Chapter 4 Part 3

Not realizing she had had a relatively long conversation with Gihyun, Minjoo slowly walked toward the sea. The foam from the waves came close to her toes and then retreated.

Then a sudden wave soaked the tips of her sneakers, quickly wetting her socks. But Minjoo didn’t move and stayed lost in thought.

What would it be like if I went into the water? Would it be fun like before, or…

The receding wave gathered force and came back more vigorously. This time, her shoes didn’t get wet. Gihyun had pulled her back. Unlike the calm Minjoo, Gihyun was out of breath, his hair tousled by the wind.

“Let’s go.”

“Already?”

“You’ll freeze. Let’s find a place to watch the sea indoors.”

Gihyun was a capricious man. Minjoo followed him back to the car, and they found a large two-story seafood restaurant. There, Minjoo was finally able to warm up and enjoy the view of the winter sea while feasting on a lavish spread of raw fish. Gihyun insisted she eat until her pants felt tight, saying she needed to replenish her nutrition.

After the meal and the uneventful outing, they got back into the car. As he drove, Gihyun spoke up.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“…About what?”

“If you’re still interested, how about getting a diploma?”

“A diploma in what?”

“To become a kindergarten teacher, daycare teacher, or childcare provider. You could go to college and get the qualifications.”

Minjoo’s eyes widened at the unexpected suggestion. When she was twenty, she had aimed for a career in that field, but that was a long time ago. Daily struggles and battling depression had forced her to abandon her dreams. She was startled by Gihyun’s sudden proposal, feeling as if he had uncovered her long-buried aspirations. She realized Gihyun remembered more about her than she had thought, but she couldn’t discern his true intentions. It seemed like another whim or an empty promise, so she didn’t respond.

Returning to Seoul, Gihyun parked the car at a bookstore. He entered and headed straight for the section with exam preparation books. Picking out some promising-looking reference and problem books, he handed them to Minjoo. Seeing her standing there, unsure, he changed his approach. He grabbed one of each type and went straight to the checkout.

With a box full of books, Gihyun made his way to the parking lot. Only then did Minjoo speak up.

“I’ve been out of school for so long. If I start again, it’ll take at least two or three years.”

“Consider it prenatal education.”

“Even if I pass, I won’t have the time to attend school.”

“I’ve already made time for you. We have a caregiver, and you quit your job.”

She couldn’t understand why Gihyun was doing this. Why go to such lengths?

“Is it so important for me to have a college degree?”

“I want you to do something you like.”

“…”

“Stop looking so gloomy.”

Even if she managed to pass and get into college, the tuition fees and how she would handle university life seemed daunting. Gihyun noticed her brief hesitation.

“Should I add it to the contract? The tuition fees?”

“Aren’t you investing too much?”

“Let’s just say I have a conviction that my child’s mother must be a college graduate.”

His words were almost ridiculous. As Minjoo stood speechless, he added more.

“There’s a condition.”

“What’s this time?”

“Go to a women’s university. No co-ed schools. I think that’s a reasonable demand.”

“Is that really important?”

“It’d be problematic if you ended up pregnant with someone else’s kid during college, right?”

Gihyun put the book in the trunk. The conversation ended there.

***

Minjoo didn’t have a desk in her room, so she sat at her vanity table, staring blankly at the workbook Gihyun had bought for her. After a while, she flipped through the pages, skimming them with her eyes. It had been a long time since she had studied, so she remembered very little. Still, she read through it word by word, getting a feel for it. She found a pen and began checking the answers. She completed a page like that.

With an excited heart, she checked the answer key. All but one were correct. She reviewed the explanation for the one she got wrong and looked over the concepts in the book again. She was so absorbed that she didn’t notice the housekeeper bringing in a snack.

“Have some while you study.”

“Thank you.”

“Your eyes are sparkling. Maybe studying suits you.”

Minjoo gave a faint smile. After the housekeeper left, she continued to look at the workbook. Sitting for long periods didn’t feel difficult. She enjoyed learning something new. For the first time in a while, she felt lively.

When her concentration began to wane, she heard the door open. Gihyun had entered. Minjoo awkwardly stood up, thinking he might want to be intimate. Gihyun just stared at Minjoo’s face.

“Are you managing okay?”

“…Yes.”

“Keep going.”

Minjoo sat back down. Gihyun stood next to the vanity table. His previously intense demeanor had calmed down over the past few days.

Thinking he would leave soon, Minjoo tried to focus on solving the problems again. However, Gihyun’s gaze traveled slowly over her hand holding the pen, her wrist, shoulder, and everything in between. It was so intense that she almost preferred he just flip her over and have s*x; it would have been less nerve-wracking.

He stood there like a statue, just watching her. Despite their intimate physical relationship, he maintained a cautious distance.

“Shall we go buy a desk?”

“……”

“And a chair.”

“……”

“Where should we put them? In this room? Or the living room? The living room gets better sunlight.”

Gihyun spoke as if he was furnishing a newlywed home.

Minjoo wanted to say there was no need to spend so much money, but she knew that resisting Gihyun’s whims would only exhaust her.

In the end, she let herself be led to a department store. He told her to choose whatever she liked. Minjoo ran her hand over a wooden desk. It was beautifully colored. It felt warm, and she just stared at it. It was purchased without hesitation. Gihyun recommended an ergonomic chair, saying it was the same kind he used at work.

He made Minjoo sit in several chairs, closely observing her subtle facial expressions. He caught the one where her expression softened the most and bought that chair.

The shopping trip ended quickly. But instead of heading to the parking lot, Gihyun took the escalator. They went down to the section with luxury brands and stopped at a famous jewelry store.

“Pick something.”

“…Why?”

“I have someone to give it to.”

She remembered how excited she had been the last time she chose a gift, thinking it was for herself, only to find out it was for Yoonjung. This time, she had no expectations. She just stood there, staring blankly at the jewelry inside the glass display cases.

Diamonds set in rings, necklaces, and bracelets were on display. Minjoo recalled how her mother had once said it would be nice to have just one necklace that matched her clothes. The light reflecting off the jewelry and her own reflection in the glass felt blinding. The stark contrast between Gihyun, who could have anything he wanted, and herself, who had nothing to give, made her heart sink.

Seeing that she was just staring and not going into the store, Gihyun pointed.

“Do you like that one?”

“No.”

“Then?”

“I can’t choose.”

“Pick them all. I can buy you a lot.”

The way Gihyun said he would buy them for her made Minjoo look at him. He stood still, indicating that she was the intended recipient. Minjoo gazed at the diamonds sadly.

“I don’t want anything for myself.”

“You’ve been looking at these for a while.”

“Not for me… I wanted to give them to my mom.”

“……”

“There are so many beautiful things in the world, and I couldn’t give her any. I should have gotten them for her sooner.”

She imagined her mother wearing the necklace, proudly showing it off to her friends, saying her daughter gave it to her. But the imagination quickly dissolved into reality—her mother lying on a white hospital bed with swollen hands, unconscious. Tears welled up in Minjoo’s eyes.

“I need to use the restroom.”

Minjoo excused herself and wiped her damp eyes in the restroom. The pointless luxury made her feel guilty.

After she calmed her sinking heart, she left the restroom. Gihyun was waiting nearby. When Minjoo came out, he walked silently. The ride back home was filled with silence again.

Back home, Minjoo sat on the bed, hugging her legs. She felt inexplicably exhausted. Gihyun entered the room. He placed a large shopping bag on the side table.

“If you won’t wear it, give it to your mother.”

“……”

“When she regains consciousness and recovers.”

She realized the necklace they had looked at earlier was in the bag. She was about to say it wasn’t necessary when Gihyun quickly added.

“To hold onto the hope of giving her something nice.”

With those words, he left the room. Minjoo stared blankly at the door he closed behind him. Then, she got up and picked up the shopping bag.

Inside the large shopping bag were several smaller ones. She opened one, finding a red brick-colored box inside. In the box was a set of clear diamond jewelry: a necklace, earrings, and a ring—the very pieces she had imagined giving her mother.

She opened another small bag from the large one. It also contained a brick-colored box. This time, there was a tiny diamond ring inside. It seemed too out of place to be for her mother. Its design was different, almost like an engagement ring.

She gazed at the sparkling ring for a moment before putting it back in the bag.

Minjoo headed to the vanity. She opened her workbook and tried to focus on the problems. But her concentration faltered, and thoughts of Gihyun kept intruding. She wondered why he had bought her the jewelry. Was it an apology for the past?

The lead in her mechanical pencil broke. She pressed down the back of the pencil to extend more lead. Then, she got up and opened her closet. Among the clothes Gihyun had bought her, the pure white dress she had worn to the hotel stood out. She also remembered the white shoes she had worn with it. Now, the ring from today seemed to complete the set.

Minjoo closed the closet door and sat back down at the vanity. She picked up the mechanical pencil. Once again, she fell into deep thought.

Among the many choices, which one was the right answer?

Especially when it came to questions involving Gihyun.

To call it love now didn’t make sense.