Chapter 1: Consummation on the Night of the New Moon (11)

“Haa, haa…”

She hadn’t even walked that quickly, but her breath was short. Her chest tightened painfully, like something hot and sharp was lodged behind her ribs.

No one came after her as she fled toward her carriage. Her parents’ instructions no longer mattered. Only one thought rang out in her mind, loud and bitter.

That the look in his eyes every night—

Had been hatred.

It was the day she realized, achingly so, that he had never welcomed her out of duty or kindness, but merely tolerated her.

From that tulip garden moment onward, the knot of emotions that formed in her chest had never unraveled.

Not through five changing seasons. Not once.

“Haa…”

With a long sigh, Larie sat up. The water in the tub had gone lukewarm.

Even with a weary body, she began to prepare herself. Today, she had to attend the emperor’s birthday celebration—with Terian.

It was the very event her father had ordered her to attend with him.

Only after the pain subsided did her rational thoughts return. Something about her father’s insistence that she appear at the event alongside Terian had begun to feel suspicious.

Maybe she should have found some excuse not to go, after all.

But since it was the emperor’s birthday, skipping the event without good reason would have been difficult. Even if her father hadn’t said anything, her presence would’ve been expected.

Since they had no choice but to arrive together, Larie figured she could always return alone midway through the event. It wouldn’t seem strange—she and Terian often moved separately at gatherings anyway.

“……”

Looking at her pale reflection in the mirror, Larie made a quiet wish.

She hoped the evening would pass without incident.

***

Terian dressed in formal wear that was proper, but not excessive.

He was attending only because it was an event he couldn’t skip—certainly not one he looked forward to. The emperor wouldn’t want a sincere blessing from him, anyway.

As he walked toward the carriage, he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around, he saw Larie approaching without even a handmaid in tow.

“……”

With her signature composed expression, she stared quietly at the ground as she walked. As soon as Terian spotted her, he stopped instinctively.

“Ah.”

Only when she was just a few steps away did Larie seem to notice his presence.

Her gaze finally turned to meet his.

“……”

“……Good day, Your Grace.”

The moment their eyes met, she quickly lowered hers again. The warmth of the previous night had vanished entirely, leaving only her usual detached demeanor.

It had been nearly five seasons since she last came to his room. Their night together had come after a long, long time. And in many ways, it had been a night where nothing went according to plan.

He had sworn not to be swayed again, yet he’d pushed her too far. Watching her flee at dawn, he had been filled with self-loathing.

His mind, still full of her, was far too restless.

“……”

“……”

Perhaps confused by his silence, Larie stole a glance at him.

Come to think of it, this was their first time going out together the morning after.

“Is your body… all right?”

“……Yes.”

Had she grown even thinner than before?

The stream of thoughts wouldn’t stop. Failing to set them aside, Terian stepped slightly to the side for now, then slowly began to move toward the carriage.

He carefully observed Larie as she followed behind. Though he shortened his stride, she maintained a slightly awkward distance—not quite enough to be considered walking together.

There was no energy in the way she walked. That’s when he recalled the reports that she hadn’t eaten properly over the past few days. He had spoken harshly, accusing her of pretending, but perhaps it had been true.

Was her stomach unsettled from resolving to spend the night with him?

Why was she so insistent on fulfilling the duties of a wife?

“If you’re tired, you may rest at the estate. I’ll explain things for you.”

The words came out colder than he’d intended. Instead of correcting himself, Terian studied Larie’s expression.

She merely shook her head faintly, still pale.

“No, it’s fine.”

Soon, they arrived at the carriage. For some reason, the short walk had left him feeling strangely parched.

Larie’s hair shimmered brilliantly under the sunlight. As he let his eyes linger on that halo of light, Terian stepped in closer.

He extended his hand to escort her into the carriage.

“Thank yo—ah.”

Just as she was about to take his hand, Larie flinched and jerked away. The movement was so sudden and forceful that her whole body staggered.

Reacting instinctively, Terian reached out and grabbed her waist to steady her. The sudden closeness reminded him of the previous night.

“…Ah… Please… let go.”

It seemed Larie felt the same. Her face darkened further as she recoiled with almost unnatural stiffness.

For some reason, Terian’s strength drained, and he released her.

Her gaze dropped to his bare hand as she took a step back.

A familiar sense of heaviness washed over him again.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“It’s… it’s fine. Please don’t mind it.”

Larie replied while averting her gaze, steadying herself by the carriage door. Terian found it hard to tear his eyes away from the slight furrow in her brow that betrayed her discomfort.

“You’re telling me… not to mind it?”

With the experience of past encounters, Terian was sure now. Just like that day in the forest, Larie seemed repulsed by touching his bare hand.

The same way he treated others, she did to him.

“…I’m sorry.”

Instead of explaining herself, Larie simply apologized. As if she expected nothing from him at all, her eyes were blank and hollow.

“Why is it… always like this with you?”

Something in him was burning up. He couldn’t understand why she’d come to his room with such evident disgust still in her heart.

In the end, Terian stepped aside completely, watching silently as Larie took the butler’s hand and climbed into the carriage.

“……”

“……”

A stifling silence lingered between them as the carriage rolled toward the Imperial Palace.

❖ ❖ ❖

From the moment they entered the ballroom, the two moved separately.

More accurately, Larie had distanced herself out of guilt for being seen beside him. A faint hope lingered in her actions—that if her father had an ulterior motive, she might be able to thwart it.

“It’s been a while since the last palace ball.”

“Yes, how have you been?”

The ballroom remained unchanged. Amidst the nobles exchanging greetings in a flurry, Larie quietly moved toward the wall.

A soft cascade of light fell from the chandelier above. The ceiling was adorned with a painting of the Blessing Lake, symbol of the Laxtreen royal family. Surrounded by forest, the lake’s depiction was so vivid it looked as if water might spill from it at any moment.

It had only been a short walk, yet the curious glances drawn to her were suffocating. Reaching a quiet corner, Larie looked toward the throne at the front—still empty, waiting for the emperor.

“After paying respects to the Emperor, I’ll be able to slip out quickly.”

That was what Larie had hoped—but perhaps it had been too long since she last attended a palace ball. Things did not go as she wished.

“Have you read the recently published War Heroes Who Will Become Myth?”

A group of noble ladies, previously chatting in the distance, had somehow drifted closer to where Larie stood. Their fans fluttered in exaggerated motion.

Though mingling crowds were the norm at balls, this movement felt unnaturally deliberate. Having endured such scenes before, Larie tensed and edged closer to the wall.

“Of course. Even commoners in the Fourth District are raving about it.”

“Hmm, ignorant they may be, but at least they recognize a hero when they see one.”

As the topic turned to war heroes, Larie quickly understood their intent. She masked her unease and glanced around the ballroom.

“My mother claims she once met Countess Ventus in person.”

“Oh my, really? Lady Enviaji?”

“Goodness. What was she like? It’s such a shame not a single portrait remains of her. They say she was stunning! Especially her noble silver hair!”

Unfortunately, much of the ballroom had begun to subtly turn its attention to Larie. Many wore faint smirks shadowed by a veil of darkness—mockery just beneath the surface.

The more those venomous stares pierced her, the harder it became to breathe. Larie forced herself to remain composed.

This wasn’t new. She’d been through it before. Don’t waver.

“I heard she was more like a knight! Divine blessings don’t come to just anyone, after all.”

“Exactly. It was incredibly rare for a woman, wasn’t it?”

“Perhaps it was a blessing from the gods bestowed upon Laxtreen itself.”

As expected, the conversation turned toward the two “heroes” of the war.

And, as always, the story of heroes was used to insult Larie.

“That’s right. Beautiful, and also blessed by the gods with divine strength. I heard Count Ventus had eyes as brilliant as sapphires, too.”

The marchioness’s daughter, who had been quietly listening to the chatter, elegantly folded her fan.

Her smiling gaze finally turned to Larie.

“Truly noble figures—unlike certain others.”

The young ladies beside her followed her lead, lifting their fans to their lips while peering over at Larie.

Those crescent-moon eyes above the fans always frightened Larie. Every time they caught her in their sights, they shredded her spirit to pieces.

Lady Enviaji—the one leading the group—always steered the conversation skillfully. Many admired her gentle, beautiful appearance.

“How do you even endure that filth, Your Grace?”

She was also the one who stood beside Terian in the Tulip Palace garden that day.

The despair and shame Larie had felt then came flooding back all at once. Her mind froze as though she’d been doused with icy lake water.

Perhaps it was because of the conversation she’d overheard—whenever she faced Lady Enviaji, Larie felt herself shrink.

Especially after hearing rumors that the lady had once been considered Terian’s intended.

Though she had never meant to, in the end, Larie had taken the position that should have been hers.

Considering Terian’s well-known aversion to uncleanliness, the way he had stood close to Lady Enviaji that day made those rumors feel all too true.

The title of Grand Duchess weighed heavier by the day. Just bearing it felt like it might snap her neck.

Every time she recalled the two of them standing side by side, the guilt piercing her chest deepened.

Whether the ladies knew the storm roiling within her or not, they finally spoke.

“My, once again you’re gracing the wall so beautifully today, Lady Tromperie.”

“……”

It was ruthless mockery from the very beginning. Calling her “Lady Tromperie” instead of the Grand Duchess of Avnir was already insulting, and referring to her as a “flower of the wall” only twisted the knife.

“Hmm. What sort of information did you have to sell this time to afford that dress?”

“……”

Another lady spared no effort in jabbing at the Tromperie family’s reputation.

Beyond the insult itself, what truly made Larie anxious was the possibility that they’d noticed her dress had been reused from a previous ball and altered by her own hands.

Several others followed with similarly clichéd barbs.

Their faces were all decorated with pleasant smiles. Their voices weren’t even particularly loud—at a glance, it might’ve seemed like casual, friendly chatter.

Surrounded by fluttering fans, each more elegant than the last, Larie stood quietly the whole time.

“Mind your manners. How dare you act so rudely to the Grand Duchess of Avnir?”

Only after some time did Lady Enviaji step in, speaking in a sharp tone that didn’t match her sweet smile.

“Oh dear. Your Grace, please forgive our rudeness.”

One by one, the other ladies burst into tinkling laughter and dipped their heads as if it were all a game.

Her title was finally spoken properly, and loudly enough for others nearby to hear—clearly on purpose.

Just a little longer.