The first three years were not of his own will. All decisions were made by Adrian, and he was merely swept along.

The second three years were his own choice every single moment. He made the worst choices at every turn, eventually leading to the departure of the woman he had just met.

The reason the second three years were harder than the times he had risked his life was because he made every decision himself. He regretted all the actions and words he had given to her.

Guilt was a truly filthy feeling. He didn’t want to experience it again.

He couldn’t understand Adrian, who had been stuck in that small prison without resistance. Even when he heard Adrian’s words that it was his atonement for the sins he had committed against him, he scoffed. But now, he understood Adrian too. The three years he spent soullessly moving between the palace and his office were no different from being trapped in a prison without bars.

“It wouldn’t have mattered to me if it wasn’t Adrian who sold me into slavery, but you, Blair.”

“What……?”

“I wouldn’t have cared even if you had done worse to me.”

Blair looked at Cedric with a dumbfounded expression.

“Blair, I wasn’t angry because you sold me into slavery.”

“…….”

“I was angry because you married another man.”

Cedric continued to confess the truth. The real feelings he had kept from her all this time.

“When I arrived in the capital after the war, I went to your house first, and when I heard you were married, I lost it. When I came to my senses, I had slaughtered your servants.”

“…….”

“I couldn’t face my emotions. I lied to myself that I was angry because you betrayed me. That way, I rationalized doing things to you that I shouldn’t have. I thought it was okay to do so.”

“…….”

“I should have made it clear to you what made me angry. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to suffer from guilt.”

He spoke the truth in a low voice. Blair’s gaze dropped as his voice slightly trembled. Cedric’s fingertips were shaking.

My goodness. Is this man shaking right now?

Blair couldn’t believe what she was seeing and hearing. A man who seemed like he wouldn’t bleed even if he was pricked with a needle was unraveling the most despicable truths he had kept in his heart.

“I shouldn’t have done that to you back then.”

Blair felt all her strength suddenly leave her body.

Ah.

Cedric looked at her as she stared blankly into space with her mouth open. A shiver ran through Blair’s body. She didn’t care about anything else but the words she had just heard.

Thud. Tears began to fall drop by drop from Blair’s eyes, which had reddened without her knowing. It felt like lightning struck her.

‘I’ve been waiting for these words all this time.’

The tangled fates of her and Cedric, Adrian, and her parents. It was a complicated web of relationships, so entangled that it was unclear who to blame for anything. Blair always called it a ‘bad connection.’ She hoped it wasn’t her role to untangle the mess. She was tired. But this man cut through the tangled knots with a single stroke.

In truth, she wanted to hear these words from this man’s mouth. But she couldn’t ask for it.

Blair couldn’t forget the old slave certificate that Cedric had pulled out from his embrace. That horrible document bore her signature. She couldn’t forget leading him by the hand to the train. Even when Cedric told her she was just deceived, it didn’t fade from her memory. She felt she had a share in his misfortune. That’s why she couldn’t say the words she wanted to hear from him.

But secretly, she was always waiting and waiting for those words.

When Cedric concluded that the cause of all the terrible things he did to her was his jealousy, it felt like a white lump that had always been deep in her heart disappeared.

“Sob…….”

Moisture began to gather in her blue eyes. Cedric approached in panic as Blair suddenly started crying. He grabbed her forearms.

“……Sob,”

“Blair.”

Blair raised her hand to cover her mouth. She was worried that her crying would wake up the sleeping child. She tried her best to keep quiet, but it was not enough. She couldn’t stop the rising emotions and sobs from leaking out.

“Blair, it’s all my fault.”

“……Sob.”

Cedric wiped away Blair’s tears with his thumb as they streamed down her face.

“Everything that happened between us is my fault.”

“…….”

“Blair, please. Can’t we make it work?”

Cedric pleaded with a desperate voice. It seemed he took her tears as rejection.

“Can’t you accept me?”

Blair didn’t respond. She just sobbed with her head bowed down. Cedric embraced her, repeatedly patting and stroking her thin back.

Knock knock.

A while later, Theo knocked on the door, informing them of an urgent meeting, and Cedric left the room.

The next morning, after hearing from Theo that everyone in the village had returned to their homes from the town hall, Blair also returned home. As soon as she got home, she put Alvin to bed first. It had been a long night, but fortunately, the child slept comfortably. His body temperature had returned to normal.

……Sigh.

Blair sighed deeply and lay down on the bed to sleep. She needed to catch up on sleep, but strangely, she couldn’t fall asleep. Her mind was busy with all the things Cedric had said the night before.

……Let’s sleep first and think about it when we wake up.

She changed positions several times trying to fall asleep. Her body was tired, but her eyes wouldn’t close easily. Lying in bed, Blair looked at the wooden dresser. The top drawer contained documents.

There was still a week left before Cedric’s departure.

* * *

A week later, Blair opened her store. Seeing the neighboring stores starting to operate normally again made her think it was time for her to do the same. Little Port had returned to its peaceful state as if the night bombing had been a lie.

“I don’t need to go to the daycare today?”

“Yes. You won’t go for a while. You can sleep more, Alvin.”

“Okay.”

Blair closed Alvin’s bedroom door and came out. The daycare reopened, but still feeling uneasy, Blair decided to keep Alvin close for a while longer. It seemed the child was happy with his rare daytime nap.

When she went down to the store, Kay and Anna had already arrived and were preparing for opening. As Blair removed the cloth covering the goods and prepared various things, Kay said,

“Boss. The imperial army is set to depart from the southern port at 12 o’clock.”

Blair paused while removing the cloth.

“……So?”

Blair responded in an indifferent voice. Today was the day the imperial army departed for the battlefield of Litunia.

“…….”

She busily moved her hands again, but Blair somehow couldn’t focus. In fact, she had only one thought all week. Cedric may have been busy, so he hadn’t shown his face at Blair’s shop. Strangely, she was more nervous not seeing him around.

“Excuse me, boss. You know that taking the back mountain to the southern port is faster, right?”

This time, Anna added.

“……Sigh,”

A sigh reflexively escaped from Blair’s mouth. Kay and Anna seemed to find Blair’s love life very thrilling. They were just like twenty-year-old girls.

“Focus on work instead of unnecessary things when you come to work.”

“Yes.”

Kay and Anna quietly responded but exchanged mischievous glances with each other. Clang. The bell hanging on the shop door rang, and the first customer of the day entered.

It seemed like she was returning to her usual routine, receiving a few customers throughout the morning.

“…….”

Before she knew it, the clock hanging inside the store was nearing noon. Blair hadn’t realized that she had been looking at the clock more often than usual.

The shop was unusually empty. It was natural. Recently, the customers who mainly boosted the shop’s sales were navy personnel, and today was the day they were setting sail to the battlefield.

Blair repeatedly looked at the only thing in this quiet shop that was making a ticking sound. A storm brewed in her head as she blankly stared at the marvel of civilization. After some time passed, Blair turned towards where Kay was and finally parted her lips that had been sealed for a long time.

“……Hey Kay, I’m sorry.”

Blair started speaking with a look of embarrassment, and Kay immediately responded as if she had been waiting.

“Yes, boss!”

Kay’s eyes sparkled brightly, and her voice was much higher.

“Boss, it’s the back mountain. The back mountain. Okay?”

Anna, who had been sweeping a corner, suddenly appeared and chimed in.

Blair went upstairs to get some documents she had stored in a drawer and then burst out of the shop door running. Behind the running Blair, the high voices of her employees followed.

“……Boss, run!”

“We’ll take good care of the shop!”

The shortcut to the port was densely wooded. Blair ran down the trail with a paper in one hand. The green forest shook on both sides of her rapidly moving sight. Her mind was still full of thoughts.

‘Is what I’m doing right?’

But more than that concern,

‘Today might be the last time I see Cedric.’

was a stronger thought.

* * *

At the southern port of Little Port. Soldiers who had completed the launching ceremony began boarding the naval ship.

Cedric occasionally looked towards the edge of the village while talking with military officers. Now, when the clock pointed exactly at the hour, it was time to set sail. They expected the war to last three years, but who could know for sure? Not even gods could predict the direction of the war.

That’s when it happened. From afar, a blonde woman was running towards the ship.

“……Blair.”

Even if Theo hadn’t called out to inform Cedric, he already knew. He had never failed to recognize her.

Blair approached him.

“……Huff, huff…….”

She had been running all the way here, gasping for breath. Blair leaned on her knees to catch her breath. Her slender body heaved greatly.

“Blair,”

It didn’t take long for him to notice that Blair had a paper in her hand. She handed him the document that she had signed.

“……Here.”

Cedric took it.