Chapter 7 – Blessing or Curse (Part 6)

Then, breaking the heavy silence, Ria’s voice was heard.

“I have so many things I want to do here.”

“…”

“I want to meet Serena, I have things to give you, I want to go to the bustling streets with you again…”

Even though her words seemed out of place, her slow, trembling voice made them listen quietly.

“Thanks to you, I’ve been happy and content until now.”

Ria barely lifted the corners of her mouth. Her trembling hand clung to Kahin’s sleeve as if holding onto a lifeline.

“Because of you, I’ve come to appreciate my power. Where I used to live, people only looked at me strangely. I couldn’t use it, and there was no one who needed it, but you called it a blessing.”

“…”

“So, I’m going to think of it as a blessing now. If it weren’t for this ability, we wouldn’t have met. This ability guided me to you. Because you… because you needed me.”

“Ria…”

“Yes. So, it’s okay. When you’re by my side, my ability is a blessing. It’s not useless, and it’s not a curse that people point fingers at. It’s a blessing that doesn’t get fearful looks.”

Her words gradually became like a mantra she was repeating to herself. Memories she didn’t want to recall kept surfacing because of a dream.

When she was very young, she had once used her healing ability, fascinated and proud of it. She wanted to be praised by her parents and to see the sparkling eyes of the people. But what she got in return was horrified expressions as if they had seen a monster and strict reprimands that she should never use it.

Even her younger sibling, whose body had been healed by her ability, sometimes looked at her with fearful eyes. Her parents favored her sibling over her. It wasn’t about whether her ability was good or bad; it was the sense of rejection caused by the gap created by her being different from them.

And yet, when she didn’t use her ability, they treated her as a daughter, as a sister. They did not know that this behavior only pushed her deeper into despair. The unpleasant glances behind the charity given like false hope persistently strangled her, making her feel like her existence was denied.

It was because of this that she thoroughly hid her ability from friends with whom she had a good connection. She was afraid that the looks she would get when she told the truth would be the same.

But these people were different. Perhaps that’s why she didn’t think about wanting to go back more and more. It might be why the number of times she thought about Korea and her friends there decreased rapidly.

“I want to live by your side. I want to live without recalling those looks while being with those who need me. So please, please don’t look at me like that too…”

For someone who had always been conscious of people’s gazes, it wasn’t difficult for her to read the fear in their eyes. Although what they feared was the situation where her ability would consume her, Ria, who had only experienced people fearing her ability and herself, thought this was the case again.

It was then that they realized their mistake.

In their fear of losing Ria, they hadn’t considered the gazes she had endured. They hadn’t noticed how her face would brighten every time they liked her ability.

Technically, it wasn’t their fault. Ria, who had been trying hard to forget those things, naturally wouldn’t talk about them, and they couldn’t know unless she told them. But such things didn’t matter to them.

Kahin, who had pulled back a bit, wiped the tears flowing down her cheeks with his hand. It was only then that Ria realized she was crying.

“We were afraid it would put you in danger, Ria. We should have explained that. We’re sorry. We weren’t thinking.”

Seeing her trembling body and silent tears, their hearts ached terribly. They couldn’t even begin to imagine how many such gazes she had endured.

“We were wrong. So stop crying, okay? You’ve only just woken up; you might collapse again.”

Eden knelt beside her, apologizing and expressing his concern, trying to soothe her. Hearing the worried tone, Ria tried to stop crying by pressing her now red eyes, but it wasn’t easy since the tears weren’t flowing by her own will.

Eventually, her body, which hadn’t properly consumed nutrients and had been lying down for a while, gave in to exhaustion and dragged her into sleep.

After laying her back on the bed and covering her with the blanket, Kahin gently brushed the still-wet tear stains with his thumb.

“…We need to protect her.”

Cherta, who had been sitting by her bedside and gently stroking her hair, muttered to himself after a while. Then, in a voice filled with certainty, he spoke again.

“We always intended to protect her from all threats, so we’ll just keep doing that.”

“His Highness is right. I don’t want to see her cry so painfully again.”

“We should be careful of anything that could trigger her abilities.”

“According to the precautions on the medicine bottle, as long as it doesn’t directly affect her internally, it’s okay.”

A determined look filled their eyes.

Yes, they would protect her. If they lacked information, they would find it somehow, and if something seemed dangerous, they would eliminate it. That had been their plan all along.

Even if her ability tried to take her away from them, they would risk their lives to stop it. They would never let her cry so painfully again.

***

‘What did I say!’

A day later, as her mind cleared, Ria curled up in embarrassment and buried herself under the blanket. She couldn’t remember exactly what she had rambled about, but she distinctly recalled talking about being called a monster or being pointed at. 

‘Why!’

‘Ugh. I’m not a kid…’

She wanted to turn back time and stop herself from saying those things.

“My lady?”

At that moment, she froze at Kahin’s voice coming from outside the blanket. She instinctively held her breath.

“Are you awake?”

“……”

“How are you feeling?”

She wanted to lower the blanket and tell him she was fine, but she was too embarrassed to show her face. However, as she hesitated, he called for the doctor, prompting her to hurriedly lower the blanket.

“The doctor!”

“K-kahin! I’m fine!”

She had momentarily forgotten how overly protective they were.

“Are you really okay?”

“Yes, yes. I’m really okay. I could do that simple exercise we did back then right now.”

As Ria moved around to prove she was healthy, Kahin gently held her and reluctantly nodded.

“But you still shouldn’t exercise yet.”

Since she didn’t really intend to exercise, Ria obediently agreed. When Kahin silently carried her to the bathroom, the waiting maids came in to assist her. Kahin waited outside for a while until a maid informed him that they were finished, and he came back inside.

While waiting for her meal, Ria couldn’t bring herself to properly look at him as they sat side by side, her eyes darting nervously.

“What about… the others?”

“All three have gone to the imperial palace.”

“Oh.”

Thank goodness. If she had to face all four of them in this situation, she would have died of embarrassment.

Kahin noticed Ria’s visible relief, and his well-ordered eyebrows arched slightly as he tilted his head and looked at her. He had a feeling that she had been avoiding his gaze since earlier, and it wasn’t just his imagination.

In fact, when he heard her story yesterday, despite his worry, guilt, and pity, his heart felt full. Looking at her tear-streaked face as she slept, his heart ached with sorrow, yet he was elated that she had finally shared her story with him.

How sweet it was to hear her say she wanted to live by their side.

But now she was suddenly trying to distance herself, which was quite irritating.

“My lady.”

Kahin leaned down, bringing his face right next to hers. Startled, she flinched in his embrace. After several moments of hesitation, she slowly turned her head towards him, their noses almost touching, and their eyes met.

She hadn’t expected this; her round eyes widened. As she instinctively tried to pull back, Kahin quickly held her. His strong arm wrapped around her slender waist, pulling her closer.

In an instant, they were close enough to feel each other’s breath.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

At his direct question, Ria’s mouth opened slightly. She hadn’t expected him to ask so bluntly.

“I felt like I was going to die while you were unconscious. And now that you’re awake, you’re avoiding me. It’s too painful. Do you dislike me now? Do you find me uncomfortable? Or do you hate me because I couldn’t protect you?”

Known for being the epitome of a taciturn and earnest knight, he rarely spoke more than necessary or beat around the bush. But when it came to her, things were different. Ria was his one exception.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I will risk my life to ensure this never happens again.”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Then please, don’t avoid me.”

His strong-willed green eyes contrasted with his large body, which seemed deflated like a sad puppy. Ria couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, imagining dog ears drooping over his head.

“My lady?”

Even as he spoke with confusion in his voice, Ria bent over, laughing for a while before reaching out her arms.

Watching him fret had erased all her embarrassment. She realized there was no need to feel embarrassed in front of people who consistently put her first. After all, yesterday, they had been busy comforting her as she cried uncontrollably.

“No, I was just embarrassed. I think I said some strange things while I was out of it yesterday. So I was too embarrassed to face you.”

“Strange things? Not at all.”

“Yeah, I know now. I understand it clearly now.”

Ria hugged his waist and nestled into his chest. Feeling the solid, secure embrace, her restless mind and heart calmed down.

‘Deciding to live by your side was probably inevitable. How could I leave those who care so much for me?’

She rubbed her face into his chest like a child seeking comfort, and Kahin, with a beaming smile, held her tightly. The sound of his heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears.

‘My place is here. Not anywhere else, but right here.’

Preparing to live well even if alone was like the desperate struggle she had always faced in Korea. The anxiety and loneliness that had accumulated since her grandfather passed away had only worsened after coming here.

But they kept embracing her. They always brought so much love that it pushed away her anxiety and loneliness. She realized now that her heart had begun to fill with their abundant affection.

They wouldn’t leave her alone. She didn’t have to struggle by herself anymore. A sense of relief gently wrapped around Ria’s heart.

“Kahin.”

When Ria called him, lifting her head, Kahin met her gaze. Despite their significant height difference, he looked down at her with a gentle smile, showing no sign of discomfort.

“My ability… it’s a blessing, right?”

His green eyes reflected only her, and without a moment’s hesitation, his lips gave her the answer she wanted.

“Yes. It’s a blessing.”

At that moment, Kahin saw her smile brighter than ever before.

Ria released her hold on his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck. With a gentle pull, Kahin lowered his head without a word. Their lips met softly.

Kahin thought it was the sweetest kiss they had ever shared.