Chapter 2 (Part 2)

His intense desire was evident in his refreshing gaze. Ria’s breath caught at the clear display, so intense that she couldn’t ignore it.

The umbrella had long since fallen to the ground, but she didn’t even notice. She was in a state where she couldn’t even hear the pitter-patter of the rain anymore and the desire he’d revealed to her was so deep that she didn’t even feel the chill of the still steady rain.

It felt like only the two of them were left in this world.

The confession stirred her heart, making her believe that her echoing heartbeats were a reflection of his confession. It’s like he’s letting out all the emotions he’s been holding in for so long.

She felt the emotions were so intense that she thought the word of acceptance might leap out of her throat at any moment. The intensity of the emotions felt so strong that she recoiled a step backward. Naturally, the hair that had been in Kahin’s hand slipped away. Even though it was just a few strands, Kahin felt an emptiness.

However, he didn’t rush to approach her again. She pulled away from him, distancing herself, as if she were trying to protect herself from something.

“Why…why is everyone telling me…….”

“…….”

“Why… give me so much affection?”

“…My Lady.”

“I-I really don’t know. I haven’t done anything for you. I can’t do anything! Maybe if it were in Korea, but here… here, I’m just a foreigner.”

The way her face contorted in hurt, it almost looked like she was crying. No, maybe she really was crying already. It’s just mixed in with the rainwater so one can’t tell.

It was just too burdensome. Their deep and intense love made her unsure of what to do. Even though she had accepted Eden when he came into her life without sorting out her relationship with Rune yet, she smiled and accepted him because she didn’t want to be alone in this unfamiliar world. But internally, it wasn’t so simple. She was anxious about when she might be abandoned, and she felt frustrated by emotions she couldn’t understand.

And now, someone else was trying to enter this complicated situation. Bringing a massive amount of love and begging for it. Confusion on top of confusion only increases her anxiety.

“What if you whisper that you love me now but then abandon me? What if I accept that love so readily and then suddenly find myself alone?”

“…….”

“What will I do then?”

She had already suffered too much from her closest relationships to suddenly believe in their affection. She was someone who harbored trust and expectations only to be hurt, making her fear it the most.

Clutching the soaked hem of her dress tightly, Ria exhaled sharply with heightened emotions. Kahin, seeing her in this state, swallowed the words he was about to say back down his throat.

He could have answered her without hesitation. Their feelings, his master’s, the Duke of Carlisle’s, or himself were not feelings that would fade away so easily, of that he dared to be certain.

His master and the Duke of Carlisle had been people who had never shown interest in others throughout their lives, and he himself had only known the sword. Yet here she was, the first person in their life they wanted to care about and hold onto. So how could they leave her alone? If it were so easy to cut ties, he wouldn’t be pleading like this.

But he couldn’t bring himself to say those words. In this situation, no matter how many times he said their love was not some superficial emotion, it could be seen as empty words. Anyone could easily say such things. It wouldn’t alleviate her anxiety.

In times like these, trust had to be shown through actions, not words.

“My Lady.”

“…”

“Then please use me.”

Ria’s head snapped up at the unexpected words. Kahin, never taking his gaze away from her wide eyes, cautiously took a step closer, as if trying to reassure her.

“Use me to get everything you want, take everything you desire, it doesn’t matter what it is, I can give it all to you.”

“That’s…what…….”

“If you need a house to live in, I’ll buy it for you right away. If you want me to, I’ll dedicate all my wealth to you until the day I die.”

In the midst of Ria’s confusion, the distance between them closed again. Seeing even the slightest movement of her long eyelashes, Kahin carefully raised his hand to gently brush her cheek.

“You don’t have to do anything for me, My Lady. I’ll do it for you twice as much.”

Looking into her clear, hazel eyes, Kahin slowly knelt down on one knee, carefully taking Ria’s left foot and placing it on his knee. Momentarily losing her balance and staggering, Ria urgently placed her hand on Kahin’s shoulder.

“W-what are you…”

Before the sentence could be completed, Ria’s low-heeled shoe was slipped off by Kahin’s hand. Then, in an instant, it happened. Kahin pressed his lips against the sole of her foot.

Startled by the sudden contact, Ria called out his name in a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“Kahin!”

“I, Kahin Fernon, swear eternal obedience to you.”

As his solemn voice ended, a faint red light spread over Ria’s foot and disappeared, leaving behind a single petal pattern. But more than that, Ria was stunned by Kahin’s next words.

“Obedience? What do you mean?!”

“My loyalty has already been given to my Lord, My Lady, so the only thing I can offer you is my obedience.”

Ria felt like she was a strange person for reacting this way to him being so calm. 

Isn’t this a big deal? Is this also the culture here? I am speechless. 

“I’ll be yours forever until you abandon me, but…, please don’t abandon me.”

In the meantime, Kahin bent down and placed his forehead on the top of her foot, rubbing it as if he was trying to be cute.

“If you want me to bark like a dog, I will bark.”

Then he raised his head and sent a pleading gaze. Seeing him like that, with the look of a puppy about to be abandoned, Ria covered her mouth with one hand and turned her head away.

She was undoubtedly weak against that gaze. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have felt her heart weaken like this. 

What’s that supposed to mean? What are those eyes saying? 

The accumulating anxiety was pressing down on her.

She’s never experienced something like this in Korea. Some people looked at her with such eyes, but she never felt weakened by it. Even when her first boyfriend made such an expression, it rather chilled her heart even more.

Is this something that only applies to people in this world? Why on earth? 

Breaking the train of thought that was spiraling, Ria said to Kahin with a low voice. 

“Get up, for now, please, just get up.”

Fortunately, Kahin immediately complied with her words. Carefully putting her feet back on the ground after helping her put on her shoes again. Ria shrugged him off, shielded her eyes with her palms, sighed, and then met his gaze with determination. 

“You told me to use you, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ll do whatever I ask you to do?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“…Even if it means hurting someone else?”

“If that’s what you wish, gladly.”

Ria felt a sense of danger in his answer, which came as easily as if he’d just said something casual like, “Tomorrow will be a nice day,” and she instinctively realized that he wasn’t just being hollow when he said he’d do anything for her. His green eyes, which had always felt so lush and clear, somehow didn’t feel that way now.

Ria racked her brain quickly, trying to rule out the dangers.

If I use Kahin’s help…

She knew that exploiting his feelings in this way could be deceitful. But in a situation where she knew nothing, having as many cards in her hand as possible was better for her survival. She recalled how Eden had tried to trade her for herbs to heal her leg.

There’s no reason I can’t do it.

Everyone here saw her as endlessly gentle and affectionate, but it wasn’t entirely true. In crucial moments, she knew she could decisively make any decision, and she had a good memory and absorptive capacity to recall things she could use in the moment. She just let things flow as they were unless it was something serious or important.

This time, it took a little longer for her to fully accept being in this world.

Once again, she felt the raindrops hitting her body, and she heard the sound of rain in her ears. Standing under the cold pouring rain, she felt her mind clearing up. Slowly closing her eyes, Ria finally made her decision.

In that sense, Kahin’s suggestion that she use him might have been the best choice.

“If I were to use you, what would you gain from me?”

“Your company.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“…But you called my name while you were… at it.” 

She had run away in embarrassment, but this time it was Kahin who was embarrassed by the calmness of her voice.

“That’s…….”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

His face turned red as if it might burst at any moment from the directness of her words. It seemed like he might be right about displaying a planned way to grope her.

“The Empire allows concubinage. If you desire a relationship like Rune and Eden, then yes, I can provide that.”

Ria continued to speak calmly as she stared at him intently.

“But in return, I want you to keep your word. So that when the time comes, I can use you, just as you said.”

As his hand gently cupped her cheek, slowly trailing down her jawline until his index finger touched her chin. Kahin’s heart raced as he felt her looking down at him, even though he was clearly standing taller. The sight of those hazel eyes he’d fallen in love with, looking him straight in the eye, holding him completely in their gaze, was enough to send shivers down his spine.

Whatever she demanded, he could execute it right away.

“Well then, would you bark like a dog first?”

Even that sounded like a sweet whisper.