Chapter 12 (Part 1)

She realized it belatedly. The time granted to her would last only until she understood her own necessity. And after that day, she truly felt her soul dispersing day by day.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t as frightening a sensation as she had imagined. It felt like her body was gradually becoming transparent. 

At the same time, she knew the path she had to take. It was the meaning behind Nathaniel’s words when he said she had to go somewhere on the day she first opened her eyes in this house. It seemed she had another life ahead, and to reach it, she needed to join the flow. But if she didn’t take that path, she would eventually vanish from his side as if she had never existed. 

‘So, what I saw on the mountain then… that was it.’ 

Now she understood what the procession of countless people she saw from the mountain near this place was. It seemed to be the path of the deceased that Nathaniel had explained. 

In any case, to go through reincarnation, her soul needed to remain at least partially intact, and for that, she had to consider it once these signs appeared. But she decided not to do so. 

‘Otherwise… I would have to part with him. I don’t want that.’ 

Of course, the day would come when he would learn about her condition, but she decided to endure it nonetheless. She wanted to stay with him, even for just one more day, or even a moment longer. 

If he learned this fact belatedly, he would surely cry. He might blame and resent her selfishness. But in the end, he would understand. Because he loved her. Because they shared the same feelings. She didn’t want to spend their remaining time with tears and anxiety, and if it was the same time anyway, she wanted to fill it with happiness. 

So she deliberately laughed louder, hugged him tighter, and said “I love you” more, much more. That was the best she could do. 

She hoped that even after she left soon, he would live with her image and words forever in his heart. 

“Today, I want to visit the forest. Near the place where we made our marriage vows last time.” 

And she decided to change a certain memory that lingered with regret in his heart. 

So she suddenly pestered him to go on a picnic. Thankfully, Nathaniel didn’t suspect anything today either. 

Although he had worried her by being unable to open his eyes for three days straight, contrary to her concerns, he was gradually regaining his strength. He was truly foolish. She always was. If she had just waited a little longer as he had said. If she had done so, and thus delayed the ‘realization’ a bit more, their peace would have continued longer. 

But now, there was nothing she could do about regrets. 

“Honey! Look here. The clovers have bloomed so beautifully.” 

She deliberately led Skoll and him around, waiting for the time when the sunset began to paint the sky beautifully. Then, as if finding it by chance, she reached her destination. It was a clearing in the forest filled with clovers. 

If they went a little further, they would reach the place where they made their marriage vows under the flowering tree, but that wasn’t actually where she wanted to go. It was right here. 

“Wait there. I’ll find you a four-leaf clover soon.” 

She thought she could remember when he mentioned it. The first time he saw her. 

So she tried to wear clothes as similar as possible to that time and chose a location as similar as possible. She wanted to gift him ‘that time’ again. 

After dismounting from Skoll, she went to the clover field, squatted down, and diligently searched for a four-leaf clover. 

In the past, she used to do this whenever she had nothing to do. She would hum a song she had been singing since childhood. She must have been lonely. She wanted to find something meaningful. She thought the plant symbolizing happiness would make her feel that way. 

Of course, her life back then ended in tragedy, and she thought there was no longer any meaning, but now she thought differently. 

From the moment she learned that Nathaniel had been watching over her, even up to that time became precious. Just knowing he was quietly by her side was enough. 

So she hoped it wouldn’t be remembered too painfully. The meeting with her from that time. 

“Found it…!”

At that moment, she spotted the pretty four-leaf clover she had been searching for. She carefully plucked it without damaging it and turned back toward Nathaniel and Skoll with a delighted expression.

As expected, he was watching her with a nostalgic look on his face, as if he were reminiscing about the past. His expression seemed to carry a sense of longing, as if he had returned to that time. 

But now, it was different.

Only the present was their reality, and she could see him clearly. 

“Nathaniel!” 

She called out to him and ran over, throwing her arms wide open and embracing Nathaniel tightly, without the slightest hesitation. 

Above her, she heard his surprised intake of breath. 

Then it quickly turned into joyful laughter. As he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her, they spun around together as if dancing. When she laughed gleefully, he gently set her down on the saddle and kissed the back of her hand.

“Just now, thanks to you, I covered a scene from the past.” 

He said, his beautiful golden eyes glistening with what seemed like tears of gratitude. The crimson sunset seemed to paint his eyes and cheeks red. 

“Really? You liked me running to you? Should I do it again?” 

She asked playfully, pretending to be innocent and unaware. Then she bent down and hugged his head. 

She was happy to have erased one of his regrets in this moment.

***

Afterward, they returned home together. 

Today, she followed him to the stable when he put Skoll away. She wanted to give one of the two four-leaf clovers she had found earlier. 

“Here, one is for Skoll. Skoll, this is something good. It brings luck.” 

When she held out one of the clovers she had cherished in her hands, Skoll sniffed at it. 

In truth, their sensitive horse usually only ate the feed it was used to and was picky even with carrots, but it immediately moved its lips and munched on the four-leaf clover she offered. 

Then, unusually today, it stared at her intently and let out a long sigh. She looked into Skoll’s eyes and placed a finger to her lips, as if sharing a secret. 

“Thank you.” 

Nathaniel had stepped away briefly to close the gate, and she took the opportunity to quickly say her farewell to Skoll. 

In response, the horse with beautiful black eyes neighed at her. It usually made annoyed snorting sounds, but it seemed to have sensed something. She gently petted Skoll’s head and soothed it for a moment. 

“Please take care of Nathaniel. Stay healthy too. If we meet again someday…” 

“Cordelia! Let’s go inside.” 

At that moment, she heard Nathaniel calling her from the garden. 

She stopped whispering and followed him into the house as if nothing had happened.

***

“Let’s bathe together today.” 

“What’s the occasion? You said you were embarrassed because you thought you’d gained weight lately.” 

She said as she caught Nathaniel, who was about to leave the bathroom after filling it with hot water. 

He asked cheerfully, as if wondering what had gotten into her. Of course, he didn’t seem to have any intention of refusing, as he was already unbuttoning his shirt.

“I wanted to get back at you.” 

Already in the tub, she spoke with a meaningful tone. He paused in undressing and tilted his head in confusion. 

“What? Get back at me?” 

“Yes, like this!” 

With a splash, his body slipped into the tub. The clothes he hadn’t managed to remove were now completely soaked. She burst into giggles at the sight. 

“You dropped me in like this last time too! I wanted to try it.” 

He laughed helplessly at her excuse. Fortunately, he didn’t seem angry. He shook his head as if admitting defeat. 

“Need help getting undressed?” 

She deliberately teased him with a suggestive tone as she approached. She saw his body tense up momentarily. Understandably, he was surprised since she approached him with her wet body. The tips of his ears turned red. She found it cute and reached out to lightly caress them before clinging to him and slowly undressing him. 

She unbuttoned his shirt, then pulled the drawstring of his pants to lower them. The clothes floated in the water. Once she set them aside, only the two of them remained in the tub. She clung to him. 

“Wait, Cordel… Ah… Why so hasty? Just a bit slower…” 

“No. I want to do it now.”

Now she could no longer accurately gauge how much time she had left. Her heart grew more anxious by the moment, even as she was blissfully caressing his body. 

She reached out her hand to stimulate him vigorously. Then, the large and red shape visible through the clear water began to take form. Her touch was more hurried than usual. 

She wanted to embrace him quickly. A short while later, she climbed onto his thighs, groaning as she engulfed him. The hot flesh, swollen to its fullest, pushed into her as if to fill her completely.

“Ugh…!” 

“Ah…” 

“Ha, Nathaniel, ugh… Ah, ah…!” 

The passionate movement began immediately. The feeling of embracing each other in the warm, splashing bathroom was more intense than doing it outside, and the romantic sense of isolation, knowing they were alone in the water, added to it. 

Floating in the water felt like flying, and when they felt the weight again outside, it seemed as if his was deeply embedded within her. 

Once again, she lost herself, unable to maintain her composure, and reveled in the pleasure and happiness of being with him. 

Ah, this would be our last night together. 

She sniffled, pretending it was tears from the lingering emotions. 

“Our crybaby. Crying again.” 

“It’s because I love you so much.” 

She said, clinging tightly to his body. He laughed pleasantly and stroked her back. 

Afterward, he bathed her, exhausted as usual, and finished their bath.