Raphael’s words asking if she wanted love brought her back to reality. It felt like cold water had been poured over her, chilling her hands and feet. She had made the mistake of getting excited because of a slightly tender kiss. It was foolish, considering he didn’t have the same thoughts.

She laughed at herself for being so pathetic. Want love? Raphael was someone who would never give love. More accurately, he couldn’t give it. Now he was making her beg for love; how much lower did he want her to fall?

It was amusing to him. Seeing her in distress was a source of entertainment for him.

“No.”

She hated herself for assigning meaning to his every action and getting shaken. He probably didn’t have any such thoughts.

“Do I want love?”

She wanted to burst into tears and sob, but she suppressed it with superhuman strength. If she broke down now, it would be what he wanted. At least in front of Raphael, she had to act unaffected. Even if she collapsed after he left.

“Not from you, Your Grace.”

“…What do you mean by that?”

She heard the sound of his fist clenching tightly beside her head. She didn’t need to turn her head to know he was furious, with veins bulging. Amelia deliberately looked straight at him, not averting her gaze.

“I would never want love from you, not even if I were dying.”

She hoped her voice sounded as firm as possible. She wouldn’t be swayed by a mere kiss.

Raphael, perhaps angered by her words, left the room. If he hadn’t left, she would have cried right there. As the door closed, Amelia collapsed on the spot.

She fell helplessly to the floor; she was relieved he didn’t see her.

“Ha…”

Tears poured down, it was a miracle she had held them back. She couldn’t hide her misery. If he knew her true feelings, he would never have said such things. She couldn’t express how her heart fluttered at the tender kiss, so different from the previous night. Her heart raced wildly at his slightest whim.

But the moment he asked if she wanted love, her soaring heart plummeted.

“Your Highness? Are you alright? We heard a loud noise…”

Amelia stifled her sobs at the concerned voices of Ann and Jane outside the door. Because of her, Ann and Jane were caught up in this. Raphael probably wouldn’t forgive them.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Are you really alright? The Grand Duke came out looking very angry…”

Of course, he did. She had practically ignored him. She could have thrown away her pride and clung to him, begging him to love her.

“Yes, I’m fine. But you two won’t be punished because of me, right?”

“…We should be alright.”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t affect you.”

He probably wouldn’t change her personal maids without telling her. This wasn’t the time to be crying. She realized something clearly today. Raphael didn’t love her. If she stayed by his side, she would be swayed and wither away first.

Raphael didn’t want to be tied down to a woman he didn’t even like, which is why he never consummated their relationship.

***

The restriction on leaving the room was somewhat eased. Perhaps due to the shock, he didn’t interfere with her walking around the castle. Ann and Jane weren’t punished either.

“……”

Amelia lay in bed for a long time after waking up today. Her body ached from being tormented by him the night before.

“Your Highness, are you awake?”

“Yes… please help me.”

Her life hadn’t changed much since the escape attempt. Leonel’s house arrest was lifted, and he spent time with her after his lessons. Amelia also tried to avoid staying in one place to avoid Raphael.

“I’ll prepare your bath.”

“…Alright.”

Even seeing her body didn’t elicit any reaction anymore. Unlike before, Ann and Jane’s eyes swept over the bruises without pretending otherwise. It was no longer surprising, as it happened every day.

“Ah…!”

“Does it hurt?”

“My back is just a bit sore…”

She needed to soak in hot water. What she thought would end in one night of passion continued. Every night, without a word, they explored each other’s bodies as if they were the only two people left in the world.

“I’ll give you a massage soon.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t just Ann and Jane who had grown accustomed to it. She also accepted the maids’ touch comfortably. Compared to when she couldn’t even lift her head out of embarrassment, it was a significant improvement.

“What about the dress…”

“One that covers up to the neck.”

“You’ll be hot.”

“It’s fine.”

Every morning, it was a struggle to find a dress that could cover her body. Raphael’s increasing possessiveness and persistence left marks on her body as if he was branding her. The more she covered up, the more intense it became. The locations of the marks grew more cunning each day.

“Should I cover them with makeup?”

“Just enough so it’s not obvious.”

How did it come to this? She preferred when he ignored her every night.

“……”

She knew she had to stop this meaningless act. Every night, they passionately wanted each other but never went all the way. It was as if that was their final boundary. In truth, she was the biggest problem. She never refused, just kept her lips tightly shut. She liked being close to him, even in that way.

“Mother!”

“Leonel.”

As soon as Leonel arrived, Amelia left the room. She couldn’t stand staying in the room during the day, feeling as if traces of their intimacy lingered. Being alone in the room made her think of him.

“Shall we go to the garden?”

“Sure.”

Despite being under house arrest for a week, Leonel was still cheerful. He neither resented nor avoided her.

“Have some cake.”

Amelia smiled faintly and shook her head at Leonel’s offer of cake. Recently, she had lost her appetite and often felt nauseous. She could barely take the medicine he gave her.

“Father is watching us.”

“Is he?”

Leonel must have had excellent vision to notice Raphael from afar. She pretended not to notice and swallowed her tea. The slightly bitter taste turned her stomach again. She didn’t know why she felt this way lately.

“Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Her current discomfort didn’t matter. The thought of Raphael watching her made her body tense up. Ironically, during the day, they didn’t see each other. To be precise, she desperately avoided him. As long as she was in the castle, he had no reason to approach her. It seemed he wanted to keep her close to watch her rather than let her escape completely.

“Mother… you know…”

“What is it?”

“What if we got help from someone else?”

Someone else’s help?

“I hate to admit it, but… I can’t avoid Father’s eyes right now.”

Seeing Leonel’s dejected reaction, Amelia couldn’t help but stroke his cheek. She knew how hard he had tried.

They couldn’t continue living like this. More than anything, she felt she couldn’t endure it. Each time she embraced him, she felt both happiness and pain. It was a stark reminder that he didn’t love her.

“I think I can solve that.”

“Mother…”

“Shall we talk about it later?”

If this continued, she would break first. Staying by his side would dry her out, making her lose herself and crave love like the old Amelia. Begging for love was the last thing she wanted.

“Shall we sleep together tonight?”

“I’d love that!”

She knew the way out. She was swayed by him again. Even if it wasn’t passion directed at her, she couldn’t resist the pleasure of being close to him.

“Will you wait for me in the room?”

“Yes!”

Returning to the room, she felt the lingering scent of their intimacy. This was why she hated being in the room during the day. It made her relive their nights together.

She picked the thickest, most modest nightgown from the wardrobe. Recently, there had been more thin, flimsy nightgowns, thinking their relationship had improved.

“Pointless…”

She wanted to burn them all immediately, but she turned toward Leonel’s room.

If it weren’t for the firm fingers grasping her wrist, she would have done so. Her body reacted first to the familiar scent and touch she had grown used to over the past few days.

“Where are you going?”

Raphael didn’t love her. He had already given his heart to someone else.