together now?

Why did he hold my hand at the poster exhibition?

I saw it all—the feelings you had for me moving to Oh Min-jung. I saw it in Cadiz. Or was I mistaken?

Ah, I really don’t know anymore.

Are these thoughts just pointless regrets?

Feeling confused, So-yeon shook her head vigorously with her hands clasped around it. But it was no use. The more she tried not to think about Tae Seo-jun, the more her mind clung to the overwhelming longing for him.

How much longer do I have to yearn for him to forget him?

How much more pain do I have to endure to erase him, engraved into my very bones?

Maybe I’ll have to live like this for the rest of my life.

So please, at least you forget about me.

Don’t suffer because of me.

You’re someone who deserves to be happy, no matter what.

Sigh…

Letting out a deep exhale as if expelling the pain in her chest, So-yeon rose from her seat, her body heavy like waterlogged cotton. She walked to the room where Hyun-woo was sleeping.

Lying down beside her son, she pressed her face against his soft, doughy cheeks. Even in his sleep, the child seemed to enjoy his mother’s presence, wriggling his small body closer into her embrace.

Yes, yes, my son…

For the first time, So-yeon managed a faint smile.

Her little boy.

This tiny being was the one thing keeping her breathing, keeping her alive.