Chapter 53: Choice

Jackie’s eyes flew open as she regained consciousness. Looking at the familiar ceiling, she blinked in confusion, unsure of what had happened. She remembered reporting to her master that she couldn’t hide the poison pouch and being strangled, but couldn’t recall what happened after that.

“I think I met my lady…”

Jackie muttered while touching her forehead. She seemed to remember being embraced and begging for forgiveness, but couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality. If it was all just a dream…

“Was nothing discovered?”

“You’re wrong about that.”

At the sudden voice, Jackie startled and sat up. Her vision spun briefly, and her heart pounded as if it would jump out. Without time to calm her startled heart, Jackie blinked several times to clear her blurry vision. When she could see clearly, she noticed a figure sitting in a chair and soon realized it was Marquis Adrian.

“Lord, Lord Marquis.”

Jackie knelt down, getting off the bed without even pushing aside the blanket. While she shook her head trying to gather her wits, Caelan set down his teacup. There was another cup besides the one he put down, but its owner wasn’t visible. While staring at the cup intently, Caelan spoke.

“It wasn’t that nothing was discovered, but that you were being watched.”

He corrected Jackie’s thinking. Jackie tried to collect herself while clasping her trembling hands together, but merely withstanding Caelan’s intimidating gaze was all she could manage.

Marquis Adrian was as frightening as her master. The only difference was that she had never been hit by the Marquis, but now that everything was discovered, she didn’t know when he would order her death.

“Who planted you here?”

“That, that’s…”

Jackie seemed at a loss for words for the first time. She couldn’t speak because she knew that if she did, not only she but her family would die.

“It would be better to talk.”

“But if I speak, I’ll die.”

“What strange words.”

Caelan moved close to Jackie and gripped her shoulder. Though Jackie shrank back in fear, Caelan didn’t let go, instead holding her firmly in his grasp.

“Please let go… ugh.”

When Caelan’s hand released her shoulder and touched her neck, she let out a low cry. She thought her throat was being squeezed. While she gritted her teeth against the pain in her neck, Caelan stood up.

“Now you understand?”

Though Caelan had moved away, the pain in her neck persisted. Jackie raised her hand as if her throat was swollen inside. The feel of bandages under her fingertips was undeniable.

“You already almost died.”

Caelan muttered indifferently as he watched Jackie touch her neck and swallow repeatedly.

“I’m not asking you.”

Jackie covered her mouth with trembling hands.

“I’m not offering to spare your life in exchange for telling everything either.”

When Caelan placed his hand on the scabbard at his waist, Jackie drew in a startled breath. She slowly backed away in fear that the sword might strike her neck at any moment.

“I’m only holding back because Bliss would worry if I hurt you. I don’t want her concerning herself over someone like you.”

Jackie’s face, which had only shown fear until now, darkened. While she had only felt scared of Marquis Adrian before, at the mention of her lady, guilt began to squeeze her heart. She had betrayed the woman who had always treated her well. The pain of this was so great that tears gradually welled up in Jackie’s face.

When her eyes could hold no more tears, they rolled down her cheeks.

“So now you feel like talking.”

Caelan crossed his arms and looked down at Jackie. There was no need to force her to speak through pain.

“I, I had no choice but to follow orders. They had my mother and younger sibling…”

It felt like someone was strangling her with a rope as Caelan looked down at her.

Jackie swallowed and spoke.

“I was ordered to apply what they gave me to items my lady often touched… I’m sorry.”

Jackie knelt and wrung her hands. Watching her, Caelan knelt on one knee to meet her eyes.

“So who ordered you?”

“…lord.”

Jackie forced out the voice, and Caelan’s eyes sharpened.

“I’ll apologize to my lady. And I’ll never do it again. So please, please spare my life.”

“Your fate will be decided by Bliss, not me.”

Caelan had waited because he had something to ask her. He had only come to find out who her real master was, the maid’s fate wasn’t his concern. Having gotten the answer he wanted from her, Caelan left the room, and Jackie was suddenly alone.

It was a moment of many emotions coming and going. First fear, then overwhelming guilt, and after that rush, the final silence felt sad.

Biting her lip to hold back sounds and only letting tears fall, someone’s feet appeared before Jackie. She forced herself to stop crying though she couldn’t hide her hiccups as she raised her head. The moment she saw who it was, the tears she had tried so hard to stop burst forth again. Jackie prostrated herself on the floor.

“My lady, I’m sorry. I’m truly… truly sorry.”

“You know you’re sorry.”

At the gentle voice, no different from usual, Jackie’s tears flowed even more. Seeing the increased flow of tears, Bliss sighed.

“Will you raise your head?”

As if intending to lift it herself, Bliss placed her hand under Jackie’s chin and raised it. Though there was no force in her touch, Jackie raised her head as if enchanted.

Bliss wiped Jackie’s wet face with a handkerchief. When the face kept getting wet no matter how much she wiped, she smiled, giving up.

“I wondered why you were so scared. At first, I thought it was because I had hit you…”

Whenever she thought she would be hit, she would shrink back, wanting to block with her arms but instead gripping her skirt so hard it might wrinkle. She must have been hit by someone before. But she only realized when Mint cried out in indignation – that she had never hit Jackie. Even so, she thought Jackie was scared and at a loss because of her words.

“Were you hit a lot?”

Bliss smiled seeing Jackie clutch and release her skirt in confusion. Even if she served another master, knowing that not everything she had shown her was a lie made her smile. And when Jackie raised her head, she smiled as if nothing had happened.

“Your fate rests entirely in my hands.”

Bliss shared the thoughts she had been pondering.

“No one would say anything if I killed you. Especially since I used to be punished even for small mistakes, there might be no need to keep you alive.”

The disconnect between Bliss’s gentle voice and her words felt stark. Her lady, who had always been kind to her, was discussing punishment in that tone. Moreover, she spoke so casually about killing her that Jackie lowered her eyes as if resigned.

“But it doesn’t seem right to kill you when you’ve already almost died.”

When Jackie raised surprised eyes, Bliss spoke with her still-smiling face.

“That would be too cruel.”

She didn’t want this girl to feel that terror twice. Bliss patted Jackie’s head.

“You choose. Whether to leave or stay here.”

Jackie raised her head.

“May I stay?”

“If you never betray me again…”

“I, I will. I’ll never betray you again.”

Jackie raised trembling eyes and promised.

“Alright, then stay. And let’s start over.”

Bliss, who had been watching her, raised her body that had been sitting. And for the first time, she dropped her smile and fully revealed her expression. It contained resentment and hurt toward the child she had trusted. At those raw emotions, Jackie’s face began to get soaked again.

Facing Bliss’s true feelings, her guilt grew uncontrollably. Since no words could soothe her lady’s heart, Jackie closed her eyes.

When Bliss left the room, she found Caelan leaning against the wall.

“Were you here the whole time?”

“I was curious what punishment you would give.”

And Caelan, who had heard everything, straightened up from where he had been leaning.

“Is that also the dagger’s teaching?”

“Teaching… what?”

“I’m asking if the dagger taught you to forgive.”

“Caelan, I won’t kill anyone anymore, and hitting is even more out of the question.”

She clarified that it wasn’t because of the dagger, but simply because she had changed.

Therefore, not letting Jackie serve her was the extent of her punishment.

“But that doesn’t mean I didn’t punish her. Even though I knew she would worry about her family, I didn’t offer to save them.”

Though she knew how heavy that burden would be, Bliss turned away. Hiding her sigh, Bliss turned to Caelan.

“I’m going to the palace.”

She didn’t want to stay here right now.

***

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in so long.”

Princess Jasmin’s greeting was full of warmth. In response, Bliss forced a smile in an attempt to push thoughts about Jackie aside.

“Have you been well?”

“I felt empty not seeing you. If I had known, I should have asked to meet without waiting a few days.”

When Princess Jasmin added that she was sincere, Bliss smiled. Her heavy heart from Jackie lightened a bit at the princess’s smile.

“You know what His Majesty said when I kept talking about you without realizing it?”

“His Majesty?”

Though she had just met the princess for greetings, an inexplicable anxiety rippled through her. The Emperor… As Bliss’s expression clearly showed her emotions, Princess Jasmin’s eyes sparkled, finding it amusing.

“His Majesty has invited you to lunch.”