| Chapter 7

He is a priest, and priests are beings who guide people to God’s embrace. Of course, he somehow gave off a different vibe from other priests, but still, I hoped he would listen to my childish blame, even if just for a moment.

Perhaps curious about my words, he slowed his pace. Naturally falling in step beside him, I started rambling.

“I don’t usually go to places like theaters. I’ve never even thought about mingling with people. But you said it, didn’t you? To observe with my own eyes. And if I didn’t like that, to just live with a man without money.”

Displeased with the accusation I was trying to pin on him, he furrowed his straight eyebrows. My voice grew smaller.

“So, whether I liked it or not, I thought I’d take a look around, and…”

“And then?”

I was about to close my mouth, thinking it was an unreasonable blame on others, but he asked again. Seemingly interested in my story.

“What happened?”

What was contained in those clear, refreshing green eyes didn’t seem like mere curiosity. It was too serious and heavy for that. Encouraged by his attentive attitude towards my story, I moved my lips.

“I almost had something bad done to me by a drunk man.”

Only after saying it out loud did shame wash over me, and I lowered my head. Then, his shoes came into view. His feet seemed about twice the size of mine, and he was wearing something like boots that came up to his ankles, not the leather shoes that priests usually wear.

“Is that all?”

An indifferent voice fell from above my head. A bitter sigh escaped me without realizing it. I bit my lip and widened my eyes.

“That’s right. I suppose it’s not a big deal. It’s too common for a powerless child like me to experience such things. But at least shouldn’t you, as a priest, not be like that? I may not know the prayers, but doesn’t it say that God cherishes and loves all his creations? Is everything the monks shout every day in the square just nonsense…!”

“Little one.”

He called me in a low voice, as if to suppress my increasingly loud voice. Tears were flowing again from my heated eyes, but my breath naturally calmed at the light touch on one of my shoulders.

His calm eyes looked into mine as he bent slightly at the waist. It was hard to meet his gaze due to a strange sense of pressure, but I forcibly strained my eyes.

“Is there anything else that stands out in your memory besides that?”

“What, the naked pr*stitutes dancing and seducing men? The toothless man breathing fire like a dragon? The monkey on stage throwing balls while riding a unicycle?”

As I glared at him, panting with resentment, his gaze slowly softened as he watched me quietly. He straightened up with a “Hmm,” as if he had lost interest, and started walking ahead again.

“God cannot save you. Only you can move for yourself. No matter how many prayers you recite, it won’t prevent bad things from happening to you.”

His languid voice, carrying a soft air and clear in pronunciation, automatically draws one’s attention. Though I didn’t want to follow, I couldn’t not follow either, so I moved my feet with a grimace.

“Instead of experiencing something like today, you could live by flattering rich men, or throw yourself off a cliff resenting the world. You could live using an honest but poor man as a shield, or kill a disgusting man and face execution.”

His words, as if reading my mind, sent chills down my spine. He glanced at me and added,

“There aren’t many choices, but they’re not entirely absent either.”

Even if there were a hundred or a thousand, they’re all unwelcome choices, aren’t they? I let out a bitter laugh.

“What about becoming a nun?”

When I blurted this out, the corner of his lips curved up slightly.

“That’s one of the choices too.”

“It’s so unfair.”

I sneered, clutching my tattered skirt hem.

“If you’re born a noble, you can live comfortably without doing anything. Their daily life is just pretending to be elegant, waving fans while dressed up. And they’re not even that great.”

He suddenly stopped walking, and I stopped with him. His eyes were round, surprised, as he turned to look at me.

“That’s not the kind of thought a little one should have.”

“I’m seventeen, you know? Wouldn’t ‘lady’ be more fitting than ‘little one’?”

As I shot back sharply, he who had been staring at me burst into laughter with a “pfft.” Feeling triumphant at having made him laugh when he had seemed so stiff and cold, I shrugged my shoulders, and he spoke with a smile still on his lips.

“Watch your mouth. If the administrators heard you, they’d arrest you for treason right away.”

My gaze, suddenly lost, wandered around the ground. He said with a crooked smile,

“Life is inherently unfair. If you can’t accept that, you’ll be miserable for life. Still, it seems you weren’t born completely empty-handed.”

“Me? What exactly is in my hands when I’m serving in someone else’s house without even a family?”

As I showed my open palms mockingly, he turned around slowly. The wind blew, but the hem of his cloak hardly moved. It must be quite heavy.

How does he walk around wearing something like that? Come to think of it, wasn’t the blanket-like cloak I accidentally wore at the theater just like that?

As I tilted my head, I suddenly felt his long gaze.

Once I became aware of it, the silence gradually turned into tension settling on my shoulders. The wordless gaze was burdensome, yet strangely, it made my heart flutter and feel good.

I liked those pretty eyes focused on me. Although the words that came out were not at all friendly.

“If that’s what you think, you’ll always be empty-handed. Finding that is also your job to do.”

After finishing his words impassively, he started walking again with wider strides. I stared blankly at his figure and then followed, grumbling.

“…What kind of priest are you? ‘Everything depends on how you do it.’ I could say that too.”

“Then become a nun. So, where’s your house?”

I looked up at his question and was surprised. Mrs. Almon’s house was already in sight.

It seemed much farther on the way there, but coming back was quick.

“It’s over there. I can go alone from here.”

I actually wanted to ask him to escort me to the door, but seeing him stop with his arms crossed as if about to turn away at any moment, I naturally took a step back. His green eyes, darkened by the night, spoke sternly.

“Don’t ever go to the theater again.”

“I wasn’t planning to anyway.”

As I retorted grumpily, I heard a sound of a short laugh. The unpleasant feeling that had dominated my entire body seemed like a thing of another day, much lighter now. I hesitated and then carefully asked,

“If I go to the temple, can I see you again?”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before shaking his head lightly.

“Don’t come if you’re just going to make half-hearted confessions.”

“Is it okay to come if I kill someone?”

When I asked deliberately, he immediately frowned and let out a short sigh, running his hand through his hair. Looking at me with a rather displeased face, he soon let out a hollow laugh.

“You need to watch that mouth of yours, little one. Your wit and quick thinking seem to outpace your speech.”

His words, as he waved his hand like he was shooing away an annoying insect, stuck deep in my mind. Along with a smile that unexpectedly made him look like a mischievous boy.

Blinking my wide eyes, I quickly reached out my hand as I saw him about to turn away.

“Hey.”

As I grabbed the hem of his cloak, he turned his head. A thick, rough texture. It seemed to be the same cloak that had covered me in the theater.

I could feel him looking at me with puzzled eyes as I slowly pulled the cloak hem in my hand and buried my nose in it. As I took a deep breath, I slyly rolled my eyes to look at the back of his hand. On the protruding knuckles, there were dried bloodstains that hadn’t been wiped off completely.

It must be that man’s blood. That man who breathed disgusting breaths.

A lukewarm warmth spread in a corner of my chest. Something similar to laughter was about to escape between my teeth. I opened my mouth, suppressing the rising emotion.

“Thank you for saving me at the theater.”

“Well…”

His tone sounded flustered, as if he thought I wouldn’t know that he was the same person who had beaten and chased away the drunk man who had been groping my body. I let go of the cloak and looked up at him, speaking softly.

“But I don’t think a priest should be in such a place at such a time either.”

The green eyes that had seemed cold and unfriendly wavered slightly. I felt the corners of my mouth lifting as I started running towards the house.

“You, I don’t know what misunderstanding you have, but that wasn’t me, hey, little one.”

“My name is Lucienne!”

After shouting loudly, I ran feeling the wind.

Mrs. Almon’s house, shrouded in darkness, looked like a collapsing abandoned house as always, but I didn’t mind going there. My heart was pounding.

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