Chapter 11 (Part 4)

While she mulled over the name in her prickly mood, he kissed her chest and continued.

“You said she could never win.”

“…Well, I don’t know. I said that, but you never know until the time comes. How would I know if a man’s feelings change?”

She spoke as if sulking again. But as soon as she said it, tears welled up again, making her heart ache. Just imagining him treating another woman like he treated her was suffocatingly painful. Nathaniel looked up, surprised by the sudden tears. His expression was one of being at a loss for words. 

“Are you crying because you’re sad after saying that yourself?” 

He asked, hitting the mark, while giving a pitiful smile. His expression showed he found her actions both amusing and made him want to cry along with her. 

Seeing his beautiful face so close, she quickly surrendered. She bit her lip and replied, 

“Yes…” 

“If you like someone else… it will hurt.” 

How funny she must look to him now. First, she got mad, then sulked, then acted petulant, and now she was crying. 

But he just chuckled softly. Then he came up to her neck and chin and pressed a gentle kiss. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into his embrace. They ended up lying in the bathtub together, hugging as usual. He patted her as she sniffled and spoke over her hair. 

“How could I love anyone else as much as I love you? I can’t. I know that.” 

“But…” 

She hesitated about whether to say the next part. But she decided to speak her true feelings. 

“Nathaniel, I… I don’t want you… to die because of me.” 

“…”

“Just stay alive… and love someone else. I can forgive that.” 

He looked shaken by her words, as if he were wounded. But it was better than him dying. She was crying into his chest when suddenly he lifted her head with both hands and kissed her deeply. 

“Mm… Wait… This isn’t the time…” 

“…” 

No matter how much she tried to stop him, he was relentless. Even when she tried to pull away, he persistently met her lips with his. His smooth tongue gently explored her mouth. 

“No. I won’t let that happen.” 

“Nathaniel, but…” 

“Don’t say things like that to me. Please, don’t…” 

His pleading words made her give up resisting once again. 

They shared a long kiss. Then naturally, they began to caress each other’s bodies. Both of them, excited, quickly washed and moved to the bed. 

Even though water dripped from their wet hair, they didn’t care. He kept asking her to love him. It was the first time he had directly expressed such a need. 

In his plaintive plea, they came together earlier than usual. Fortunately, the extended f*replay in the bathroom had left her ready. Soon, his hot length pushed deep inside her.

“Ah…!” 

They clung to each other as if making up for lost time. They moved continuously, stimulating each other, and even after reaching a climax and releasing, they came together again. It was exhausting but enjoyable. She loved that he wanted her and that she could keep affirming her feelings. 

She lay on his chest, rubbing her cheek against him, thinking about how wonderful it felt. How could such love exist? 

Then came his question, in a lazy, low voice that seemed to scratch the floor. 

“What about you? Could you accept it if I said the same thing?” 

“That… no…” 

Her answer was selfish, even though she had asked it. But that was how she truly felt. If he told her to marry another man for her happiness, she would cry and feel hurt. She would be angry, asking how he could say such a thing knowing her heart. She would hate being left alone. 

Feeling guilty, she buried her face in Nathaniel’s chest and cried. 

“It hurt your heart… I’m sorry. I just… I just wanted you to live…” 

“That’s exactly how I felt when I first brought you to this house.” 

“Nathaniel…” 

“Even if I were to die, I wanted to save you. But Cordelia… if I were to die right now to save you, could you accept that?” 

“I… I… No… That would be too, too sad… I don’t want that.” 

“Exactly, I don’t want that either. We feel the same way. So let’s not force each other to live and go to someone else… Let’s accept the end when it comes and stay by each other’s side until then. Let’s not push each other away in sadness. Okay? Let’s do that.” 

At his words, an overwhelming climax suddenly hit her. She shuddered with a moan, feeling a tightening sensation below and a thumping in her belly. Soon, he too groaned and released inside her. 

They lay together, enjoying the lingering sensation, then turned to lie side by side. As they both panted in sync, the disappointment that had tangled her heart began to melt away. The words that they shared the same feelings lingered in her ears. 

She snuggled into his arms, making a playful request. 

“Okay. But you can’t not wake up again… I was scared.”

She hugged him tightly. She felt Nathaniel nod above her head. 

“I just slept deeply. You worry as much as I do. Don’t worry. I won’t be sick for long. No one can guess my condition. So don’t go out and hear strange things.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. Cordelia, only God knows how many days we have left. He’s the one who bound us in the first place…”

She wanted to ask what he meant, but he soon fell asleep again, leaving her unable to say anything more. She watched his sleeping face with sad eyes for a while before falling asleep herself.

***

Nathaniel opened his eyes again, this time three days later. 

But she acted as if he had woken up the very next day. At least until his heartfelt confession came, she wanted to keep his heart at ease. If he knew she had been worrying and waiting for three days straight, he would surely be saddened. 

“What did Stella tell you?” 

“…Don’t call her by that name. I don’t like it.” 

“Are you jealous now?” 

“Seems like it…” 

She pouted as she spoke. 

Then, as they lay on the sofa, he chuckled and hugged her tightly, rolling them from side to side. 

“Cute. You’re even jealous.” 

“Hmph. Then should I call the country oppa I mentioned last time by his name? Like Alfred?”

“You can’t call another man that.”

“But I can for you?” 

“Wanna try calling me?” 

“…Oppa?” 

His ears turned red instantly. Amused by his reaction, she laughed. 

“It’s not the title… Why do you make such a pretty face? Are you doing it on purpose? Trying to seduce me?” 

“Tch, what is that? It’s the same.” 

“No, your eyes suddenly got round and sparkly…” 

They spent some time bickering like that. Perhaps they were intentionally delaying the timing for a serious conversation. 

But eventually, the time came, as she had once told him.

After a simple dinner, they took Skoll for a walk to watch the sunset together. Then they returned and sat side by side on the garden chairs. It was while she was quietly leaning on his shoulder amidst the fragrant smell of flowers and grass. 

“Cordelia, are you really not afraid to hear my true identity?” 

“Identity?” 

“I feel like I’d be hurt if you suddenly got scared. So brace yourself.” 

Suddenly, he asked a question. It was quite unexpected for her. 

But she had her suspicions. She had gathered quite a few clues. From her regained memories, the various events she had experienced, and the words of that woman named Stella. 

The talk of her being already dead and his ability to share life force. The reference to him as a ‘noble being.’ The explanations that distinguished him and her for quite some time. The existence of a singularity. It seemed she was… And he, who was taking care of her… 

But she decided not to define it herself and waited for his explanation. 

“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Even if you were a demon, I’d still want to marry you.” 

She answered with certainty, holding his hand. He grasped her hand tightly in return, as if his grip was filled with affection. 

He did not speak for a long time afterward. Eventually, as she began to adapt to the quiet atmosphere and feel drowsy, he continued his explanation. 

“It might be hard to understand. So, I… I was born for a slightly different reason than you. I’m closer to being created out of necessity. I’ve never spent time as a ‘living’ being like you.” 

What did that mean? 

She wondered as she waited for him to continue, her eyes closed. 

“My job is to guide certain beings. When they’ve used up the time given to them, they pass through a path I manage… That’s when I see them. Simply put, you meet me after you die… People like you might call me a ‘Grim Reaper.’” 

She felt his hand tremble. Perhaps he thought she might soon let go or reject him due to the strange confession. But she had no intention of doing so. 

It was just as she had expected. So, he was that kind of being. Instead, she held his hand tighter and pushed her response out. 

“Oh, that’s really unexpected… I really thought you were an angel. What kind of Grim Reaper looks this pretty? It’s unbelievable.”

At her words, he laughed as if incredulous.