Chapter 4 – His and Her Affection (Which Was) (4)

What if I tell her everything?

But considering how he’s been disappointing Chloe lately, he felt that bringing up such foolish stories would only make her angrier, accusing him of deceiving her.

The way Chloe looked at him, in a way he had never seen before, was so painful.

Demetrian fiddled with his fingers again. Not that it particularly helped. After a long pause, he spoke with difficulty.

“You must be really confused… just give me a little time. Once everything is ready, I’ll explain everything.”

Just, for the time being, stay as you are. 

Demetrian swallowed those words in his heart.

‘A few months. It will really only take a few months.’

After that, everything would be settled before any signs could arise.

‘Then I can freely beg you to stay by my side.’

By then, I would be able to do my best. Visit whenever I want, search the entire western continent to give you something if I feel like it… My desires were many and deep, but for now…

‘For now, I just hope that by then, you don’t hate me, Loi.’

Even if Chloe didn’t know, he had done something wrong, and from the start, their relationship couldn’t be equal.

Demetrian looked at Chloe with anxious longing.

Chloe’s gaze still wandered, but her heart was unknowingly sinking.

‘I hope you don’t have to bear any hardship in my country.’

Why did her husband’s words from some time ago come to mind at such a moment?

‘Is it because Demi seems to be burdened with worries all by himself, like my husband?’

If her husband cherished her, perhaps Demetrian’s words came from a similar sentiment.

So, she couldn’t tell if her pounding heart was because of memories with her husband or because of Demetrian’s words.

Meanwhile, the discomfort arising from this situation also settled in her heart.

What is Demetrian to me? What do we expect from each other?

‘We are, after all…’

She tried to remain detached, but the ripples in her heart wouldn’t disappear.

“Well.”

No matter how hard she tried to cool her heart with harsh thoughts, it wasn’t easy.

In truth, she had never let him go from her heart for even a moment.

“I just hope whatever it is, it won’t be too late.”

Silence fell over the Lacroix carriage returning to the Count Palatine’s residence. Amidst the fresh spring flowers received from the Crevelle greenhouse, the silence was due to the Lacroix mother and daughter having exhausted their social energy for the day and the Countess being lost in thought.

The Countess of Lacroix was recalling the time when her daughter was made to leave the room, or rather, when she was forced to leave.

The conversation between the two noblewomen didn’t adhere to the unspoken rules of the social world. In other words, it was very direct. When the princess of Scerbagnol first set foot in the Gotiue social scene, a bond formed with the third princess of Lazure, who was yet to marry, promising to see each other often, and that bond had lasted over twenty years.

“I’m really curious today. What exactly are the Crevelle mother and son up to? Is that why you invited only Lacroix?”

“What do you mean, ‘up to’? That’s such a scary thing to say.”

The Duchess smiled with her eyes and set the teacup back on the saucer. Her gaze out the window soon lost the trace of laughter from just moments before.

“Do you like… stories of young love?”

“Well. That’s for them to handle.”

The Countess of Lacroix sensed an intention behind the words and responded sharply on purpose.

Considering her eldest son, who was somewhat passive in forming relationships due to his frail childhood, and her daughter, who lacked the courage to refuse a predetermined match, it wasn’t something to leave to them… But…

“Do you know when I was most thrilled while in my homeland?”

The Countess blinked at the unexpected question without responding. The Duchess continued, as if she hadn’t expected an answer.

“It was when guests came to the palace. Sometimes it was the head of a neutral knight order who had hunted monsters in the Gomber Mountains, sometimes a noble from the western continent leading a wealthy merchant group, or the successor of the Mage Tower. If by any chance I had a romance with them like in the stories, I wondered if I could leave the palace.”

A faint smile, suitable for a bygone memory, appeared on her lips as she spoke.

Listening to her, the Countess of Lacroix thought of herself when she first came to Gotiue as a young girl, and now as the wife of a man she loved, unable to leave his city. Who wouldn’t understand that sentiment?

“The last guest I welcomed was the imperial messenger who came to announce my engagement to the Duke. Even then, I was more excited about the idea of running away with that messenger than the news he brought. I haven’t seen him since coming to the empire, so he must have been some Sir from the social world.”

The Duchess’s sky-blue eyes, shining as if they would chill upon touch, turned to the Countess of Lacroix. Despite knowing each other for a long time, they weren’t close enough to share such personal thoughts.

“Having had a love marriage, you might not understand… but arranged marriages aren’t easily happy, you know?”

The Duchess’s unusual laughter softly echoed.

“How could I not know?”

The eldest daughter of the previous Duke of Lazure, the Countess of Lacroix’s eldest sister, was married to the desert nation of Etia, bordering Lazure. After raising her son to be a proper crown prince, she stayed in Lazure for one of the two months, citing the climate didn’t suit her. Her younger brother-in-law, Marquis Georges, stayed at a townhouse in Gotiue, while her younger sister spent her time leisurely at the marquisate.

The Countess of Lacroix’s face turned self-deprecating.

“I guess the Duke and I were good parents. My eldest son acts as if he has no regrets as long as he fulfills his duties.”

“So, are you encouraging my child to associate with a young man who has a betrothed?”

“I can help if Demi desires something for himself, more than for the family.”

“Isn’t that a promise?”

“That’s Crevelle’s business, not my son’s.”

“…Then what does our Loi become in all this?”

A faint smile appeared in the Duchess’s eyes as she looked at the Countess of Lacroix.

“That’s for Demi to persuade. What else can a mother do but occasionally create opportunities for him? I’ll give Demi a chance, and if he seizes it, I’ll support him.”

“…”

The Countess of Lacroix’s face hardened unpleasantly. She wasn’t unaware of the different winds blowing between the children lately. She knew how much the Duchess cherished Chloe and regretted Demetrian having a betrothed. But…

“Since he’s inexperienced in these matters, if there’s a place where Chloe might receive a marriage proposal… please wait a little. I just wanted to say that.”

Thinking of herself as the only mother who cherished her child, the Countess of Lacroix felt a headache coming on.

‘Did they think I stayed quiet because I didn’t know Loi liked him?’

The Countess of Lacroix wrapped her arm around her daughter’s shoulder. Her daughter, now an adult, would soon leave her embrace. Without forcing anything, she didn’t know when or how it would happen, but she couldn’t keep her forever.

Even if love determined the future, there would be suffering like hers, let alone in an arranged marriage… Expecting engagements with princes was just a pretense. The Count Palatine and Countess of Lacroix wished for their daughter to freely build a family with someone she loved, wherever her heart led her, and had shown no interest in any engagements so far.

‘Having been entangled in something strange for nearly twenty years…’

The Countess of Lacroix looked at her daughter, who gazed at her with a puzzled expression. Though an adult, she still seemed like a child in her eyes. The Countess gently tucked Chloe’s hair behind her ear.

“You know your happiness is the most important thing for me, right?”

“Of course.”

Hehe, Chloe laughed as she leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder.

Seeing her mother, who had been deep in thought with a serious expression, Chloe thought it must have been related to the conversation with the Duchess earlier. What had they talked about?

‘Lately, everyone keeps telling me to be happy.’

If they all felt this way, what were they thinking when they sent me to Scandar?

Looking up at her mother, who was lost in thought while holding her shoulder, Chloe recalled a night from the previous week.

As he did every week on Iron Day, Etienne, returning from the social club, surprisingly didn’t go straight to his room but came to Chloe’s bedroom on the opposite side of the same floor. Holding a bottle of wine, perhaps suggesting his sister should drink since he was drunk.

She was discussing future business with Mirabelle when he suddenly barged in, startling her.

‘They say you went out with the Young Duke a few days ago?’

‘Oh, um. Yeah.’

Did that become a rumor? 

Chloe, with an embarrassed expression, shrugged her shoulders. It was a bit chilly because they were on the balcony after Etienne said he wanted to smoke.

Watching her, Etienne smiled briefly and took a drag from his cigarette.

‘Promises between families, social appearances… they’re all fleeting.’

‘Did you realize something from encountering all sorts of things at the police department, Young Count Palatine?’

‘Whatever choice you make, just be happy. I’m sure our parents feel the same.’

‘If you’re drunk, go to sleep. Why the nagging, like you?’

Though she responded curtly out of awkwardness, hearing such cheesy words, Chloe thought Etienne was saying what he wanted to hear himself.

As far as Chloe knew, her brother had never been involved in marriage talks with any family’s young lady. Until he turned twenty-six, that is.

‘Did Etienne also need someone to tell him that back then?’