Romeo and Rosaline - 41

“And… you…”

Romeo swallowed a rough breath as if his throat was dry. In the shadow of his furrowed brow, devoid of focus, resentment and tarnished affection overflowed.

“I followed the voice that searched for you. Just as there are those who search for the sun, there are those who search for the moon.”

He trembled his hand as if regretting his own mistake.

“But the fate of a fallen god is pitiful.”

“…”

“You live in a great story someone made up, or in real life. In an infinite cycle of life and death, loved and abandoned again and again.”

His wandering red eyes pierced through Rosaline like a window.

“Just as you were when you were a human before you were a god, just as you are now.”

Silence fell. Memories returned and accumulated in Juliet’s mind, yet there was a calmness akin to a tranquil river finding its place.

Ironically, he was the one confused. It was unexpected, her silence. Without releasing the hand that held him, she lowered her body, bringing her eyes even closer. He, who still stooped, became the one looking up at her.

“Romeo, the truth is I knew everything. I have never forgotten a single moment of my past. I mistakenly believed I had forgotten because I turned away from it for far too long.”

“…”

“I even knew who you were.”

A long time ago, from the moment she heard his voice, she had already glimpsed his unguarded heart and past, shining in the radiance emitted by the sun.

She had known him from the beginning.

“Kata, the sun.”

She confessed to him, her words directed towards him like a thirsty person seeking water.

“You were the child of a murderer.”

He murmured, lost in thought.

“Yes, I was…”

* * *

I was the child of a murderer.

Prison was my cradle, without a clear name like yours. I learned slaughter, wielding a sword to survive, ultimately becoming chosen as a sacrifice, just like you.

I resented the parents who abandoned me, the comrades who betrayed me, and the humans who killed me.

The cruelty of killing one’s own kind, endless vanity and desire, the despicable act of abandoning even one’s own child.

All of it.

That’s why I may have become the sun. With fervent hatred, hoping for their destruction, I never took my eyes off them. The demise of their prosperous kingdom, self-destruction in their discord, and ultimately burning to death, that was my only pleasure.

Because you loved humans excessively, I was different from you, who became the moon, illuminating the path in the darkness.

So when you appeared, longing for them, I pitied you. It was ridiculous how you pretended not to remember, seeking affection.

However, that emptiness eventually turned toward me.

I, too, desired you.

I hoped for your smile to be directed at me, for your eyes to embrace me. Even for someone as despicable as those detestable humans, I expected you to embrace me, filled with hatred and anger.

Because of you, I no longer gazed at humans.

The cost of laying eyes on you, while despising humans and witnessing their demise, was clear.

It was a descent.

So when you descended to the ground, I, too, fell.

But I willingly followed you. I stayed by your side, repeating lives, lingering in your shadow. Sometimes without the form of a deity, sometimes as a human, always by your side.

I was determined to save you from humans who didn’t love you.

But you ran away when you saw me. You turned away from me, even though you surely knew who I was. You willingly plunged yourself into the abyss of tragedy.

I resisted, persuaded, and even resorted to threats against you.

But you, with eyes filled with light, yes… You continued to love someone with a serene fervor, like the moon. Without even sparing a glance for me, who was always behind you.

In truth, Tiber, there was a time when you shared your body with me. The next morning, you drugged me to sleep and left, but now I can say that I’m thankful. Our first night together was the most enchanting day of my life.

When you left me, just as you did when you were human, you were always rejected and died. And once you died, I, as a deity, had the duty to observe humans.

I brought about their destruction and downfall.

Yes… dozens, hundreds of times. That’s what happened as I repeated countless lives.

I grew tired. I longed for death. I thought returning to the sky would be better than being with you, or so I believed.

So I thought this would be the last time.

I would reject you, who pathetically begged for someone else’s life. I would tear apart your heart, which never looked back, and shred it to pieces.

Once again, I failed. And once again, I was abandoned.

I couldn’t bear the anger. It felt so unjust that it felt like my head would explode.

In this situation, I was determined to hold on until the end of this life, even if it meant holding onto you and dying together.

With you.

* * *

Her hand touched Romeo’s chin, as if confessing the depths of her heart like a sinner. She traced his rough lips and gently touched the spot where his dimple should be. He thought she was touching his scars.

“I held onto you tightly, unable to become a deity or even a human, so the wounds wouldn’t heal.”

Surely, her memories had returned, but he felt unsettled by her calm expression. He should be surprised, avoid her, or be afraid. He spoke harshly out of his anxious heart.

“But even if you die, it doesn’t mean I will live. It’s a futile thought…”

“It was me who fell.”

Rosaline spoke without a particular tone. He couldn’t even flinch in her eyes, which twinkled like they did when she was the moon in the sky. No matter how much he trampled, her bright eyes sparkled.

“I saw what I shouldn’t have seen, and I wanted it for myself.”

Compassion for even a distant stranger, sacrificing oneself for a friend, loving an innocent child as one’s own.

With so many humans out there, couldn’t I have a place among them? Greed swelled up like an empty disguise with flames inside. In the depths of solitude, there was no calculation of becoming a light.

“I was supposed to be the moon that illuminates everything, but instead of illuminating someone, I wanted to receive the light. So I am not worthy.”

Just like Kata who only chased after Tiber.

“You said we were different. You were wrong. In fact, we are so similar. Full of regrets, having nothing, feeling lonely. Just like a replica, we are exactly the same.”

Rosaline laid bare the feelings she had suppressed, one by one. But there was no hesitation. It had always been like this in front of Romeo, just as it had always been.

“That’s why I was afraid. I thought that following you, who is just like me, would only lead to loneliness.”

She placed her forehead against his, continuously wiping away his tears. This dimple. It must have been there when he was human before becoming a deity. Even those fierce eyes, the occasional rude tone, and a life bound to wielding a sword.

Like an unavoidable sun, the light that endlessly shines on her was right in front of me, and yet I acted like a fool.

“Romeo, what will happen if we discard the names of Kata and Tiber, the Sun and the Moon, and choose each other?”

Romeo grasped her hand that enveloped her, helplessly but ecstatically, like a perfectly pierced warrior. And he touched her cheek with his small palm.

“We will become beings that are neither gods nor humans, beings with nothing.”

Just Romeo and Rosaline, living a life where they no longer experience rejection or have to stain their hands with blood.

Rosaline smiled and lowered her head. In the closeness of their breaths, where they were just a heartbeat away from mingling, she whispered.

“Shall we fall together?”

“Let’s fall together.”

Without being mocked by any fate.

“To live an ordinary life.”

Her eyelashes tickled him, trembling delicately. But her voice was trembling even more with passion and joy.

“Just like this…”

Without anyone needing to say it, a deep kiss followed. Rosaline recalled his words, ‘If you want, I’ll give you an eternal, never-fading light.’

Ah, he truly gave it to her. Laughter burst out within the kiss.

Resembling a tragedy and comedy created by someone else, they had continued with such foolish and inexperienced lives. But she knew. Love was an everlasting, never-fading light. And she clung to that one hope, stubbornly holding onto her infatuation.

Rosaline embraced Romeo, her everlasting light. Determined that they would no longer succumb to the same fate.