Chapter 3.1 – Well, It Was Kind of Like That

“…Hah.”

Dania lay crumpled on her bed, letting out a deep sigh.

Why had I let things turn out that way?

There was no one else she could blame. It was her own fault for getting caught up in it.

In truth, her friendship with Luel Marchento had always been like that for nearly twenty years.

〈Dania, let’s go to the academy together. If I say I’m going because of you, my parents will definitely allow it.〉

The young master of the Marchento Earldom had always caused her trouble with his charming smile and pretty face since they were young. He would coax her into all sorts of mischief.

They’d sneak into the orchard to steal apples and get caught.

They’d pick the blue roses that George cherished so dearly and get caught.

They’d secretly take the large hunting dog tied at the ranger’s post into the forest and get caught.

They’d skip the tutoring lessons generously arranged by the Countess of Marchento and get caught.

They’d even steal a bottle from the Earl’s prized whiskey collection, drink it all, and get caught.

Caught, caught, and caught again.

Of course, Luel would get scolded by the Earl and Countess, but Dania would be reprimanded on the spot and then scolded again at home. After all, what kind of behavior was it for the daughter of a bishop to steal fruit, skip lessons, and drink stolen alcohol because the young master told her to?

Each time, she swore she wouldn’t fall for Luel’s coaxing again, but time and time again, she found herself easily swept up by him.

Just like how Luel had followed her to the Holy Academy simply because he thought it would be “fun” if she went there.

However, their friendship wasn’t entirely one-sided.

Luel, too, had a soft spot for her. That’s why, when a despondent Dania suddenly demanded that he buy her alcohol, he canceled his plans and spent the entire evening listening to her woes. He comforted her, took her to his home, and let her stay the night.

And yet, despite being surrounded by beautiful young ladies from noble families, he had only kissed her.

Perhaps it was out of pity for her—a girl who had lived a dull life, adhering to outdated morals, and was now on the verge of losing even her chance to pass the priesthood qualification exam.

‘No, that’s not it.’

No, it wasn’t.

She had been the one caught up in it.

She had told him to stop several times. She had said she didn’t need to know. But Luel hadn’t stopped.

Just as their friendship had always been, that night, too, it was Dania who had been swept along.

Otherwise…

〈Dania, ah, this is so beautiful. It’s as red as your cheeks.〉

The memory of Luel teasing her, his face vivid in her mind, refused to leave her. The lingering intoxication and the pleasure that had turned her brain to mush made it impossible to forget.

Yes, he had teased her.

There was no other explanation for it. Otherwise, the young master of the Marchento Earldom, whom everyone at the academy considered beautiful, wouldn’t have looked at her body as if it were a masterpiece, his face lit with delight.

But…

The sensual curve of his lips, glistening with her essence; his reddened eyes, as if he had been excited by even a plain girl like her; the firm, large hands that had touched and caressed her chest and hips; his low voice, repeating “Dani, Dani,” the nickname only he called her at the academy; and his deep blue eyes, glowing with unfamiliar heat…

‘Ugh.’

Again.

Dania realized her underwear beneath her nightgown was damp with the fluids that had leaked out.

It was impossible not to notice. Every time she thought of Luel over the past few days, her body would react this way.

Even while Mikhail was helping her review her notes, all she could think about was Luel—specifically, his tightly closed lips, or more precisely, what those lips had done to her.

Distracted by the discomfort of her damp underwear, she had wasted Mikhail’s generous tutoring session. At home, after changing her underwear and reflecting on her actions, she found herself in the same situation again.

This was driving her mad.

Thinking back on that night always left her like this. A deep tremor would rise from somewhere below her navel, and her underwear, pressed against her most sensitive area, would grow wet.

It was impossible to stop herself from recalling the climaxes she had experienced in Luel’s mouth. Her body would respond instinctively.

Because of this, Dania had tried touching herself a few times. She thought that if she cl*maxed alone, she might at least be free from these lewd thoughts for the rest of the day. At this point, she had long abandoned the teachings of the Holy Church that warned against lust, especially since she couldn’t even be sure she’d pass her retake exams.

But even that didn’t work. m*sturbation had its limits—it was predictable, and she could stop whenever she wanted.

Maybe… I enjoyed being at the mercy of someone else?

With a bitter laugh at the absurd thought, Dania pulled her hand out of her underwear. Her attempts to relieve herself always ended in frustration. The heat in her lower body would fade quickly, leaving her unable to focus.

Just days ago, she hadn’t even known that kisses could involve tongues. Now, here she was, trying to soothe the heat below with her own hands.

God have mercy.

The worst part was that every time she tried, an itch deep inside her, where her fingers couldn’t reach, would torment her.

It had probably been the same that night with Luel, though she hadn’t realized it at the time. Overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sensations, she hadn’t had the presence of mind to analyze her feelings.

The more she tried to satisfy herself with her own hands, the more she realized she wanted something more. Something beyond what she could give herself.

She was doomed.

Her life was truly in shambles.

She was on the verge of failing her graduation exams, and now, because of a mistake with her childhood friend of twenty-one years, she couldn’t stop thinking about him, her body betraying her every time.

For him, it probably hadn’t meant much.

He had probably done it out of spite, just to tease her.

This sort of thing probably wasn’t special to him.

〈At the docks, sailors sell hallucinogens. They’re not addictive, but they have aphrodisiac effects. People drink and use them, then hook up with whoever they lock eyes with.〉

His stories would always end with a warning: ‘Dani, never go near those kinds of people.’ But the tales Luel shared about the party culture of noble students were scandalous enough to make her head spin.

‘I bet he hangs out with people like that.’

According to Luel, such parties were a normal part of life for those who came to the academy to enjoy their youth. Even though he had come to the academy for the same reason, his warnings to Dania had always lacked conviction.

To her, they sounded more like adventurous tales. Over the past five years, this had created an emotional distance between them. In her mind, she imagined Luel as one of the participants in those parties, indulging in the debauchery.

She hadn’t pictured him having s*x with anyone, but she often speculated about his relationships with certain young ladies she frequently saw him with—Lady Eren from the Kingdom of Langsen, Lady Bertling from the Duchy of Hoppenbach, or Lady Lambert from the Republic of Erang. These women were beautiful, sophisticated, and from prestigious families—nothing like her, a plain Theology student

Such a night must have meant very little to Luel. Perhaps it was nothing more than passing on a few adult behaviors to a childhood friend who was utterly ignorant of such matters. It could have been an act of charity toward someone as clueless as her—someone who had spent her life uninterested in trends or rebellion, instead dedicating herself to becoming a priest.

After all, the one who had truly enjoyed that night was, yes, undoubtedly her alone.

Though, for something so trivial, he had certainly been desperate, almost as if her essence were some sort of divine nectar. But considering Luel’s life of indulgence, wasn’t it possible for him to handle any woman with such ease? Without any involvement of feelings, without any connection to affection?