Chapter 6 (Part 1)

Before a great misfortune strikes, it always leaves some trace behind.  

Of course, recognizing it immediately is never easy. Only after everything has passed do the pieces of the puzzle come together, revealing the full truth.  

In that sense, what happened that day might have been a warning of the impending disaster.  

Even now, whenever Cordelia recalls that day, it feels as though a nail has been driven into her chest. The pain and torment linger, fueled by her doubts and the memory of Levin’s tears that she saw back then.  

“…Ah!”  

That day, she had woken up from another nightmare.  

Though it was daytime, the curtains had been drawn, leaving the house quite dark. After taking a bath, she had dozed off on the sofa, only to be tormented by another nightmare.  

As she jerked upright with a sharp gasp, Levin, who had been drinking water nearby, immediately approached her.  

“Another nightmare?”  

He knelt down in front of her, lowering himself to her eye level as he asked.  

Startled, Cordelia stared at him with wide eyes, her breaths uneven. The shock from the scenes in her dream still lingered, and the pounding of her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears.  

“Cordelia? Are you alright…?”  

“…Who are you?”  

Perhaps at that moment, she wasn’t in her right mind.  

Although she sometimes felt she lost herself like this, it was the first time she had shown such a side to Levin.  

She couldn’t distinguish between the dream and reality at that moment, and so, she believed the man she had seen in her nightmare was now standing in front of her.  

Levin, as always, leaned in gently, trying to soothe her with a kiss. His soft expression was filled with love, and his tender gestures made it clear he wanted to ease her anxiety.  

On any other day, she would have gladly accepted his kiss, feeling happiness from it.  

But not that day.  

Instead, she demanded once more, her voice firm.  

“Who are you?”  

At her question, his golden eyes wavered.  

Breathing heavily, Cordelia leaned back, creating distance between them, and began to press him for answers.  

Her mind replayed the scenes from her nightmare over and over again.  

The moments when she was mercilessly beaten by the devilish man with red hair.  

The times when she crouched in a corner, trying to avoid the drunken man who smashed dishes as he stumbled around.  

The nights when her so-called husband violated her.  

The despair that led her to attempt hanging herself.  

The failure of that attempt.  

The agonizing hours of labor as she writhed in pain, hovering on the brink of death.  

And amidst all of this, she began to see a man’s face more clearly.  

That man had always been by her side.  

Standing there, he could do nothing but watch, his face twisted in misery, as though the inability to act was a torment in itself.  

His eyes were filled with profound sorrow.  

“You saw it, didn’t you? You’ve been watching me all along, haven’t you? There’s no use denying it—I’m certain I saw you. I’m sure you were there when I almost… when I almost died, standing right beside me…”  

“Cordelia!”  

At that moment, Levin’s strong arms wrapped tightly around her.  

She could barely breathe. But at the same time, his firm embrace seemed to calm her down.  

Like the time she had walked endlessly through the pouring rain, she was trembling uncontrollably.  

And just as she hadn’t realized it then, she didn’t know now how much she was shaking.  

But now, Levin was holding her tightly, helping her regain her composure.  

‘…What is this? Is this… a dream? Could this be a dream? Or is this reality? What did I just say…?’  

Cordelia’s mind, filled with confusion, went blank. However, she gradually realized that this situation was not a dream. It was thanks to Levin’s strong embrace. Her ragged breathing slowly began to calm.  

Ah, so it wasn’t a dream!  

‘Cordelia, you idiot! What did you just say to Levin, drunk on that nightmare? What exactly did you say?!’  

As reality settled in, it felt like she had plunged into freezing water. She was overwhelmed by the thought of what reckless words she might have said to him.  

In her dream, she had seen his golden eyes. She had seen him constantly standing by her side.  

He had been there throughout her miserable married life with the red-haired Levin. At the time, she thought of him as a ghost. A beautiful ghost who quietly watched over her, filled with sorrow.  

‘Cordelia… you fool. It was all just a dream….’  

Perhaps it was because she had once complained to him, asking why he didn’t appear in her nightmares to save her. At that moment, it felt like that was the only explanation. She convinced herself that it was just her useless past dreams projecting him into her mind.  

And yet, she had failed to distinguish between dream and reality and had demanded answers from this man.  

Ah, surely Levin would think of me as a crazy woman now.  

She wriggled desperately, trying to free herself from his arms. She wanted to face him, apologize, and explain that it was all nonsense brought on by her nightmare. She wanted to ask him to forget everything she had said.  

But then, it happened.  

No matter how much she struggled to break free, Levin refused to let her go.  

And then, he spoke.  

“Don’t. Stop remembering.”  

What? What was he saying?  

“Please, stop remembering… Don’t try to remember anymore. You’ll leave me. Cordelia, please.”  

“…”  

“I can’t live without you anymore. Please don’t leave me….”  

His voice, choked with tears, trembled. It was uneven, and Cordelia realized he was crying.  

At that moment, she also realized that Levin knew something about her.  

Should I ask? Should I demand to know what was going on right now? Should I ask him to tell me the truth?  

Cordelia hesitated, lost in thought.  

But deep down, she had a gut feeling that whatever came next, the truth would bring a shock that would wedge itself between them.  

‘Who are you? What do you do? Why did you appear in my dreams like that? How do you know so much about me? You’re not really the man who was my husband back then, are you? Then why are you pretending to be my husband now and staying by my side? Are your words of love true? Or is there another reason? Why are you trying so hard to keep me close…?’  

Countless questions swirled in her mind.  

But in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to ask any of them.  

Instead, she collapsed in his arms. She fainted again.  

As her consciousness faded, she could feel Levin hurriedly lifting her and carrying her to the bed. After laying her down gently, she heard him pleading like a prayer, “Wake up, wake up.”  

Inwardly, she apologized to him.  

I’m sorry for always worrying you. I’m sorry for doubting you.

‘This man truly loves me… and yet I keep doubting him every time. It’s unforgivable….’