Strangely, his eyes grew hot, and Hae-wan rubbed them roughly with his cold hands. He couldn’t believe that at twenty-eight years old, he was acting like he had returned to that moment of his belated first love.

Moreover, just the fact that he had hated Hae-eon, who was no longer in this world, even for a brief moment made him feel crushing regret.

Hae-wan sniffled and put on the clothes in his hands. The cheap padding he had worn for so long he couldn’t even remember didn’t help much in warming his frozen body.

The path down while shivering couldn’t have felt longer.

* * *

After that, Hae-wan didn’t ask Yu-jun anything about Kang-hyun. Even when Yu-jun wanted to bring it up first, he would change the subject or leave for somewhere else.

Hae-eon’s request had only been to go to that arboretum, and Hae-wan had kept that promise. So there would be no reason to see Kang-hyun again, and there was no need for unnecessary emotional exhaustion.

But the more Hae-wan acted this way, the more Yu-jun seemed restless, like his mouth was itching to talk. Still, when Hae-wan stubbornly ignored him, Yu-jun eventually closed his mouth, though he looked like a puppy that needed to go to the bathroom.

Hae-wan truly thought that was enough. Life was already sufficiently tired and exhausting to be bound by something that happened eight years ago.

Hae-wan’s day started at 5 AM. He would go to work at the neighborhood gym at 5, clean and open up, then switch with the front desk part-timer who came at 7. After taking a nap until 10, he would go to work at the convenience store at 11 and work until 6. After returning home to eat dinner and rest a bit, he would do designated driving from 8 PM until 1 AM.

This was his weekday routine, and on weekends he worked at a barbecue restaurant from 10 AM to 7 PM doing serving and odd jobs. Because it was a place with high hourly wages but many customers, he was so busy he couldn’t catch his breath, sometimes feeling it was harder than weekdays.

The only day he rested was Wednesday, but even then he couldn’t sit still and would do deliveries on foot or by bicycle.

Working so desperately without rest was partly because of living expenses and debt, but also because he wanted to save money for tuition fees, hoping that Yu-jun, who was currently wandering around carelessly, would at least go to a technical college.

Besides being from the same orphanage, Yu-jun, who stayed by his side when Hae-wan was starved for affection, was already like a real younger brother to him. Moreover, in a situation where he couldn’t contact the orphanage due to the pheromone gland transplant surgery, Yu-jun’s very existence was a great comfort.

But whether Yu-jun knew Hae-wan’s feelings or not, he kept adding to his worries by riding motorcycles and hanging out all night with friends who looked like bad news, whom he had met while doing delivery part-time work.

It was a Saturday when the barbecue restaurant was particularly crowded. Hae-wan, tired to the point where he didn’t want to move a finger, pressed on his surgery site that throbbed especially when he was tired and opened the front door.

“Hyung, you’re back?”

Hearing the smell of pork belly filling the house and Yu-jun’s lively voice, Hae-wan’s eyes widened. A small table was already set up in front of the sink.

“What’s all this?”

“You seemed down lately, so I specially prepared this with my part-time pay.”

Yu-jun cutely helped Hae-wan take off his outer clothes and urged him to wash his hands and quickly sit at the table. Seeing his younger brother, who still looked like a child due to their significant age gap, had prepared this for him, Hae-wan couldn’t help but smile.

“You bought vegetables too? Vegetables must be expensive these days.”

At Hae-wan’s question, seeing various leafy vegetables laid out, Yu-jun answered cheerfully.

“Of course I bought them. You can’t eat much meat without vegetables.”

Grateful for his thoughtfulness, Hae-wan smiled broadly and ruffled Yu-jun’s hair.

It was a satisfying dinner time they’d had in a long while. Hae-wan, who was so weak with alcohol that Yu-jun teased him about being alcohol trash, rarely touched soju.

Yu-jun, who had been watching Hae-wan’s pale face turn red from just one glass of soju, suddenly spoke up.

“About Kang-hyun hyung.”

At the name he had been avoiding, Hae-wan hesitated. But not wanting to scold Yu-jun on such a pleasant evening, he just silently put the meat wrapped in lettuce into his mouth.

“You know his clothes, shoes, everything about him reeked of money? Especially his watch, that thing was really f*cking expensive. I thought watches costing a few tens of millions were the most expensive in the world, but seeing what Kang-hyun hyung wore, I learned that wasn’t true. It literally made me gasp.”

Hae-wan’s face hardened, uncomfortable with the unexpected direction of the conversation. Yu-jun continued speaking rapidly, paying no attention.

“Turns out that botanical garden we went to belongs to his family too.”

“Huh?”

At Hae-wan’s involuntary reaction, Yu-jun hurriedly answered.

“That botanical garden was made by something called the Seokyung Foundation, and that foundation belongs to Seokyung Industries. You know, right? The big company that makes cosmetics, shampoo, toothpaste and stuff. Even the shampoo we’re using now is from there.”

At a memory that suddenly crossed his mind, Hae-wan frowned. Come to think of it, he seemed to remember Hae-eon mentioning something about Kang-hyun being from a wealthy family.

But it was something he had completely forgotten until now, and he couldn’t understand why such a story needed to be told.

“Yu-jun. Why are you telling me this now?”

At Hae-wan’s puzzled tone, Yu-jun looked straight at him and said.

“The world is so unfair. Some crazy person is spouting stuff that only happens in dramas, saying he still loves someone he met eight years ago, and he was born into a good family…”

“Kim Yu-jun.”

Hae-wan deliberately put down his chopsticks with a loud clatter, cutting off Yu-jun’s words.

“I don’t really want to hear that kind of talk. I’m not interested in that person anymore.”

“…Aren’t you upset about having fifteen million won in debt?”

“What?”

“That’s not a debt you wanted to take on. It’s because of the surgery that Yoon Hae-eon, that bastard, forced on you.”

At the completely unpredictable flow of conversation, Hae-wan’s mouth fell open.

Thanks to coming up to Seoul and working diligently without rest, Hae-wan had savings close to thirty million won, but after quitting his job and taking care of Hae-eon until he passed away, almost none of that money remained.

In that situation, to receive the pheromone gland transplant surgery that cost nearly ten million won because it wasn’t covered by insurance, there was no other way but to take on debt.

But that too had been his choice, and Hae-wan, who was used to Yu-jun always excessively badmouthing Hae-eon, snapped angrily.

“Don’t talk about Hae-eon like that. How many times do I have to tell you that I wanted that surgery.”

At Hae-wan’s angry voice, Yu-jun bit his lip once, then reached under the table and pulled out a white envelope, sliding it forward.

Hae-wan, who had received it in bewilderment, asked in confusion.

“What… is this?”

“…You’ll know if you open it.”

When Hae-wan opened the white envelope and saw its contents, his eyes widened like they might pop out.

It was a check with the amount of fifteen million won written on it.

The hand holding the check trembled. When he raised his head, Yu-jun was avoiding Hae-wan’s eyes with his head down like a criminal.

“You, this, where did this come from?”

“…When I said you needed money, he gave it without hesitation. Like it was some kind of pocket change…”

Hae-wan threw the check on the floor and shouted.

“What the hell did you do!”

Yu-jun closed his eyes tightly with a do-or-die expression and said.

“I told Yeo Kang-hyun… that you were Yoon Hae-eon.”

Hae-wan stared at Yu-jun for a while, speechless.

“…What?”

“I said you were Yoon Hae-eon, and that you were pretending not to know him because life was hard, so he gave me that money.”

His tightly closed lips trembled. The situation was so absurd he couldn’t even get angry.

However, Hae-wan’s silence seemed more uncomfortable than any worthless words, so Yu-jun began pouring out excuses no one had asked for.

“At, at first it was just a joke. He wouldn’t believe that you weren’t Yoon Hae-eon, so I thought if I said something like this, he might back off. But as soon as I brought it up, he asked how much you needed. So I just said it as a joke, really as a joke… but he didn’t hesitate and immediately transferred money to my account…”

Hae-wan muttered blankly.

“So you were happy to take it?”

“Huh? Well, it’s not that I was happy to take it…”

“Are you an idiot?”

At the curse word that came from Hae-wan’s mouth, who rarely used harsh language, Yu-jun flinched.

“Do you know what kind of money this is that you took? What kind of stupid bastard in the world gives fifteen million won to someone they don’t know without any compensation?”

At his cold voice, Yu-jun swallowed and hurriedly added.

“I told you earlier. Yeo Kang-hyun is a conglomerate heir, so that amount of money is nothing to him. And, and he mistook you for Yoon Hae-eon on his own…”

“I’m not Hae-eon!”

Hae-wan screamed with veins bulging in his neck.

But Yu-jun closed his mouth not because he had raised his voice, but because his eyes were turning bright red.

Hae-wan lowered his head and covered both eyes with his palms. He barely managed to continue speaking with a trembling voice.

“So that means… that money wasn’t given to us…”

Heavy silence filled the room. Hae-wan took deep breaths while pressing his eyes until they flashed.

After a moment, Hae-wan, who had calmed down, raised his head with a tired face. Yu-jun, who had been anxiously biting his nails, flinched in surprise when their eyes met and looked down.

—

T/N: Haven’t read this level of angst in such a long time.