Chapter 4 – Encounter with a Demon (Part 4)

With a sense of finally being back to where she belonged, she woke up from her dream.

“Gasp, gasp.”

Ellerdin sat up, breathing heavily. Her whole body was drenched in sweat.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

She buried her face in her hands and burst into tears. She remembered the monster she had hurt earlier.

If only she had been as brave as the girl in her dream. If she had been that strong, she could have hugged him without hurting him.

Regret washed over her. And she didn’t understand why she called the monster Fernan, or why she thought the monster she saw earlier was the same as the one in her dream.

She knew in her head that the monster wasn’t Fernan, but her heart ached as if she had hurt Fernan.

The hurt expression in its eyes still wouldn’t leave her mind.

‘I didn’t mean to show contempt.’

It seemed her surprised look had been misunderstood. She knew better than anyone what it felt like to receive a look of contempt.

She hated herself for being so weak and hurting the monster.

***

Sunlight streamed through the window.

Ellerdin turned her tired face towards the window. She had scratched herself until morning without being able to fall asleep again.

‘He didn’t come even once.’

Ellerdin touched the empty spot next to her.

‘Usually, he comes several times in the early morning… Though I heard he was busy yesterday….’

But she really wanted to see him yesterday. 

Would he be busy today as well?

‘Stop thinking about it.’

Ellerdin lightly shook her head to clear her thoughts. She was too mentally exhausted to think about anything.

Suddenly, a black furball came to her mind. She wanted to be comforted by Fer.

‘How selfish.’

She had only caused Fer pain, and now she wanted to be comforted. 

How could I be so selfish?

The more she tried to stop her pessimistic thoughts, the more she hated herself because she knew she would still go looking for Fer.

She was hopeless, feeling it was wrong but having no will or intention to change.

There had rarely been times when she hated herself this much while living with Fernan, but the hurt look in the monster’s eyes made her feel useless again.

Knock, knock.

At that moment, there was a cheerful knock, and the door burst open.

“My wife!”

“Fernan?”

Ellerdin looked at him in surprise at the unexpected visitor.

Fernan was looking at her with a bright smile.

Ignoring her startled appearance, he approached and knelt at her feet.

Fernan took Ellerdin’s hand and brought it to his cheek, speaking playfully.

“Doesn’t it feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages?”

His sparkling eyes quickly scanned her face.

Noticing her reddened eyes, his face gradually hardened. Ellerdin quickly covered her face with her arm.

“It was just one day.”

She answered calmly, turning her head.

Fernan swallowed his bitterness at her signal not to ask further. He smiled and said,

“Even so, we haven’t seen each other much lately. I missed you so much.”

Fernan briefly kissed the back of Ellerdin’s hand. He was in top condition at the moment.

Having transformed once, he probably wouldn’t turn into a demon for a while.

He was happy knowing he didn’t have to stay away from her like last time.

His good mood seemed to lift her spirits as well. His single smile seemed to chase away all the thoughts that had been eating at her.

His sparkling eyes looking at her were lovely.

Ellerdin reached out and stroked his hair. The soft hair slipped through her fingers.

As she quietly played with his hair, she suddenly wondered where Fer was. It wasn’t because she wanted comfort; it was pure curiosity.

“Fer….”

“Yes?”

“Come to think of it, where is the black dog? He lives here, right?”

At her words, Fernan broke out in a cold sweat. He had forgotten to explain.

What would she think if I told her now that the dog was actually me? Probably not a good reaction.

But he couldn’t keep hiding it either.

Fernan mumbled, unable to tell the truth or lie.

‘…Is it difficult to answer?’

Ellerdin tilted her head.

‘I saw him in the castle before, and I thought Fernan would know better than Celine, so I asked. If Fernan doesn’t know, is he a free spirit?’

She thought that might be possible with Fer.

He used the castle’s library as his hideout, roamed the forest freely, and came and went from the castle as he pleased.

Thinking of Fer made her smile. Seeing her laugh quietly, Fernan gently touched her cheek.

“Do you want to see him?”

“Oh… yes. He’s a dear friend to me.”

Ellerdin smiled brightly as she answered.

Fernan was silent for a moment before agreeing and leaving the room.

Soon, a large furball appeared beyond the open door.

“Fer!”

Ellerdin’s face lit up as she ran towards Fer. But her weakened leg muscles gave out, and her body wobbled.

“Ah.”

Fer quickly ran to her, startled.

Fortunately, he caught her, preventing her from getting hurt. Though there was a soft carpet below, so she wouldn’t have been injured even if she fell.

Ellerdin laughed and rubbed her face in Fer’s fur.

“It’s been a while, how have you been?”

Fer nodded silently.

Normally, he would have licked her hand, but this time he just sat still, looking elsewhere.

Feeling somewhat hurt by his stiff demeanor, Ellerdin swallowed her disappointment.

She sat on the carpet and began stroking Fer’s fur.

“I missed you.”

She felt Fer’s fur twitch at her words. Feeling the silence, Ellerdin murmured bitterly.

“It would be nice if you could talk like before.”

Fer’s ears twitched. Trying to get a reaction from the usually stoic Fer, Ellerdin asked with a bright smile,

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“…….”

But this time, too, he silently shook his head.

“Oh….”

Ellerdin awkwardly stopped herself from getting some fruit. Fer felt distant.

It was natural for Fer to distance himself from her.

He had to endure the pain of his flesh rotting because of her stubbornness.

‘He might hate me being like this.’

Fer was kind, so he was probably enduring it. Feeling down, Ellerdin stopped stroking his fur.

Fer looked back at her, puzzled when the pleasant touch stopped.

“You can go back now. Thank you for staying with me.”

Ellerdin smiled and stood up.

‘Why is she stopping already?’

Fernan looked at her in confusion.

He whimpered and followed her closely.

Could it be because I didn’t react properly? But what could I do? She rubbed her face against me and whispered that she missed me as soon as I came in.

His heart pounded so hard that he couldn’t look at her properly, causing his stiff reaction.

‘It’s unfair!’

Fernan grabbed Ellerdin’s sleeve with his teeth.

‘It’s a misunderstanding.’

He whimpered sadly.

When Ellerdin didn’t turn around, Fer anxiously tugged on her sleeve.

“Fer?”

Ellerdin turned around at the pull. At that moment, with a ripping sound, her sleeve tore off.

It wasn’t that her clothes were worn or that his bite was that strong.

It was just that no cloth could withstand the sharp teeth of a monster.

As the sleeve tore off, her white arm was exposed.

“……!”

Fernan’s body stiffened. The torn sleeve fell from his gaping mouth.

Ellerdin blinked at the fallen sleeve.

‘W-what is this?’

Fernan stared blankly at the floor. This wasn’t what he intended.

Seeing Fer’s pupils trembling violently, Ellerdin chuckled.

“You naughty child.”

She bent down to pick up the torn piece of clothing. Her exposed white arm was covered in scars.

Fer’s gaze was fixed on Ellerdin’s arm. The scars looked like they were caused by someone hitting her.

“Oh… it looks unsightly, doesn’t it.”

Ellerdin said bitterly, covering her arm with her other hand. Seeing this, Fer shook his head vigorously and pushed his large snout into her embrace.

Ellerdin burst into laughter at the sight of his giant body trying to snuggle in like he was being affectionate, whining softly.

“No, wrong is wrong.”

Ellerdin said with a mischievous expression, stroking Fer’s face with both hands.

She gently petted his pricked-up ears. The soft sensation was pleasing.