Chapter 2.2

As she went to get the container, Yoon-jae bitterly smiled, reflecting on past events. She didn’t know why she volunteered to help with the dishes when she wasn’t used to accepting kindness from strangers.

Even now, she still didn’t understand why she answered that way at that moment.

But she didn’t regret the decision she made then. The work was hard and exhausting, but when she returned to the dorm at night and lay down, a sense of fulfillment enveloped her.

Even though her limbs ached and it was hard to turn over, her mind was at ease. Yoon-jae decided to stop thinking too deeply. That was enough.

It turned out the construction site cafeteria was quite renowned among construction companies. The CEO, who started the business to help her husband, who was originally a construction site manager, often lamented while drinking late at night.

‘If I had known it was such rough work, I should never have started.’

After her husband died of illness, debts piled up, and she had no choice but to continue, she said, looking helpless as she drank soju.

Working in a rough and barren site often led to people hurting and undermining each other. Still, she felt more at ease than when she was in the studio apartment.

Being hit or verbally abused was one thing, but she especially disliked the cunning way people tested and used each other.

Even in a small world, there was a definite hierarchy. Rankings based on sales led to trampling and contempt as a matter of course.

Compared to that, the cheap cafeteria kitchen was simpler and more straightforward. There was a hierarchy, but no one schemed to overturn it.

Life was at the bottom anyway. They neither pitied nor clumsily protected each other. Though they were harsh and used each other like expendables, there was less crude manipulation.

Perhaps it was due to the straightforward and bold personalities of the CEO and the head cook, but Yoon-jae found it more comfortable this way.

She worked desperately for two months to stay. She didn’t know where the cafeteria would go when this site ended, but she didn’t want to be kicked out.

Being told she worked well was nice, but not knowing how to cook was a significant weakness for her. On days she worked harder to compensate, her whole body ached and she was exhausted.

Three months passed. One morning, Yoon-jae woke up and rushed to the bathroom, vomiting violently.

There was nothing much to throw up. Only some thin stomach acid came out. Yet, once her stomach turned, nausea and dry heaves persisted.

Staggering out of the bathroom, Yoon-jae boiled water in an electric kettle. She thought she should drink warm water to calm her upset stomach.

‘Are you sick? Why do you keep going to the bathroom? Do you have a stomachache?’

The head cook asked, and she forced a smile and nodded.

‘Yeah. My stomach’s a bit upset… I’ll be fine.’

She felt the cook’s sharp gaze on her. Yoon-jae instinctively turned her body slightly to avoid the gaze.

Whenever she felt someone scrutinizing her, she defensively avoided eye contact. It was a habit from her time in the studio apartment.

‘If you feel unwell, take medicine in advance. You know where the pharmacy is, right? If you get sick when we’re busy, it’s a loss for the other ladies. Or tell the CEO and take a day off.’

The cook grumbled with a dissatisfied face and went into the bathroom.

Yoon-jae exhaled lightly and drank the boiled water mixed with cold water. Only then did she feel her stomach settling.

Could I take a break?

The CEO wasn’t stingy with vacations. She held her phone and opened the schedule app. Her face darkened as she looked closely at the calendar.

She hadn’t had her period.

She realized this while looking at the calendar. She had completely forgotten while adjusting here. Realizing it made her pulse quicken and her hands grow cold.

No way.

Yoon-jae quietly examined her body. There were no signs. She didn’t feel anything different. She couldn’t perceive anything except that her period had stopped.

Yet, inexplicable anxiety filled her mind. The fact she felt nauseous for no reason was unusual.

It’s probably nothing.

Even thinking that, she couldn’t hide her anxiety. The face of the man she tried so hard to erase vividly resurfaced in her mind.

She shook her head vigorously. It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. She wanted to think it was just because she wasn’t feeling well.

As she began searching the internet, Yoon-jae’s face grew darker over time. No matter how much she searched, most results were unwanted.

She couldn’t just let it go. She hurriedly prepared for work, trying to hide her anxiety.

*

Lunch prepared as a Korean buffet was ready. After putting down the container and returning to the kitchen, the only thing left was delivery.

The apartment complex under construction was so vast that delivery was essential for the distant inner areas. The snow from a few days ago had left icy roads, making it even more challenging.

Still, Yoon-jae persevered through sheer will. Perhaps that’s why there were quite a few days when she heard praise from the CEO and the cook.

She loaded the stacked lunch boxes onto the back of the scooter and tied them securely with a strap. After wrapping a handbag around her waist, putting on a thick padded jacket, and wearing a helmet, Yoon-jae spoke to the CEO.

“I’m going to deliver these and stop by the pharmacy for a bit.”

“Why, are you still feeling unwell after vomiting?”

The CEO asked, eyes wide with concern. Seeing her genuinely clueless expression made Yoon-jae feel guilty. She awkwardly smiled and replied.

“I just want to prevent it before it gets worse.”

“If it’s serious, stop by a hospital. There are many near the subway station. We’re short on dishwashing hands, so move quickly.”

The CEO spoke indifferently and gestured for her to leave quickly. Yoon-jae nodded and got on the scooter.

Even though it was a familiar route, she drove slowly to avoid slipping on the ice. Thanks to her effort to focus solely on driving, she managed to reach the inner part of the site safely.

“Why are you so late? I was starving to death.”

“Look at that butt. It’s sticking out while she’s sitting on the scooter. No wonder she’s so slow with a body that big.”

“Hey, hey, you’ve got no filter talking to a young maiden who hasn’t even married yet. By the way, miss, how about grabbing a draft beer with us later?”

The workers waiting for their meals gathered around and moved the basket filled with lunchboxes. Occasionally, there were people who stared blatantly or made advances, but Yoon-jae pretended not to notice and ignored them.

“She’s acting all high and mighty for someone delivering food from a site cafeteria.”

There were always people who openly sneered as well. However, since it was a large site, the team leaders often stepped in to stop them.

“Stop acting like fools just because you’re aroused in broad daylight. Just eat your food. Haven’t you ever seen a cafeteria worker before? Stop being ridiculous.”

Of course, even they spoke in crude language as a matter of course. Some even flirted boldly.

Whenever this happened, Yoon-jae gripped her phone tightly. To be prepared to call the police at any moment, recording was essential.

What she had learned was that the best course of action was to keep a cold and intimidating expression, ignore everyone’s words, and focus solely on her work.

She still didn’t have the courage to confront them or the eloquence to shut them up. After enduring five years at the bottom, all the knowledge and rhetoric she had studied seemed as useless as scraps of paper.

In the face of survival, where violence took precedence, reasoning and arguments were powerless. It was like a kind of trauma.

“Please put everything back in here after eating.”

She left the container and quickly walked away. With her head lowered, she hurriedly pulled the scooter and escaped the scene. Only after starting the engine and leaving the site did she finally exhale.

She barely suppressed the nausea caused by the smell of food. An inexplicable sense of anxiety gnawed at her heart. Yoon-jae tried to calm herself down.

It’s just irregular. These things happen.

It was just a missed period, nothing more. 

She tried to brush it off, but her heart remained uneasy.

She drove the scooter calmly. Newly constructed, still empty buildings came into view. Yoon-jae parked the scooter and looked outside.

Above the pharmacy building, there were rows of hospitals. A large sign reading “OB-GYN” stood out. She stared at the letters on the sign for a long time before shaking her head.

“Welcome.”

The pharmacist at the pharmacy she finally entered was kind. Even though it was hard for her to ask for a pregnancy test kit, the pharmacist patiently waited.

Yoon-jae barely managed to make the purchase. Clutching the test kit in its opaque bag, she took a deep breath and entered the building’s restroom.