Chapter 2.3

Upon arriving home, she headed to her room on the second floor to change clothes. She felt Adrian’s gaze following her all the way to the bottom of the stairs. Thinking of that persistent gaze as proof of his desire to marry her off to someone suitable as soon as possible, she felt a pang of sadness that almost brought tears to her eyes.  

That day, Theodora used the excuse of her feet hurting from the long walk to skip tea time. Of course, it was her heart that hurt, not her feet, but it didn’t matter.  

Theodora spent almost the entire night sorting out her thoughts with difficulty. In the end, everything was her fault. It was her own fault for liking Adrian, who only saw her as a good friend, for getting excited about the talk of marriage and then feeling disappointed, and for feeling heartbroken like someone who had been rejected when there was nothing between them from the start.  

He genuinely thought of her as a friend, with no romantic feelings whatsoever. She humbly acknowledged that this wasn’t his fault.  

She had hesitated for a while, dreaming of the day she would meet him again, but now it was time to turn her long-standing resolve into action. To avoid suffocating in this cage-like life, to avoid drowning in the sorrow of giving him up.

* * *

As Theodora climbed the stairs to the second floor, visibly downcast, Adrian Bachelet, now to be called the Marquis of Devon, couldn’t take his eyes off the retreating figure of his friend.  

‘Perhaps I spoke too hastily.’  

Theodora, who was poor at hiding her true feelings, had a visibly upset expression. As Adrian reviewed his mistake, Lucas, the aide who followed him like a shadow, suddenly appeared.  

“Is that the childhood friend I’ve heard so much about?”  

Without answering, Adrian moved toward the drawing room, and the aide followed him without showing any displeasure. Clearly, the lady his superior had been looking at with such tender eyes, yet insisted was just a friend, was the eldest daughter of this household.  

‘If that’s how he looks at friends, then I don’t have any friends…’  

However, the quick-witted Lucas didn’t voice such thoughts. From his years of unintended partnership with Adrian, he knew that the seemingly easygoing and agreeable second son of the ducal family was not as simple or pliant as he appeared.  

Adrian likely aimed to project the image of a cheerful and likable young man, but his true nature was closer to being sensitive and quick-tempered. It was merely his obsession with not revealing his true self that kept it well hidden.  

“You didn’t spend the whole time napping, so what about the reconnaissance?”  

The stark difference in his cold voice and hard expression from when he dealt with his childhood friend was proof of this.  

Wasn’t it a form of deception to hide one’s true nature so thoroughly from others? If she were truly a friend, he should act the same way with her as he did with others, yet his superior’s behavior seemed contradictory, Lucas thought privately.  

“I did look around a bit, but I didn’t find anything suspicious. However, there were some traces of people passing through the wasteland.”  

“I’ll check it out myself soon. Meanwhile, start gathering information.”  

“Yes, understood, Captain.”  

“We’re on a mission, so change the title.”  

“I’ll correct it, Marquis.”  

Adrian sighed softly at Lucas’s response, still tinged with the rigor of the battlefield. Having just finished the war and come down to the south for a change, the tiresome remnants of his life hadn’t disappeared and had followed him here. Honestly, he was fed up.  

“Do you really think such an organization could have settled in this rural area?”  

“There’s plenty of unclaimed land. It’s not a bad place to hide.”  

“Yes, that’s true.”  

“There’s no way the authorities gave us false information, so look into anything suspicious for a while.”  

“Yes, understood.”  

“Of all places, the trail had to be caught here… What rotten luck.”  

Adrian grumbled with a deeply furrowed brow. His activities were top secret, so he couldn’t reveal the truth to Theodora, but he hadn’t been moving around the rear for safety.  

Adrian’s role within the Imperial Army had always been mostly related to intelligence. Initially, he was placed in the rear for the protection of the heir, but before long, he volunteered for transfer to another unit. And it was the Emperor’s direct secret unit that discreetly approached him.  

‘Honestly, while it’s true that you’re quite a valuable asset, are you really okay with this? Being under the Emperor’s direct command means you won’t be able to disclose your affiliation even to the ducal family.’  

Though it was called a rear support unit, Adrian no longer wanted to stay in a place composed of young nobles where it was hard to tell if it was a daycare or an army, so he chose the intelligence bureau instead.  

For the next five years, he freely crossed the bullet-ridden borders, acting as the Emperor’s secret informant. His conspicuous appearance was sometimes a disadvantage even in disguise, but mostly, his harmless and charming exterior assisted his missions.  

He had to undertake direct combat, sniping, and assassination missions as needed, so it was by no means a safe role. However, Adrian, who had no particular attachment to the world except for Theodora, found a certain vitality in such a life.  

As the danger of the missions increased, the previously meaningless life became a bit more interesting. Although the excitement akin to a drug was by no means desirable, he couldn’t endure the unbearably dull days without spending his time that way.  

He passed on the information he obtained by risking his life to his homeland, killed when ordered to kill, and stole confidential documents when ordered to steal. Lucas was his colleague and subordinate, who crossed the line of death with him in that chaos.  

“The timing is certainly curious. How could an incident occur precisely when you came down to the south, Marquis? Perhaps, maybe…”  

“Maybe?”  

“Could it be that you are cursed to bring work wherever you go, Marquis?”  

“If you have time to spout nonsense, go out and find at least one more piece of evidence.”  

And he still hadn’t shed his soldier’s identity. Even though the war was over, the work of the intelligence bureau hadn’t ended.  

It was true that he had been granted a territory in the south and had become a Marquis, but the problem was that the director had eagerly assigned him a mission. It was due to a tip-off that one of the funding sources of the coalition that had opposed the Empire had hidden in the south.  

As it was the remnant of a once-massive drug organization, there was a high possibility it could develop into another criminal group if not eradicated immediately, and Adrian reluctantly accepted the mission upon hearing the director’s lament.  

In return, Adrian firmly established that this mission would be his last operation with the intelligence bureau. Even if it was because of the Bachelet blood flowing in his veins, he had joined the secret unit, but after about five years, he was starting to get tired of this work.  

The director, though regretting Adrian’s discharge, let him go without resistance. If it ever got out that he had used the Duke’s younger brother in such a manner, it would only be a matter of time before he lost his head.  

In any case, after many twists and turns, the only thing he had looked forward to upon coming down to the south was reuniting with Theodora. And he could say that today’s meeting was the best thing that had happened to him in recent years.  

From the moment he got off the carriage and saw Theodora, Adrian felt the pressure weighing on his heart melt away like snow. Only then did he realize just how great the longing he had forcibly kept inside him had been.

The meal was not particularly pleasant, but the time in the garden afterward was unbelievably enjoyable. Just the fact that Theodora was in front of him filled his empty soul, and the world, which had always been monochrome, began to look beautiful.

For him, if dangerous missions were a kind of stimulant to endure a tedious life, Theodora’s presence was more like a sedative. Even just sitting side by side without doing anything made him feel content and extremely comfortable.

The afternoon was so perfect that if it were a dream, it would have been fine if time stopped right there, and beside him was the only person he could lean on, his true friend. In this world, no one held as much significance for Adrian as Theodora Hazel, now or in the future. That was why he decided to find her the best husband himself.

“I’ve agreed to attend the ball as Miss Eloise’s debutante partner. There’s still some time left, but preparations will be needed.”

“Yes, I understand. But… are you talking about the other sister, not your childhood friend?”

“Yes.”

Of course, he also wanted to be Theodora’s partner if he could. But at the same time, he didn’t want to. Sometimes he felt self-reproach for such a crazy thought, but more than that, Adrian couldn’t dare to imagine himself standing by her side.

That was his long-standing dilemma. Adrian liked Theodora. That was an undeniable truth. The problem was that he was too dependent on the relationship itself with her.

From almost their first meeting, he had been captivated by her warmth that embraced him. The attachment that sprouted under the name of friendship grew stronger and larger day by day, eventually becoming a deeply rooted tree in Adrian’s heart.

This complete, perfect, eternal, and unchanging connection was so precious to him that he feared he might ruin it even a little. For him, this friendship was like an absolute rule that should not change even though they were no longer children but a woman and a man.

Thus, Adrian planned to maintain and freeze this perfect relationship as it was forever. Therefore, he must not leave any room for vulgar and hasty emotions like love or desire to intervene between them.

To confess the truth, Adrian didn’t believe in love. No, beyond not believing, he despised that imperfect emotion. All the love he had seen until then was like overly ripe, starting-to-rot fruits.

How weak, ugly, and cruel people in love were. Men and women entangled in the emotion of love inevitably reached a tragic end. Whether it was death, ennui, or betrayal, every ending was equally miserable.

Adrian absolutely didn’t want to fall into such a danger. If he were to lose Theodora by being swayed by immature and hasty emotions… He wouldn’t be able to endure a life without her. With the forced logic that he wouldn’t lose what he didn’t have, Adrian consciously lived by blocking his feelings for her.

The relationship they cherished and built was much more noble and sublime, something that couldn’t be explained by worldly emotions like love.

“Theodora deserves a better partner than me.”

Thus, Adrian came up with a plan. It was something he had thought about for a very long time. He knew that since coming of age, Theodora had been under constant pressure regarding marriage.

He couldn’t be unaware of how conservative the southern social circle was and how difficult it was to live as an unmarried woman within it. Therefore, he wanted to find a man for Theodora who was suitably harmless and gentle, yet without any flaws as a husband.

Having taken the unique position of her friend, he could allow someone else to play the role of a partner for maintaining social appearances.

In truth, noble marriages in the Empire were always like that. Couples with good marital harmony were rare, and having separate lovers was considered normal. So, he thought he would stay by her side as a friend if Theodora found stability by marrying a suitable man. Like the tree she loved, always the same evergreen.