Now You’re Obsessed - Chapter 15

‘I still like Lionel… I like him.’

Yes, it’s true that I like him. No, to be precise, it’s true that I used to like him. I liked him so much that I thought about him often, knew everything he liked, and worked hard to join the subjugation team for his sake.

‘Even when we kissed earlier.’

Ariel’s heart pounded madly, just like in the descriptions of romance novels, as if she had kissed someone she loved.

But does Lionel Frenderick like Ariel Tenia?

‘To the extent that it’s okay for me to do something like that?’

The consensus among the people of the Holy Academy was that there was room for doubt on that matter. Even those who had watched the two grow up had their doubts.

Now, even Ariel Tenia herself was questioning it.

‘What if I’ve been deluding myself all this time?’

‘I clearly told you. I already have someone I’ve promised my future to…’

‘What if the person Lionel mentioned isn’t me?’

The shoulder that Lionel had twisted earlier started to hurt belatedly. Upon coming to her senses, she realized that the pain was not in her shoulder but in her heart.

“……”

‘If I’ve been chasing after someone who doesn’t like me all this time, as others have said…’

Perhaps Lionel accepted her advances because he couldn’t reject her.

Those were the words others had said to her. They said Lionel froze whenever he saw her because he was uncomfortable, that his reactions to her confessions were not out of shyness but because he found her words absurd…

The young ladies who couldn’t approach Lionel because of her, and the young men who saw her affection as something to mock, often said such things. Ariel, who had never paid attention to others’ gossip, started to worry belatedly.

Very, very belatedly.

She couldn’t think, ‘I just need to try harder,’ as she usually did. What was she supposed to do in this situation? The deed was already done, and she couldn’t fix it.

After washing her face with cold water, the night wind cooled her overheated body several times. She felt cold to her bones.

‘I should go inside and sleep.’

Maybe her thoughts would be more organized after she slept. Instead of wandering outside, she wanted to lie in her bed, which always warmly embraced her.

She was heading into the mansion with a confused heart when,

“Oh.”

Something caught the corner of Ariel’s eye as she passed by the drawing room. There shouldn’t be any guests at this hour, but the door to the frequently used drawing room was open. And,

‘That’s…’

A person’s leg was sticking out from beside the drawing room table. It looked as if someone had collapsed. A sense of foreboding gripped her neck and rang alarm bells.

‘Those shoes…’

Ariel recognized the shoes on that foot. They were the high-quality leather shoes she had saved up to buy for her father a few years ago…

“Father!”

The Marquis of Tenia was lying unconscious on the floor. Nearby were a half-smoked cigar and a broken glass he had been holding. Ariel screamed in panic.

“Father! Please wake up!”

“Miss? Where have you been at this late hour… Marquis!”

“Someone call a physician!”

That night, the Marquis’s mansion was turned upside down.

A physician came late at night, and there was a commotion. Ariel found out much later that Lionel had visited the Marquis’s mansion that night, but with her father collapsing and the incident with Lionel, she didn’t have the courage to face him. Their reunion was postponed.

She didn’t even remember how the next few days passed.

She barely looked at the questions during the re-entry exam for the subjugation team, and throughout her senior year at the Holy Academy, her mind was entirely on her fallen father. The declining family fortune, which she could no longer ignore after her father’s collapse, also occupied a corner of her reality.

‘…Oh, God.’

For the first time, Ariel prayed to God instead of Lionel.

‘Please help me.’

If you help me, I won’t bother your precious and beautiful child anymore. I’ll stop bothering him and live my life properly.

A few days later,

“Father! Are you awake?”

“Ari…el?”

“Thank goodness, thank goodness…”

Fortunately, the Marquis had only collapsed from overwork. After several days of deep sleep, his body, which had been weighed down by accumulated fatigue, recovered significantly.

When the Marquis of Tenia opened his eyes,

“Thank goodness…”

Thud!

“Kyaa! Miss!”

“Ariel!”

This time, Ariel, who had relaxed, caught a cold and fell seriously ill.

While bedridden, Ariel kept dreaming.

In her dreams, she was the villainess of a romance novel. The villainess bit her handkerchief and eyed the male lead before jumping into his bed.

And the male lead’s face quickly changed to Lionel’s as he looked at her. Just like that day. With a flushed face. His disappointed face was even more exaggerated in her mind than it had been in reality.

‘…I’m sorry.’

At that moment, unlike a villainess, she bolted out of bed and ran. The realization that she had been looking in the wrong place all this time shook her to the core.

“Huff.”

When she woke from the dream, her heart was pounding. A maid, sensing her movement, opened the door and came in.

“Miss, you’re awake?”

“Yeah.”

“They said it’s just a mild cold. Isn’t that a relief? The Marquis too, and you should take care of yourself…”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, right. A letter came from the Frenderick Duchy while you were lying down…”

“Later.”

The maid, who knew Ariel would normally tear into a letter right away, looked at her with pity.

“I thought it was a letter you’d be happy to receive…”

“Not now.”

The maid, sensing Ariel’s mood, cautiously asked,

“What about your meal?”

“Later too.”

“Should I bring some medicine?”

“No, I want to be alone.”

“…Understood.”

Ariel remained curled up on the bed, staring out the window, lost in thought.

She sat there for a long time, ignoring everything else, even the maids’ concerns, until the sun set and rose again.

* * *

“Ariel, I heard you were sick. Are you okay?”

“…Caelo. Is your offer to come to Veloto still valid?”

Ariel sought out Caelo shortly after recovering from her illness. He had been away for a while, but as soon as Ariel got back on her feet, he returned to the Holy Kingdom.

As soon as she met him, Ariel brought up the offer he had made. Caelo, looking surprised, replied,

“Of course, it’s still valid. Are you really considering it?”

“I’m about to graduate. I’m serious, Caelo.”

“I’m serious too. But…”

Caelo hesitated before cautiously asking,

“What about your preparations for the subjugation team? You’ve been working on it for quite some time.”

“Oh.”

Ariel forced a smile. She had already sorted out her thoughts while lying in bed with a cold.

The items that carried Lionel’s scent, placed on her window sill and by her door, no longer brought her comfort. Ariel gathered them with a bitter smile and put them away in a corner.

After all, she wouldn’t be seeing Lionel again. He wouldn’t look at her the way he used to.

The time for contemplation was surprisingly short. Compared to the time she spent liking Lionel, it was an infinitely brief period that others might see as a decision made on impulse.

‘But this feels right.’

Of course, she felt a bit melancholic to the point of tears. She often felt sad after waking from dreams and had to hold back tears.

But she didn’t have the luxury to dwell on those feelings for long. Ariel thought of her father, who had collapsed from overwork, and her family’s current poor state, then slapped her cheeks. She steeled her resolve.

‘Yes. I need to get a grip, stop bothering Lionel, and find a way to save my family!’

As the only daughter of the Tenia family, she was the one to inherit the family. She couldn’t leave everything to her father.

‘I’ve been wandering outside too much.’

Seeing her elderly father and the bewildered servants felt like a splash of cold water waking her up. She finally felt the weight of her responsibilities.

…The incident with Lionel was the most decisive factor, though.

Remembering how she had buried her head in his groin and his tears made her face burn. Even his crying face was so beautiful that she felt hopelessly irredeemable.

‘Lionel cried because he hated it.’

The pain of realizing her feelings were one-sided was one thing, but the guilt and embarrassment of ignoring Lionel’s repeated, honest expressions of discomfort and mistaking it for shyness were immense. She was ashamed of believing something that would never come true.

‘Yes. I really need to grow up now.’

Let’s give up. On the subjugation team and on Lionel.

Even now, it’s time to give up on the hopeless subjugation team and find something she could actually do. The talk of engagement and marriage with Lionel, which was unrealistic, was the same. If he had any intention of marrying her, he would have sent a marriage proposal or a letter long ago.

‘Yes. This is for the best.’

Although it felt very late, it was fortunate, in a way, that there had been no formal marriage discussions. It would have been more troublesome to sort things out. Though she had been waiting for a proposal that would never come.

‘I’ve just come of age. I’m still young.’

Ariel steeled her heart repeatedly. She was comforted by the fact that she still had some optimism left. After all, the time she spent liking Lionel wasn’t entirely wasted. If it weren’t for Lionel, Ariel would have been content with living a mediocre life.