Suspecting the father of the child in her womb was something she hadn’t imagined at all.
Louise became a little frightened by Rondimio’s emotion, whether it was obsession or possessiveness, that coolly enveloped her entire body.
And the way he was acting like a beast rejoicing that his seed had been conceived.
Even though this wasn’t the first time Rondimio had behaved this way, was she only now reacting sensitively because she had decided to stop loving him?
‘My lovely Louise, you know well that I did it because I love you.’
Rondimio’s voice, which always whispered that he loved her, buzzed in her head.
I know how much you love me, Rondimio.
But now I think that love wasn’t for me, but tailored to you.
“As much as Your Majesty loves me, I love Your Majesty too, so there’s no need for such suspicion.”
For the past three years, I’ve thought only of you, Rondimio, kissed you and mixed bodies with you every night, but even so, shouldn’t you refrain from even mentioning the word ‘suspicion’ to me?
From the moment I met you, my entire world was directed only toward you, and I never even considered another man.
Why can’t you believe in my sincerity when I gave that night entirely to you in the cold underground prison on the night of my coming-of-age ceremony?
Have you noticed that I’ve resolved to no longer love you? Is that why you’re suspicious of me?
There was much Louise wanted to say and ask him, but she kept her mouth shut.
Anyway, she no longer cared about Rondimio’s feelings. It didn’t matter whether Rondimio doubted her love or not.
Louise suppressed the inexplicable sorrow that choked her throat. It seemed a little difficult because she was trying to leave someone she had loved for a long time.
If she quietly stayed by his side like this, then gave the child to him and left, she could completely escape from these nauseating things like love.
Of course, assuming she could escape from him.
“Still, I’m glad I wasn’t infertile as people gossip.”
Louise, who had slightly distanced herself from Rondimio’s broad shoulder, placed her hand on one of his cheeks and met his eyes.
His red eyes were filled with Louise’s icy blue ones.
Only, they had completely lost their original color.
“They said you had difficulty conceiving, not that you couldn’t conceive. Nevertheless, the fact that it took three years… It must be my fault, not yours.”
“How could that be Your Majesty’s fault….”
Her heart ached a little as Rondimio kept blaming himself for things that weren’t his fault.
She knew that the child in her womb was at least her own fault.
How much effort Rondimio had made every night to get her pregnant. And that there was nothing wrong with his body.
Louise knew Rondimio’s physical condition best. Even when they were young, she had barely prevented her family from forcibly giving him drugs and erecting his c*ck to sexually abuse him out of curiosity about his physical abilities.
It was embarrassing that she kept trying to protect Rondimio, whom she had resolved not to love anymore, but she definitely felt sorry for not being able to conceive a child until now.
Since marrying him, she had been constantly pressured by the empire’s nobles to get pregnant.
As the beloved princess of the former emperor and empress whom Rondimio had killed, Louise herself was the legitimacy of the imperial throne that Rondimio had usurped.
However, there was no problem in maintaining the throne according to protocol even if Rondimio, who had risen to emperor from the position of the princess’s consort, demoted Louise from empress to imperial consort or concubine.
The anti-imperial faction that had helped Rondimio had changed the law that way three years ago.
They intended to promote Louise, whom Rondimio loved, to empress, then find each of Louise’s small weaknesses to bring her down from the position of empress and make their own daughters the empress.
“I should have killed those noble pests who were making life difficult for you, Louise. They made you suffer a lot, didn’t they?”
Rondimio, who had been quietly leaning his cheek against her hand for a while, knelt below the bed and lightly lifted Louise, placing her on the bed.
She wondered what he was trying to do, but it seemed he wanted to put his ear to the child in her womb, which was still only the size of a bean.
“It wasn’t difficult…. I need to listen to the words of the nobles who make up the empire.”
“But I told you. I would eliminate anything that makes life difficult for you. I couldn’t implement it because it was a bit troublesome to eliminate some noble pests, but….”
Louise blankly stared at Rondimio, who was kneeling and bending down to her waist.
Sometimes he really seems like a five-year-old child. Taking everything he wants, rejecting and refusing everything he hates.
Even though it was because of those noble pests you mention that you were able to ascend to the throne.
“I’ve always made the best choices for you, Louise, and I don’t regret it.”
“You don’t… regret it?”
“Yes. Do you regret it, Louise…?”
Yes. I regret it. I regret it a lot.
Louise wanted to say this but suppressed it by tightly clenching both fists that were holding the hem of her dress.
She wanted to say that she didn’t regret loving Rondimio because it was true, but those words simply wouldn’t come out.
Feeling as if her mind would become strange if she discussed “regret” with Rondimio, Louise quickly changed the subject.
For instance, about the child in her womb who was already receiving plenty of Rondimio’s affection.
Contrary to her expectations, she was surprised by how much interest Rondimio showed in the child in her womb. Had she believed too firmly that Louise herself was the only one Rondimio loved?
It was just as well since she would hand the child over to Rondimio as soon as it was born anyway.
Louise was trying her hardest not to become attached to the child in her womb, but contradictorily, she didn’t want the child to grow up without being loved.
So if, really if a situation of choice came, she was even considering raising the child herself.
The child in her womb was completely innocent. She didn’t want an unborn child to suffer because of its parents’ mistakes.
The child would probably resemble Rondimio, so it would be a beautiful child, and since Louise herself had loved Rondimio for a long time, it would be quite easy to love the child.
“Would Your Majesty prefer the child in my womb to be a girl or a boy? Or… twins?”
“Hmm….”
Despite her hesitation that the question might be too early, Rondimio began to seriously consider it.
Having been abandoned by his family as a child and imprisoned in a foreign country’s underground prison where he suffered severe abuse, Rondimio would likely want to create a complete family of his own.
While waiting for Rondimio’s answer, Louise seriously considered matters related to the child in her womb for the first time.
Not concerns like whether to give birth to the child or not, or whether she could hand the child to Rondimio and leave immediately after giving birth, but solely concerns about the child.
She didn’t want twins because they would be difficult to deliver.
She didn’t particularly care whether it was a daughter or a son, but if possible, wouldn’t a son who could inherit the throne be more helpful to Rondimio?
Of course, after she left, Rondimio might meet a better woman, have beautiful children, and form a happy family, but that seemed highly unlikely.
It seemed more probable that Rondimio would firmly hold the child she bore in his arms and insist on passing the throne only to this child.
“I would slightly prefer a son….”
“I want a beautiful daughter who resembles half of you, Louise, and half of me.”
At that moment, Louise and Rondimio’s voices overlapped.
Each wanting a son and a daughter. In truth, the child’s gender didn’t matter much.
It wasn’t something they could choose anyway, and what was most important was that Louise safely carried the child until then.
Honestly, Louise wasn’t very confident.
Despite having a body prone to losing children, she was constantly scheming to free her brothers from the underground prison and leave Rondimio’s side.
“You know well that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a son or a daughter. No matter how many children come to us, I will love you, Louise, first and foremost.”
“Shh. The child will hear everything.”
When Louise covered her flat stomach and made a gesture to be quiet, Rondimio smiled softly, finding it amusing.
But both Louise and Rondimio knew that Rondimio’s words were sincere.
Could a child who comes to us like this grow well like children in other families? Already, the mother who will give birth to the child is only thinking about running away.
“I hope we can hold a banquet soon to celebrate the child’s arrival.”
Though she felt sorry for the unborn child, Louise had no plans to withdraw her thoughts.
You’ve suffered so much until now. I don’t want to stay by Rondimio’s side anymore.
Even if she ended up living alone in a deep forest with no one around, she no longer wanted to be entangled in emotions like guilt or love.
Louise planned to secretly seek out nobles who had been loyal to the former emperor and ask for their help.
She had heard there was a group of nobles trying to drive out Rondimio and install her brothers from the underground prison as emperor of Araceli, so if she helped them, she could easily receive this much assistance.
Even if it meant pointing a knife at Rondimio whom she had loved, she wouldn’t back down.