4.1

She had done it. She had completely slept with Lucian Declan again.

Staring at the familiar ceiling, Iliana clutched her head and let out a hollow laugh. Even though three days had already passed, the vivid sensations made her let out a scream.

Every morning, she wandered around absentmindedly, bumping into walls and shouting in the hallways, causing the maids to suffer from her bizarre behavior. Eventually, even Viscount Raylin had sent her a quiet message telling her to calm down. That’s how frantically Iliana had spent the past week.

And the reason for all this?

“There’s no letter for you today either, Miss.”

“I see……”

It was because she hadn’t received a single letter from Lucian.

Until now, letters had always arrived promptly—on the same day if early, or the next day at the latest. They had exchanged letters so frequently, coordinating their schedules, that the sudden silence was agonizing. It made her anxious.

She had been so worried that she had written a letter four days ago. No matter how busy he was, he would usually have replied by this time. At the very least, she should have received a note saying he would reply later, but even that hadn’t arrived. Her legs trembled with unease.

Could it be that he had found out this time? 

Such thoughts rose endlessly. By the time she realized it, she had already crumpled six sheets of stationery while sitting at the table.

Should I go for a walk and wait? 

As she absentmindedly stepped out of her room, she was stopped by the voices of the maids.

“We should probably hide this so the young lady doesn’t see it.”

Hearing the voice of the maid who had just reported that there was no letter, Iliana hurriedly moved toward the source of the sound. Hiding behind the corner of the wall, she peeked out to eavesdrop on their conversation.

What exactly are they hiding? 

Reducing the noise of her pounding heart, she cautiously peeked her head out, and what she saw was a newspaper in the maid’s hands.

That’s…… It looked familiar.

It was one of the Kingdom’s infamous third-rate gossip tabloids. Although 70% of its content was unreliable, it captivated people with its provocative articles.

On the headline was Lucian. Alongside an unidentified lady.

“Oh my goodness…… Even the headline is something we have to cover up. ‘Lucian Declan, one of the Continent’s three most handsome men, in a secret romance with Nea Hariel?’ Seriously.”

“The headline is bad enough, but the text below is even worse. ‘Although there’s no official statement yet, this is reportedly the third time the two have been spotted on secret dates.’”

“Ugh, we’ll have to hide this. Maybe we should just have Tilda burn it?”

What am I hearing right now?

Unable to believe what she had just heard, Iliana hurriedly covered her mouth. She could hear the maids wondering if they had heard something, but she couldn’t make a sound.

Suddenly, she remembered the conversation they had in the garden that day. Back then, Lucian had said……

• That was the first time I realized how ruthless Miss Hariel could be. I ended up spending unexpected extra money because of her. 

Ah, something felt like it had dropped heavily in her chest. While Lucian hadn’t confirmed anything that day, he also hadn’t denied it.

Knowing that he tended to respond with affirmations even when he meant to deny something, Iliana had interpreted it positively. She had believed that the rumors about Nea Hariel were false, that their relationship was purely professional as business partners.

But what if that wasn’t the case?

Could this be the reason he hadn’t sent me a reply?

‘But if that were true…… That night, Lucian was so kind.’

The weight of his warmth as he held her close had been reassuring. He hadn’t seemed to dislike it.

Lucian was a gentleman, wasn’t he? He had probably attended the social gathering out of a sense of duty as a noble. Furthermore, if Lucian truly were in the early stages of a relationship with Nea Hariel, he would have reduced his meetings with Iliana.

He had always responded positively in his letters. From the beginning, even before inviting her to the garden.

“This is already the fourth article, isn’t it? Even if it’s just gossip, it’s still troubling. How can they fail to control information like this?”

“Well, who knows? Once or twice could be a coincidence, but after three times, it’s practically considered fact.”

“If the young lady hears about this, she’ll cry her eyes out. Don’t ever mention this in front of her.”

“I won’t! Everyone working here knows how much the young lady adores Young Master Declan. But still, the Hariel family isn’t a bad match, is it? They’re a Northern family, after all.”

The conversation that interrupted her thoughts made Iliana clutch her dress tightly. No matter how hard she tried to think positively, she couldn’t.

As the maids had said, Nea Hariel was an ideal candidate for a noble marriage. She was someone who could form a mutually beneficial contract and relationship. On top of that, she was known for her excellent business acumen and was a woman of exceptional beauty—far more stunning than Iliana.

Then what about Iliana Raylin?

She was, at best, the unremarkable daughter of a modest viscount family. She had been lucky to be born a noble and even luckier to stand beside Lucian. Her only real talent was her ability to love for a long time. And even that was useless in the real world because she had eyes only for Lucian.

Lucian had no reason to meet someone like her. Not unless it was under special circumstances like this.

The suggestion to fix the drinking habits was Lucian’s idea, based on a casual remark she had made. He wasn’t the one who brought it up first.

……What if the reason he wanted to fix his drinking habit in the first place was to spend more time with Nea Hariel?

The fleeting thought turned all the excitement she had felt until now into despair. Perhaps it would have been better if she had never tasted happiness in the first place. She had spent almost an entire month with him.

She had received affection that exceeded the duration of her one-sided love.

Lucian, who had kissed her cheek. Lucian, who had teased her. Lucian, who had whispered that she was adorable……

Ah, forget it.

“Huh, Miss!”

Iliana, who had leaned off the wall, strode toward the maids. The three maids, startled and unable to hide their expressions, froze as Iliana snatched the tabloid from them. As soon as the headline the maid had been reading aloud came into view, Iliana folded the paper in half.

“M-Miss……”

“I’ll borrow this.”

The maids exchanged uneasy glances at her curt words. Normally, she would have smiled and reassured them, but this time, Iliana said nothing and immediately left the mansion.

Without hesitation, she headed for the front gate, walking straight toward the carriage parked outside. Her face was grim, like someone who had been swindled and was now demanding their money back. Seeing her expression, Anas, who had just stepped out of the carriage, turned pale.

“That angry figure… Is that my sister?”

“…Well, yes, it seems so.”

What’s wrong with her? Has she finally gone mad? 

Before Anas could even raise her finger in confusion, Iliana had already reached the carriage and was glaring at the coachman. Startled by her sharp gaze, the coachman’s eyes darted nervously.

“Ah, Miss, is there something you need…?”

“To the Earl’s residence.”

“Pardon?”

“Take me to the Earl’s residence.”

Her firm voice didn’t waver even a single note, and the coachman’s complexion turned pale. He bit his lip awkwardly and glanced at Anas for help before mustering the courage to speak.

“Well, Miss, I just returned from the city center with Young Master Anas a moment ago, so I was about to switch…”

“That’s right, Sister. Maybe you should take McAdam instead of Dugley…”

“I’ll give you a bonus. Take me to the Earl’s residence.”

Ignoring the two of them, Iliana maintained her stance, leaving the coachman no choice but to shrink back.

“Yes, ma’am! I’ll take you there right away!”

The coachman, wiping tears from his eyes, climbed back onto the carriage. His face was filled with tears as he grabbed the reins, leaving Anas with no choice but to offer words of consolation.

How long would it take to reach the Earl’s residence?

Iliana bit her dry lips, trying to suppress her anxious thoughts.

She had no clear plan for what she wanted to do once she got there. She just felt that she needed to see Lucian and talk to him.

If she could just catch a glimpse of his thoughts—if she could find out whether he was pushing her away or if the Earl’s residence was simply too busy—then perhaps she could calm her burning heart.

By the time she had crumpled the tabloid in her hands for the twentieth time, the Earl’s residence came into view.

“…We’ve arrived, Miss.”

Looking at the coachman’s haggard face as he opened the door, Iliana nodded. Her thoughts weren’t entirely sorted out, but one thing was certain: she had questions that needed answers. 

Closing her eyes tightly and then opening them, she stepped out of the carriage, only to see Lucian rushing toward her with a startled expression.