Chapter 14 (Part 1)

“Nowadays, people don’t even realize when they catch it, but her vitality is already greatly diminished… You should prepare yourselves.”

A quiet shock enveloped the old castle of Tarnu.

Everyone had somewhat anticipated that Madam’s condition was not a matter of one or two years. But having it confirmed by the physician’s words that her days were numbered was an entirely different matter.

“The envoy of the Lord has tried his best, but it seems that the family of non-believers cannot be saved.”

The priest of Nux quickly left Tarnu, pretending to lament. He had thought of settling accounts with the late Schultz’s brother, but with the situation as it was, there was no need to stay.

The sound of the servants spitting behind the departing carriage was crushed by the noise of the rolling wheels.

Leni, Greta, and the head maid took turns watching over Madam’s sickbed.

Even when the rain pattered against the tightly closed window, causing her to groan, the Madam did not fall into madness. Though no new wounds appeared on her body, which had been marked by Edan’s absence, she rarely regained consciousness.

It was much better when she could smile and chat during the day, even if scars increased on that white body.

There was always the sound of someone sobbing in the Madam’s room.

Occasionally, when she regained consciousness once or twice a day, the Madam always sought him.

“Edan. Call Edan.”

“Madam… he…”

He deceived you, Madam. He’s a fraud with no connection to the lord. 

The head maid couldn’t bring herself to say those words.

“Call him.”

He might not be just a simple fraud, but many believed otherwise. Since he said nothing, no one could be certain of anything.

The maids were at their wits’ end every day. What could they do? How could they do it? Every night her breath seemed to falter, and they wondered if they should grant her final wish.

Leni and Greta went to the underground prison four days after the Madam first coughed up blood.

Every step on the dark, cold, damp stone floor of the underground echoed with the sound of rats scurrying away.

It had been a long time. Before the Madam’s condition worsened, they occasionally visited to ensure the man wouldn’t harbor ill intentions.

In truth, they had long suspected Edan. From the way he held the Madam, to being left-handed, to the intense gaze he cast upon her…

They weren’t the only ones who believed in the mysteries of Tarnu, so Edan, though confined in the underground prison, received decent meals and warm blankets. The problem was that he didn’t eat properly or use the blankets.

Everyone knew it stemmed from his guilt.

“Are you awake?”

At Greta’s voice, Edan, who had been crouched in a corner, slowly lifted his head.

His hair, once honeyed and tousled when the Madam played with it, now hung limp, but his eyes still burned brightly. In the light of the lamp Leni held, his green eyes seemed to blaze.

After washing, warming up, and changing out of the clothes he had worn for more than fifteen days, Edan finally reached the Madam’s room. The moonlight, which had risen and then faded once, dimly lit the corridor.

Standing before the door, he hesitated for a long time. Hw thought of when was the last time he had leaned his forehead against the doorpost, listening to her faint voice through the crack.

With his head bowed and eyes closed… The maids watching thought he was holding back tears.

“Go ahead.”

Leni nodded her head as if urging him again. The moment he pushed open the door that had never been locked, deep in the dim room, his angel lay pale under the lamp.

As he stumbled forward, the door closed behind him. At the sound of the door clicking shut, Edan stopped in his tracks.

He had guessed this much when the two maids had shown their faces for the first time in a long while.

But actually seeing her life ebbing away was far more painful, miserable, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching than he had ever imagined.

Because he had contributed to her suffering.

The steps he had taken countless times from the door to Ellenia’s bed were painful. It was like the steps he took when marching towards the snowy fields of the north, or when trudging through the muddy plains in spring.

Sitting on the stool he had always used to sit by her side, Edan stared at Ellenia’s face for a long time.

Perhaps it was the yellow light of the lamp, but her face seemed a little warmer. Her lips, pale as her skin, were dry and had a scab that hinted at her condition…

Soaking a towel in the basin left by the maids, he wrung it out.

At the touch of the cold towel, Ellenia’s closed eyelashes fluttered.

Following the hairline, he gently wiped her forehead, pressed her temples, and eventually, delicately wiped her earlobes, under her chin, and around her mouth…

Drawing her sinking consciousness up like a water-soaked sponge, Ellenia barely opened her eyes.

The moment her light blue eyes focused on him, Edan’s vision blurred with tears.

“I’m here.”

“Yes.”

“…I’m too late, aren’t I?”

His voice was thick with emotion. Knowing it would worry her, Edan felt a pang of guilt. Perhaps because his body was young that tears came so easily.

For ten years, she had waited, believing in the promise he had whispered in a much lower voice. The laughter that echoed above her head, his strong arm that held her, his firm embrace that pulled her back to reality from her delusions…

“…I really, really tried hard to endure.”

“I know.”

“I waited for so long.”

“…”

“Really…”

Perhaps it was the movement of his throat, but a silver tear ran down his cheek. Ellenia barely managed to reach out and stroke his chin. His regret, pooled there, stained her fingertips.

Only the sound of the crackling fire broke the silence.

***

“How can this be! You kept everything from me, you, the lord…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, really sorry, Ellie.”

Ellenia’s thin fists hit Edarson’s chest repeatedly.

Though it didn’t hurt, his heart ached knowing her throat would hurt from crying, her sense of betrayal would break her heart, and her hands hitting him would also ache.

“I really didn’t know anything…”

Her hand, which had been flailing for a while, gradually slowed. It was hard to keep punching in a fit of anger for long. When it slowed and eventually stopped…

Edarson’s arms wrapped around Ellenia. The same strong arms that silently held her when she suffered from thunderstorms during the rainy season.

“Let go, let go of me…”

She resisted weakly, but his strong arms did not loosen. Hugging her tighter, sobs burst out.

“What am I supposed to do if you leave like this…”

Only Ellenia’s sobs intermittently echoed in the room.

The envoy from the royal capital did not allow even a few days’ grace. It had been half a year since the royal decree was issued, and any further delays would result in charges of treason, stripping Tarnu of its name and castle.

Such a thing could never happen for the sake of his lovely and pitiful wife.

In truth, the preparations for departure were already complete. The knights who had been with him since the war with the duchy knew everything from the beginning, and young men from the village who wanted to follow the lord had secretly finished training outside the castle plains. Gathering military supplies in Tarnu, which was abundant even during the rainy season, was not difficult.

They could leave tomorrow.

But, but… Only his lovely and pitiful wife lingered in his mind.

Edarson tightened his arms around her again.

The best he could do was to beg the envoy for three days. 

Could I imprint my wife’s face, lips, tongue, and body in my memory in that time?

Would that be enough?