‘Is he deliberately speaking to me?’

Jacqueline expressed her gratitude to the butler who had intentionally addressed her.

“You’re very kind, Heather. You noticed I was nervous and tried to make me feel comfortable, didn’t you?”

“Ahem…”

“Thank you.”

Heather observed the young lady with a slightly more generous mindset. He wouldn’t deny that he had initially thought she would be a one-day visitor. And that thought still held true.

Heather’s first impression of Jacqueline was that she was gentle, kind, and took pride in her work. She was a good person. 

With warmth like spring sunshine and freshness like young buds, she was someone who would be loved anywhere.

Recognizing her delicate nature and vulnerability, Heather hoped she wouldn’t get hurt, or at least, would be hurt less.

“The master is in a very bad mood today. I hope you won’t be too disappointed when you meet him.”

With those words, Heather fell silent.

Eventually, arriving at the door to the study, Heather knocked twice. A deep male voice was heard from outside the room.

“Come in.”

When Oscar gave permission, Heather opened the study door. Entering the study, Jacqueline nervously opened her mouth to greet Oscar, who was seated in a chair.

However, before she could speak, Oscar put down the document he had been reading in braille and said: “Heather, did you open the door? I feel a draft coming in.”

“The door is properly closed, Master.”

“Then it seems an insect has entered the room. I’ve been hearing an irritating noise since you opened the door and came in.”

Understanding his master’s intention, Heather looked at Jacqueline with a dark expression. He had expected the guest wouldn’t be welcomed, but he was surprised that Oscar would treat her completely nonexistent. 

Jacqueline smiled at Heather reassuringly. Despite the awkward situation, she introduced herself bravely.

“I’m not an insect. I’m Jacqueline Carroll. I’ve been sent by the Volunteer Association under instructions to assist with Lord von Oestenberg’s rehabilitation. I will do my best to help you recover…”

Oscar deliberately dropped his pen. Jacqueline hesitated when she heard the pen hit the floor with a thud, but quickly finished her introduction.

“…to the best of my ability.”

‘Just what I expected.’

Despite Oscar’s dismissal, Jacqueline remained composed. Compared to her first encounter with Pers Friedman, Oscar’s coldness was gentlemanly.

True to his nickname “Mad Dog of the Battlefield,” Pers Friedman had spat at and insulted people upon first meeting them. 

A priest who witnessed Friedman’s outburst toward Jacqueline had seriously suggested he might be possessed by a demon (he had actually planned to consult the papal office). 

Recalling that incident, Jacqueline steeled herself.

Oscar ordered Heather to bring him the pen, and Heather walked over with heavy steps, picked up the fallen pen, and handed it to his master.

“Here it is.”

“The insect noise continues to bother me.”

Even someone with Jacqueline’s patience could be hurt. It saddened her to be disliked from the first meeting by the war hero she had admired.

Jacqueline realized this was her first trial. To treat Oscar properly as a patient, she needed to either forget he was a hero or break free from the stereotype that heroes must behave in a certain way. She gave herself a mental suggestion.

‘He is a patient. A patient I must care for.’

When working as a volunteer, one often saw the worst sides of patients. Remaining detached while responding appropriately was the role of a volunteer, but Jacqueline wasn’t fully prepared yet. 

Oscar von Oestenberg was one of the few symbolic figures who had positively influenced her life, and it wasn’t easy to empty that image and start again from zero.

Quietly observing Oscar, Jacqueline noticed he didn’t wear dark glasses like other visually impaired people. 

She faced those striking eyes again after two years. His eyes still shone like silver moons embedded in his face. From another angle, they looked mysterious, like gray spinel.

‘His hair and eyes are just like Mrs. Medwin’s.’

The combination of black hair and silver-gray eyes was characteristic of the von Oestenberg family. It was proof of their noble bloodline. 

Comparing them to her own red hair, Jacqueline gazed at Oscar in a trance before suddenly coming to her senses and remembering her duty.

‘If you don’t look closely, you wouldn’t know his gaze is unfocused.’

Visually impaired people typically wore dark glasses to hide their unfocused eyes, but Oscar’s eye focus wasn’t awkward enough to require dark glasses.

Before meeting Oscar, Jacqueline had visited Mrs. Medwin to gather information about him. Mrs. Medwin had carefully shared her opinion with Jacqueline alone.

‘The cause of blindness could be nerve damage in the brain from external head trauma, or it might be psychogenic due to post-traumatic disorder. I should give a conservative medical opinion. But honestly, speaking as his aunt, I hope it’s psychogenic. If it’s a mental illness, it can be cured. That’s more hopeful to think about.’

She also learned that patients who became visually impaired later in life, like Oscar, easily fell into depression and had a high risk of suicide.

Jacqueline looked at Oscar, who was ignoring her.

‘A mental illness…’

Oscar acted like only he and Heather were in the room. It was perfect dismissal. Jacqueline calmly waited for Oscar, who had no intention of speaking with her.

Meaningless time passed with one person ignoring and the other waiting. Jacqueline stood waiting in the study without leaving, even until Oscar finished his day’s work. Despite her aching back and swollen legs, she waited persistently.

That day ended their first meeting that way.

* * *

Two years ago, Oscar, whom she had seen at Michael’s law firm office, was an untouchable presence. She had never seen a man with such a jade-like face and dignified bearing before, nor had she ever experienced her heart fluttering for someone of the opposite s*x.

Jacqueline couldn’t forget the moment their eyes met through his slightly tilted gentleman’s hat and the thrill of that instant. 

She had worried that repeating such a heart-harmful experience three days a week might eventually give her heart problems like Melinda.

‘That doesn’t seem likely. Today again, he gives me no opening.’

Oscar still ignored her. But Jacqueline didn’t get discouraged easily. This was because she was a hard worker who gave her best to any task and an optimist with conviction about her future. 

Thanks to that nature, she had overcome many difficulties so far.

While consoling herself that some things couldn’t be helped no matter how hard she tried, Jacqueline still hoped that Oscar would open his heart to her someday. 

With that hope, she steadfastly visited Hildegard House. She didn’t forget to make her presence known consistently, once when arriving for work and once when leaving.

“My lord, did you have a peaceful weekend? The weather is quite fickle today. This morning, gray clouds were spreading across the blue sky, but since around noon, they’ve disappeared completely. I suppose a clear sky without a single cloud refers to a sky just like now,” she would say in greeting.

Or she would start talking about finding a four-leaf clover, following her stream of consciousness:

“A few days ago, I found a four-leaf clover while walking in the park near my home. Did you know, my lord? In the northern regions, people eat clovers. They say it’s surprisingly delicious in salads, and I’m planning to try it someday. I noticed clovers in the garden here too. If you find any clovers missing from the garden, know that I’m the culprit.”

“…”

“Oh, right. The salad the chef made last time was really delicious. It was just butterhead lettuce dressed with salt, pepper, and olive oil, but how could it taste so good?”

The memory of that salad made her mouth water. She continued, licking her lips:

“By the way, I like to eat light green lettuce and red onions topped with ripe red tomatoes and orangish soft-boiled eggs. For the dressing, I add tangy lemon, a little garlic, and olive oil. And if you crumble some milky white goat cheese on top, it’s absolutely perfect. I think salads should have diverse colors to look good and taste good. Don’t you agree?”

When explaining things to Oscar, Jacqueline deliberately paid attention to her descriptions to stimulate his imagination. 

Chattering alone like a clown in a silent space was physically exhausting, but whenever she had the chance, Jacqueline would talk using language that stimulated imagination. 

It was a technique she had learned from Sheila, who was skilled at dealing with children.

‘They say you can see with your heart, not just your eyes.’

Visually impaired people responded differently depending on which volunteer they met. 

The reason volunteers with good expressiveness had higher satisfaction rates was because they converted visual information into sound and delivered it through the ears. Jacqueline wanted to show Oscar that there were other ways to see the world.

Oscar pressed his fingers against his temple and said to Heather:

“Heather, silence Miss Carroll at once.”

Jacqueline closed her mouth and opened her poetry book again, beginning to read silently. Heather cleared his throat loudly and tried to soothe his master.

“Miss Carroll’s departure time is in 20 minutes. Please endure until then.”

When 20 minutes had passed, Jacqueline rose from her chair expectantly.

“My lord, I’ll be going now. Oh, by the way, the exhibition this time…”

Seeing that Jacqueline’s story was about to get longer, Oscar forgot his intention to ignore her and hastily said: “That’s enough, you may go now.”

“Wow! Finally, have you decided to talk with me?”

Oscar clamped his mouth shut, realizing his mistake. Jacqueline grinned, lightly clenching and unclenching her fist. Mission accomplished, strategic retreat. 

Jacqueline was good at hitting and running.