Chapter 1.9

Yvonne and Emma immediately sought out a doctor upon arriving in the village. Seeing the blood-soaked woman, the doctor quickly finished attending to urgent patients and examined Yvonne.  

After losing a significant amount of blood, she eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. When she awoke, the first person she saw was Emma.  

“Yvonne… Are you okay?”  

“Yes…” 

Yvonne closed her mouth. She didn’t need to ask to know.  

The child was gone.  

Still, she wanted confirmation.  

“Is the baby… gone?”  

Her voice was dry and sounded calm at first glance. But Emma knew better than anyone that Yvonne was trembling inside.  

“Emma…”  

“……”  

“My… my baby…”  

“Rest for now.”  

That was all Emma could say. Her soothing touch made Yvonne swallow her tears, only to let them flow freely when she was alone.  

Yvonne suffered greatly afterward. The pain was similar to what she had felt when she had taken the medicine before, but it seemed even worse this time.  

Was this punishment for wishing the baby would die on its own? Was I being punished for such cruel thoughts?  

The physical pain was unbearable, but the emotional anguish—the sense of loss and torment—was even greater.  

While Yvonne writhed in pain, Emma met with the doctor to discuss her symptoms and treatment.  

After several days, Yvonne finally managed to get back on her feet. Having cleaned herself thoroughly in the morning, she left a note for Emma saying she would step out for a while and left the inn.  

Emma, having served as a head maid for many years, could read and write to some extent, which made this possible.  

The first thing Yvonne did upon stepping outside was to visit a jeweler and sell the onyx ring Philip had given her.  

The ring, which had been so difficult to remove before, now slipped off easily. In fact, she had noticed it could come off since being cast out of Rivette, but she had kept it on, intending to sell it for living expenses if necessary.  

The silver used in the ring wasn’t particularly valuable, but the jeweler appraised the black onyx as being in excellent condition and offered her one silver mina for it.  

Having lived frugally her entire life, Yvonne wasn’t familiar with jewelry prices, but she nodded at the unexpectedly generous offer.  

The jeweler tried to give her a large silver coin, but Yvonne asked for it to be exchanged into sixty shekels, taking the smaller coins instead.  

The spot where the ring had been felt empty. She had worn it for just over a month, and yet it had left a reddish mark. It was as if the ring was a deep trace, much like her lost child. But both were things that would heal over time.  

Yvonne went to the train station and bought a ticket for Verno, departing in two days in the morning.  

The train station, which she was visiting for the first time, was large and noisy, making her feel frightened. Still, she managed to stand in line and purchase her ticket.  

As Vigo had warned, the train ticket was indeed expensive. He had mentioned it would cost ten shekels, but when she bought it, it turned out to be twelve shekels per person, totaling twenty-four shekels.  

Her hands trembled as she handed over three months’ worth of wages, but she felt a sense of peace when she finally held the ticket.  

Afterward, she bought some simple groceries and stopped by a flower shop to purchase a small bouquet of baby’s breath mixed with calla lilies.  

She had wanted to buy lilies, but they cost four shekels per stem, making them unaffordable. Clearly, they weren’t flowers commonly used outside noble households.  

When she returned to the inn, Yvonne was greeted by Emma, who had been waiting for her. Emma looked relieved to see Yvonne in her rare, tidy appearance.  

When Emma saw the train ticket Yvonne handed her, her eyes widened in surprise.  

“Yvonne… How did you manage to buy this?”  

“I sold the ring the master gave me. It turned out to be more valuable than I expected. I received one silver mina for it.”  

“Ah, that ring… It’s good you got a fair price for it. The jeweler seems to be quite honest.”  

“That’s fortunate. I was prepared to use the gold coin if necessary.”  

“…Gold coin?”  

Emma looked at Yvonne with confusion.  

Yvonne confessed honestly. She revealed that she had a gold coin given to her as payment by the third son of the Conrad family. It was such a large sum that she had hidden it by sewing it into the padding of her corset.  

She also mentioned that, by chance, the corset she had worn on the day she was cast out was the one with the hidden gold coin.  

“So, there’s no need to worry about money for now.”  

“That’s fortunate, but… I hope you won’t need to use it.”  

Emma frowned deeply. Her genuine disgust on Yvonne’s behalf made the latter smile faintly.  

“What’s with the bouquet?”  

“Oh… I happened to see a flower shop on the way. I thought it would look nice as decoration, so I bought it.”  

Yvonne tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, hiding the bouquet behind her back. Emma didn’t press her further about it.  

Later, after finishing their meal together, Yvonne suggested they go out and buy clothes, now that she had money. She pulled Emma along to shop again.  

Since Verno was quite far away, the fashion there might be different, but Yvonne insisted that they needed clothes, saying it was better to have at least one outfit. Emma reluctantly agreed and bought some clothes.  

After returning to the inn with their purchases, Yvonne organized her belongings and prepared to step out again before sunset, wearing her bonnet.  

“Where are you going now?”  

“I just want to take a walk.”  

“I’ll come with you.”  

“No, it’s fine. I can go alone…”  

“I want to take a walk before bed too.”  

Emma put on her bonnet, ready to follow Yvonne. Seeing this, Yvonne hesitated before speaking.  

“Emma, I’m not actually going for a walk.”  

“I know. You’re heading to the cemetery, aren’t you?”  

“H-How did you…?”  

Emma silently gestured toward the bouquet Yvonne had tried to hide. Despite her efforts to conceal it, it had been obvious.

Emma’s words struck a chord with Yvonne, who had been trying to hide her intentions.  

“I thought you wanted to decorate with the flowers, perhaps placing them in a vase. But you didn’t. If calla lilies aren’t for decoration, there’s only one place they’re used.”  

“Oh…”  

“Let’s go together. I feel responsible too, and I’d feel more at peace if I went with you. Besides, two is better than one, isn’t it?”  

Only then did Yvonne realize that Emma had noticed her intentions all along but had pretended not to know.  

“Do you… think I’m pathetic?”  

“Why would I think that?”  

“But the baby’s father… he was that kind of person…”  

“It’s hard for me to say I understand. But that doesn’t mean I can’t empathize with your sorrow.”  

“……”  

“What fault does the child have? And neither do you.”  

Emma guided Yvonne to bid her final farewell. Yvonne looked away from her eyes, which were beginning to well up with tears, and thought to herself:  

Right now, at this moment, she was so grateful that Emma was by her side.  

***

In a corner of the village, far from the marketplace, Yvonne handed one silver shekel to the cemetery keeper and was assigned a small plot.  

Those buried in the communal cemetery were all of similar circumstances.  

There were some visible tombstones, but Yvonne, in her haste to leave, couldn’t prepare one. All she could manage was a flat stone plaque and a small box provided by the cemetery keeper.  

Yvonne placed her skirt, stiffened with dried blood from her hemorrhaging, into the box and buried it. It was the only thing she could use to mourn the child.  

Covering the box with the stone plaque and placing the bouquet on top, she offered a brief silent prayer.  

‘In your next life, may you meet better parents than someone like me…’