Chapter 1.8

“Emma! There you are!”  

“…Vigo?”  

The man driving the wagon got down from the coachman’s seat. He was a familiar face to Yvonne, a supplier who delivered food to the Rivette estate.  

“Get on. I’ll take you to the next village.” 

“Are you sure it’s alright?”  

“Of course. I was heading that way anyway.”  

“But what if the master finds out…” 

“Don’t worry about it. Just get on! Yvonne, you too!”  

“Yes…!”  

Yvonne helped Emma onto the wagon. Leaning weakly against the side of the wagon, Emma murmured softly.  

“Thank you for giving us a ride. But are you really sure it’s okay?”  

“This road leads to a village I frequently visit. Whether or not I gave a ride to two people leaving Rivette, the master won’t find out.”  

“Even so…”  

“Emma, do you remember seven years ago when you defended me? Everyone accused me of swapping out good meat for cheap cuts and pocketing the difference. Even the late master was about to throw me out.”  

Vigo continued in a calm tone.  

“You were the only one who believed me to the end. You even found evidence to prove my innocence.”  

“That was… something I had to do. Vigo, you’re such an honest man.”

“But back then, you were the only one who believed in me. Thanks to you, my family has been able to live without worry for decades. I was even able to be a father I wasn’t ashamed of when my son got married.”  

“……”  

“You’re my benefactor. I can’t just turn a blind eye. If anything, I’m sorry I can only do this much for you.”  

“……No, this is more than enough.”  

“Well, that’s a relief. If you look around, you’ll find some blankets in the back. It’ll get colder when night falls, so make sure to cover up. I also packed some medicine, so take it if you need it.”  

As Vigo had said, there were plenty of blankets and some medicine in the back of the wagon. Emma and Yvonne expressed their gratitude and were able to lie down for a while.  

The pain subsided, likely thanks to some painkillers. Only then were the two able to think more clearly about their situation.  

“By the way, where are you planning to go? Do you have a place in mind?”  

“Well, I’m not sure.”  

“Yvonne, what about you?”  

“I don’t really know either… Ah.”  

“……?”  

“Now that I think about it, there’s one place. I’m not sure if they’d take me in, though…”  

“Where is it?”  

“My mother’s twin sister lives in Verno. I haven’t received any letters since, but I think she might still be at that address.”  

“Did you memorize the address?”  

“…She’s my mother’s only sibling, so yes.”  

In truth, Yvonne had memorized it when she first decided to escape Philip. She thought that if she begged for help, promising to repay them later, she might receive assistance.  

“Verno? Where is that?”  

“From what Mirabelle told me, it’s a village in the north-central region. There’s a river called the Seine nearby.”  

“Oh, the Seine! I know it! Wait a second! If it’s near the Seine, that’s completely on the opposite side of here! Did Mirabelle really come all the way from that far to get married?”  

“She said she followed her husband. Apparently, the late master brought her here, recognizing her skills in horse management.”  

“I see. But it’s such a faraway place… Are you sure you’ll be able to make it in your condition?”  

“After resting a bit, we can take a train. I heard there’s a train station in Valence.”  

“Do you even know how much a train ticket costs? From what I’ve heard, it’s about 10 shekels or so. That’s roughly a month’s salary for us.”  

“Is it really that expensive…?”  

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve set aside some money just in case.”  

Emma interrupted Yvonne. Hearing her words, Yvonne realized that Emma had prepared for this situation to some extent.  

She had hidden money on her person, anticipating they might be cast out.  

“So, you’re planning to go to Verno?”  

“I think so. It seems better to seek help from a relative than to go somewhere completely unfamiliar.”  

“That’s not a bad idea.”  

“Indeed. Emma, you don’t have any relatives nearby either, do you?”  

“Both my parents were only childs. I have no one.”  

“Then we should head there. I hope you arrive safely and settle down well.”  

Vigo dropped them off at the next village before returning to Rivette. Thankfully, the neighboring village was beyond Philip’s reach.  

Emma and Yvonne were able to pay a small amount for a warm meal and a place to sleep. Afterward, they bought proper medicine to treat their injuries.  

“……So, are you really going to Verno?”  

“If it’s alright with you, Head Maid.”  

“First of all, let’s correct how you address me. How long are you going to keep calling me Head Maid? I’m no longer the Head Maid of the Rivette estate.”  

“You’ll always be the Head Maid to me.”  

“Other people will find it strange. Just call me Emma.”  

“I’m more used to calling you Head Maid for now. I’ll try to adjust gradually.”  

“Alright. As for going to Verno, I don’t mind. We’ve been cast out, so wherever we go, it’ll be the same.”  

“……I’m sorry. It’s all because of me.”  

Yvonne bit her lip tightly. Yes, it was all her fault. She should’ve stopped Emma from switching the barley bundle. She should’ve told her there was no need to help.  

This was her misfortune alone. Emma didn’t need to be dragged into this hell with her.  

“Yvonne.”  

“……” 

“There aren’t many adults who can ignore a crying child.”  

“But I’m not a child.”  

“To me, you’re still a child.”  

Yvonne felt tears welling up again. Emma had said there weren’t many adults who could ignore a crying child, but Yvonne knew better. Most adults had no choice but to pass by.  

That’s what being an adult was. With so many responsibilities, they barely managed to take care of themselves, let alone stop for a crying child.  

People grew colder over time. Even those who started out kind eventually became hardened. That’s why Yvonne was so grateful and guilty about Emma’s kindness.  

If it weren’t for her, Emma would still be living well as the Head Maid of the Rivette estate.  

“So, what will you do?”  

“If you’re asking about my plans, I intend to find work in Verno. If I work diligently, I might get a recommendation letter, and perhaps I could work for a noble family again.”  

“While carrying a child?”  

“Ah…”  

Yvonne belatedly realized what Emma was asking. She wasn’t asking about her plans. She was asking what she intended to do about the child she was carrying.  

Unconsciously, Yvonne placed a hand over her lower abdomen. Though there was a child inside her, her stomach was still flat under her palm. Her chest felt slightly tender, but there were no obvious signs.  

So, it didn’t feel real. That she was pregnant. That she had been cast out because of it.  

“I know I should… get rid of it…”  

“……”  

“But thinking of it as that beast’s child is horrifying… I tried to get rid of it, but… it survived. And now, should I get rid of it again? Is that okay? I’m scared.”  

Tears began to pool in Yvonne’s eyes. At just twenty years old, she was technically an adult but still very young. She was confused and scared about so many things.  

Seeing her like this, Emma let out a bitter smile. With age, one could sometimes sense glimpses of the future. And in Yvonne’s case, Emma could see it clearly.  

If she had the child, her future would be grim. She would be tied down at a young age and likely wear herself out early.  

Reality was cruel like that. But Emma couldn’t keep such truths to herself. After some thought, she spoke.  

“If you’re pregnant, even if you find a job, you won’t last long. Your body will soon become heavy, and you won’t be able to do anything. You’ll have to rest.”  

“That’s true, but…”  

“If you have the child alone, people’s judgment won’t be kind. Your options will narrow even further. Few men like women with children.”  

“I’m not planning to marry…”  

“That’s something you can’t be certain of. Besides, you’ve already taken medicine once. You know better than anyone how strong that medicine was. It’s a miracle you survived. Even if the child is born, it’s unlikely to be healthy.”  

Emma sighed briefly and looked Yvonne straight in the eye.  

“Bringing a frail child into the world and devoting your life to it would be a waste of your youth and beauty. It’s too much of a sacrifice.”  

“…I’ll think about it a little more.”  

“Do that. But remember this: while the child is precious, the most precious thing in your world is you.”  

“Yes…”

Emma’s advice left Yvonne unable to sleep easily, lost in deep thought. She found herself absentmindedly touching her flat lower abdomen.  

‘The child…’  

As a child, she had vaguely thought about having children someday.  

But she had always imagined it would be with someone she loved. She never thought things would turn out like this, and now everything felt chaotic.  

‘If only…’  

She wished the child would simply die on its own. Although the child had survived even the medicine, the possibility of it dying naturally seemed slim. Yet, she hoped for it, so she wouldn’t have to make the decision herself.  

It was a shameful thought to even voice, but the idea kept resurfacing in her mind.  

At the end of the long night, Yvonne fell asleep clutching her abdomen.  

After days of contemplation, Yvonne decided to take medicine before boarding the train to Verno.  

In villages large enough to have train stations, there were often brothels operating discreetly, and medicine for their needs was commonly traded. Officially, the Catholic doctrine forbade abortion, but the reality was different.  

As Emma had said, Yvonne couldn’t raise and care for this child. Since she had done it once, the second time might be easier. Having made her decision, she stroked her abdomen and murmured inwardly,  

‘Little one… It’s better to die than to have a mother like me…’  

She pretended it was for the child’s sake, but she knew it was a selfish act of penance. Still, without doing this, she felt she wouldn’t be able to endure.  

It was during a difficult journey, plagued by severe morning sickness. Yvonne suddenly noticed that her nausea had stopped.  

The abrupt end to her morning sickness felt strange and unsettling, but she didn’t try to investigate further.  

Before she even reached the village of Valence, where the train station was located, her skirt became stained with crimson blood.  

She was hemorrhaging.