chapter 1. belated regret

The memory of that day when she betrayed everyone and chose Rondimio followed her like original sin.

Louise woke up from a dream where she was being pointed at by nobles and pelted with stones by imperial citizens, sweating coldly and moaning softly.

A depraved person who shared her body every night with the enemy who killed her parents.

A notorious villainess who sold her country because she was blinded by love.

A witch who knew nothing of human decency, who not only gave her parents’ lives to their enemy but also turned a blind eye to her siblings being abused by that same enemy’s hands.

“Hnngh……”

Louise opened her eyes and tried to get up from the bed but sat back down weakly. Lately, drowsiness frequently visited her, and her body felt as heavy as cotton soaked with water.

The cold wind blowing through the window, left open to cool the heat she had shared with him all night, brought a bone-chilling coldness through her thin indoor dress.

But Louise stood up firmly. She left the imperial bedroom and walked toward the central hall of the imperial palace.

‘What should I do…. Could I possibly create an opportunity to escape like this?’

The brilliant golden imperial throne, and sitting upon it, the new emperor of the Araceli Empire, Rondimio von Derl Araceli.

She could have given anything for her beloved, but she never thought it would be the throne of Araceli….

Louise, recalling that lovely deceiver, stood blankly in front of the door, unable to enter the central hall of the imperial palace.

She felt guilty. Toward her parents who met their deaths at Rondimio’s hands and her brothers who suffered harsh abuse from him. Yet she couldn’t erase her love for him.

“Urgh!”

“Princess!”

As she suddenly felt nauseous and covered her mouth, staggering, the imperial physician who had been following Louise rushed to support her.

She simply couldn’t bear the disgusting smell wafting from the central hall where he was.

Had he whipped her brother in the underground prison again today? Or perhaps stabbed him with a sharply honed sword….

Reflexively placing her hand on her lower abdomen, Louise looked at the imperial physician supporting her. The only person who had discovered the cause of Louise’s unusual symptoms today.

‘Your Highness the princess is… currently with child.’

Upon hearing this joyous news, Louise laughed because she couldn’t bring herself to cry.

She couldn’t freely rejoice about the child she and Rondimio had long wished for.

Long ago, when she purely liked Rondimio.

When she felt compassion for him imprisoned in the underground dungeon, suffering harsh abuse from her father, and eventually gave him her sincere heart.

There seemed to have been a time when she desperately wanted a child resembling Rondimio and herself, but certainly not now.

Why did the child she had desperately wished for arrive only now? Only after her loved ones had all met their deaths at Rondimio’s hands.

The nightmares that had followed her like original sin had been telling her that she should never have loved Rondimio, that she was deeply wronging her brothers who were being harshly abused by him.

She hated herself for hesitating and not being able to sort out her feelings for Rondimio.

Rationally, even considering basic human decency, it was natural not to love someone who was practically her enemy….

Yet she hadn’t sorted out those feelings even by the time his child had entered her womb.

“Not princess, but Her Majesty the Empress. You may make any mistakes in front of me, but… you must never make mistakes in front of His Majesty.”

“I’ll correct myself…. As promised, I’ll keep the news of Your Majesty’s pregnancy secret from His Majesty the emperor, so please be careful, Your Majesty.”

“Yes. I’ll be careful too.”

Louise smiled bitterly at the imperial physician. She couldn’t let one of the few people who treated her kindly die at Rondimio’s hands.

After all, Rondimio was a notorious tyrant who easily killed anyone he disliked even slightly, except for his beloved Louise.

Louise straightened her waist and smoothed out the wrinkled hem of her dress that had crumpled while she was sitting. She couldn’t let Rondimio discover that she was carrying his child.

If Rondimio found out about this fact, he would never let her go.

“And regarding what I mentioned earlier, have you had any change of mind?”

“I’m sorry…. But I have no intention of removing the child. I don’t think I ever will.”

What the imperial physician had suggested to Louise was taking medicine to forcibly harm the child growing in her womb.

It would be right to follow the imperial physician’s advice, as on the day Rondimio discovered her pregnancy, it would become even harder to leave his embrace under the pretext of the child’s safety.

Louise gently stroked her still-flat belly while avoiding the imperial physician’s gaze. Still, despite everything, she didn’t want to hate the innocent child.

If Rondimio, who always loved her despite being the child of a father who had long inflicted cruel abuse on him, could love her, how could she hate the child in her womb?

“Still, if by chance you change your mind and wish to secretly remove the child in your womb… please let me know.”

Seeing the empress unwavering despite persistent persuasion, the imperial physician disappeared down the empty imperial palace corridor.

Perhaps because she was acting too calmly for someone carrying the child of the enemy who killed her parents. Every day, the imperial physician’s face was filled with anger-like questions.

But Louise couldn’t resolve the imperial physician’s doubts.

The child in her womb was born from the love between herself and Rondimio. She didn’t have the confidence to tell those who treated her kindly that she, who had been forced into marriage with the emperor, actually loved the emperor.

That the emperor had never forced himself on her. Louise ignored the tingling in one side of her chest from the feeling of guilt and pushed open the door to the central hall where Rondimio was.

She wanted to throw up immediately from the smell of blood that touched her nose, but Louise endured it.

She couldn’t undo her past love for him.

Her parents who met their deaths at his hands and her brothers who were being abused by him. Even the proof of that love growing in her womb…

“I missed you, Your Majesty.”

My lovely deceiver, someday I’ll escape from your embrace.

Reminding herself that she must no longer love him, Louise smiled brightly at Rondimio.

“Louise. Where have you been without me?”

Rondimio, who had been sitting high on the emperor’s seat, regally cleaning his blood-stained sword, jumped up and ran to Louise as soon as she pushed open the door to the central hall.

In the process, droplets of blood from the sharply honed sword scattered in all directions. Staining the hem of Louise’s beige dress with spots of red.

“Just… I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I was resting in the bedroom. I’m fine now.”

Suddenly embraced in Rondimio’s large and affectionate arms, Louise had to lie.

Rondimio tilted his head, not seeming to understand Louise’s words as he sheathed his sword in the scabbard tied at his waist.

“You… aren’t feeling well?”

Louise was looking at the floor, afraid he might discover what was in her mind.

In a relationship where they pressed bare skin together every day, it was impossible not to know each other’s physical condition….

The reason she had asked the imperial physician for an examination, unlike her usual self, was because of her subtly poor physical condition and because she hadn’t had her monthly bleeding for too long.

Since she first started her monthly bleeding, the imperial physicians had all said she had a body that would find it difficult to conceive, so until recently, she hadn’t hesitated to have frequent relations with Rondimio.

Had she known this would happen, she would have occasionally refused Rondimio who visited the empress’s palace every night. But contrary to these thoughts, strangely, it was difficult to refuse Rondimio’s requests.

“It was nothing serious, so you don’t need to worry.”

His touch is always affectionate only to me.

In Rondimio’s arms, Louise naturally told another lie to him. She felt no guilt because Rondimio had told her too many lies until now.

The truth is I have a child in my womb, but if you, Rondimio, knew this fact, I think you would take even the unborn child hostage, so I can’t tell you.

Today too, you, Rondimio, must have imprisoned my brother in the underground dungeon and abused him, just as my father did to you.

“Louise?”

“Urgh…!”

With the same hand that gently strokes my hair.

When she was in his arms, the disgusting smell that had wafted outside the central hall became even stronger.

Feeling nauseous, Louise covered her mouth. Seeing this, Rondimio completely lifted Louise into his arms.

“You still seem unwell. I wish you had gone to see the physician with me. Are you still not able to trust me?”

“That’s… not it. The smell of blood from Your Majesty’s outer garment is a bit… difficult for me.”

“Ah, had I known we would meet here, I would have bathed in the fragrance you like. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.”

After placing Louise on the imperial throne, the only chair in the central hall of the imperial palace, he threw off his outer coat, vest, and the sword and whip hanging at his waist.

Seeing the whip at his waist today, I know for sure that he abused my brother.

There hadn’t been a time when Rondimio didn’t smell of blood. Nor had the sharply honed sword and whip ever left his waist.

“Your Majesty. What did you do today? You seem very pleased.”

If only you, Rondimio, would show even a fraction of the love you have for me as mercy toward my brother.

After killing all my parents. After killing all my parents’ loyal subjects.