Chapter 8 Part 2

“Were you ever happy to be with me? It’s better for you to live without me.”

Gihyun was the only one speaking.

“Think of me as dead. You’re a good person, so you should find someone better than me…”

With a thud, Gihyun’s face turned away. Minjoo, who had initially shown some reaction, just cried. Gihyun, almost unconsciously, tried to embrace Minjoo.

“I knew I loved you more.”

But hearing Minjoo’s words, he could no longer approach her.

“…Still, I thought you liked me a little…. Even when I heard you were waiting for Kang Yoonjung…. Even when you asked me to choose a gift instead of Kang Yoonjung…. I thought… you didn’t like Kang Yoonjung more than me…”

“……”

“But how could you do this to me…”

“……”

“Not because of another woman… just say you’ve always disliked me from the beginning…”

Overwhelmed, Minjoo sobbed uncontrollably, covering her face with her hands.

“…Take care.”

Leaving the sound of her crying behind, Gihyun turned and walked away.

As he closed the door to Minjoo’s apartment behind him, he rationalized his actions. It was for the best. Cha Minjoo was a good woman. She would be fine no matter whom she met.

But a sudden question arose. Could Park Gihyun live well no matter whom he met? At that point, he didn’t have an answer.

Gihyun turned around again. He faced Minjoo’s studio apartment but didn’t go back inside.

Suddenly, a heavy rain began to fall. Still, he couldn’t leave. Soaked by the rain, he stared at Minjoo’s lit room, unable to move. 

What if Minjoo had been the one pregnant instead of Yoonjung? Would he have stayed by Cha Minjoo’s side? Such meaningless hypotheticals passed fleetingly through his mind.

***

After the breakup, Gihyun never encountered Minjoo again. He looked for her every time he passed by the Humanities Building, but he couldn’t see her face. He didn’t have time to wait around either, as Yoonjung kept calling him out, claiming to be tired.

Their frequent appearances together led to all sorts of rumors among their peers. They were described as a handsome couple, or people commented openly about them being mismatched. Occasionally, someone asked what had happened with Cha Minjoo. Each time, Gihyun remained silent.

Although he had lived without much thought before, he now felt a heavy sense of responsibility. With the child in mind, there were many expenses. Gihyun searched for part-time jobs. If he didn’t stay busy, thoughts of Minjoo kept resurfacing. He was the one who initiated the breakup and the one who cooled things off, yet he couldn’t understand why she kept coming to mind. He consoled himself by thinking it was because she was a woman with whom he had shared daily life.

“Isn’t there something like an officetel? A fully equipped place. The current place is inconvenient.”

Yoonjung talked about finding a place to live. She suggested that securing a residence was more urgent than visiting her parents in the provinces. Gihyun replied dryly.

“Just wait a bit longer.”

“There’s no need to wait. Can’t you get help from your father? Isn’t his family capable of arranging a house quickly?”

Gihyun mumbled without even looking at Yoonjung, who was sitting across from him.

“It’s none of my concern.”

“Why is it none of your concern?”

“We’ve cut ties.”

“Parent-child relationships don’t end so easily.”

“Doesn’t that man tell you? Last year, Professor Park, I saw him for the first time in my life. A man who told me not to act familiar with his newly discovered son and said his wife handles the finances—what do you think he’ll do?”

“I heard your mother passed away.”

“He has a wife and a legitimate son. A legal wife and a legitimate son.”

“……”

“I’m the child of a mistress. No, not even a mistress. I’m not even on the family registry.”

“……”

“The family that abandoned me and my mother. They didn’t even show their faces until the moment of my mother’s death. No one will be happy about having a grandson. There’s nothing to be gained.”

Yoonjung’s face lost all expression. Her emotionless face looked at Gihyun. He spoke with a calm demeanor.

“I’ll take responsibility alone, so stop talking about it. I don’t intend to seek support or acknowledge it in the future. I’ll handle the child myself…”

“That’s funny, Park Gihyun.”

Yoonjung responded with a hollow laugh and made her point clearly.

“Responsibility is settled with money.”

“……”

“I can’t live with a beggar.”

Yoonjung stood up abruptly. Gihyun also got up but soon sank back into his seat. His head began to throb.

After that, Yoonjung did not contact him again.

***

Gihyun stared at his phone. It had been a week since he had heard from Yoonjung. He hadn’t reached out either. He didn’t go to school because he didn’t want to hear the gossip. He had spent several days lying in his room, drifting in and out of sleep, occasionally thinking about how Minjoo was doing after their breakup.

The phone rang in the small room. He checked immediately, hoping it might be Minjoo, but it was an unknown number. He left the phone alone, but the ringing persisted.

Unable to tolerate it any longer, Gihyun picked up the phone. He considered the possibility of it being a prank, a wrong number, or spam, but he entertained the vain hope that it might be Minjoo calling from a borrowed phone. Gihyun answered the call.

“Hello?”

– Park Gihyun!

The elongated voice was that of a man. Knowing his name ruled out a prank call. Gihyun waited instead of hanging up.

– Hey, Park Gihyun!

“Who is this?”

– Me? It’s me…. Changseok.

Gihyun was exasperated. He wondered why a stranger was drunk-calling him. Then it dawned on him. Changseok was the guy who had been trailing Yoonjung. It was clear that he didn’t like seeing Yoonjung with Gihyun. Just as Gihyun was about to hang up with a sigh, Changseok continued.

– Do you think Yoonjung liked you for who you are? She’s gone crazy because you’re the grandson of the Seyoung Group and the son of a professor.

“…….”

– Yoonjung is my woman. I liked her first!

Seeing Gihyun’s lack of reaction, Changseok began to rage. The mention of his father’s story triggered Gihyun’s interest.

“So, what does that mean?”

– You don’t know what’s going on…? While you were passed out, I was with her, you bastard… She took drugs that made her unable to get an er*ction, so she was with me…

“…What drugs?”

– …Do you even know what water drugs are…? Yoonjung took what was mine… You… made her crazy… asking her to come to my house… It was her.

“…….”

– …But Yoonjung is still mine. You’re just with her for the money…

The conversation was disjointed, but Gihyun got the gist of it.

He recalled why he was so heavily drunk that day Yoonjung was with him, why he was unconscious, and why Yoonjung was by his side.

Though it was just drunken rambling, Gihyun had a gut feeling that Changseok’s words were true. He hung up the phone without saying anything and immediately called Won-jun to get all the contact information he could. He inquired about Yoonjung’s whereabouts. Once he learned her location, he dressed properly and went out.

“Yoonjung, your boyfriend is here?”

Gihyun found Yoonjung in a small alley outside the club. One of the women with Yoonjung noticed him first. Leaning against the wall, Yoonjung looked up, her long hair falling over her face. She was visibly drunk, her face flushed even under the yellow streetlight. Gihyun motioned to the woman standing beside her.

“Move aside.”

“What, are you here for a lovers’ quarrel?”

The woman laughed mockingly but showed no intention of leaving. Only after Yoonjung waved her off did the friend head back towards the club building. Yoonjung brushed her hair back and forced a smile at Gihyun.

“What’s up? You came without even calling?”

“…A woman with a baby comes to a club?”

“Should I be going to a temple instead if I’m pregnant?”

“Let’s go. We need to talk.”

Gihyun reached out to grab Yoonjung’s hand to lead her away. She pulled her hand back sharply, glaring at him.

“This is funny. If you want to take me away, you should have brought a car.”

Yoonjung, usually strong when drunk, collapsed onto the sidewalk. Gihyun approached her and lifted her by the shoulders. He needed to ask the question he had been dreading.

“Let’s go to the hospital. We need to check if the baby is still there.”

“It’s not there.”

The feeling of nerves being cut off was sudden.

“…Why is it not there?”

“Don’t you know? Early pregnancies often end in miscarriage.”

“So you’re drinking and acting like this after a miscarriage?”

“Should I cry and make a fuss if I lost the baby?”

Yoonjung continued to laugh. Her attitude, showing no sign of regret or pain, made Gihyun’s voice turn colder as he pressed her.

“Tell me clearly.”

“What?”

“Was it there and then gone? Or was it never there from the start?”

Even under the pressure, Yoonjung only continued to laugh. She recited with her drooping eyes.

“Gihyun, I really like your shell…”

“……”

“I don’t want to have a baby with a poor bastard.”

“……”

“If you were the grandson of a chaebol family, I would have a baby no matter what.”

His fingertips grew cold.

“If you’re not the grandson of that family, then there’s no baby…”

Gihyun withdrew his hand from Yoonjung. He looked at the woman who resembled his mother more than anyone else, even in her drunken state, which made Gihyun vulnerable.

It was then that he realized why he had tried to resolve his guilt about his deceased mother through someone who resembled her. How futile and meaningless it was.

Gihyun laughed bitterly. It was so ridiculous that he couldn’t bear it. Both the situation and himself. Yoonjung watched Gihyun, who was laughing in despair. Gihyun, having wiped the smile off his face, cast a look of deep disgust at Yoonjung. He didn’t exchange any words. Leaving Yoonjung behind, he turned away.

It seemed like Yoonjung called out to him. Still, he did not look back.

***

After implicitly ending things with Yoonjung, the first person Gihyun thought of was Minjoo. However, he didn’t realize how much courage it would take to contact her. Gihyun fidgeted with his phone, typing and deleting messages to Minjoo repeatedly. He felt pathetic, but he still wanted to say something. Yet, he wondered what it would mean.