Chapter 45 

Everything changed once she realized her feelings.

It wasn’t her first time being in a relationship with a man, but Harriet was restless, unable to act one way or another, like a girl experiencing first love.

“I can’t eat…”

“Why?”

Yvonne, who had been engrossed in documents, looked at Harriet at her sudden mutter.

“It’s not good for my heart to sit across from him…”

“You’re talking about your husband, right?”

Harriet nodded instead of answering.

“Is this really the Harriet Coco Vanetti who was once called a femme fatale, the queen of scandals?”

“…Probably?”

“The woman who could effortlessly play with men as if holding them in her hand?”

“Yes, it’s me…”

Harriet replied weakly and banged her forehead on the desk. She felt like something was broken. This had never happened before, and she couldn’t bear the unfamiliar situations that kept arising.

“This morning, I even stuttered. Can you believe it?”

“Oh my…”

“And that’s not all. I dropped my fork, too.”

“My goodness…”

Yvonne shook her head and set down the documents she was holding, then helped Harriet move to a couch.

“It’s serious. Completely.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes. If he finds out about your feelings, consider your marriage over.”

“Over…?”

Harriet, who had been staring at the floor, snapped her head up.

Yvonne, fully embodying a teacher, sat across from her and began her lesson.

“Of course. In a relationship between a man and a woman, the one who loves more loses.”

“Isn’t it the one who loves first?”

“It’s about magnitude, not the order.”

“Magnitude…”

Harriet murmured, clutching her head.

“It’s over.”

And the worst part was, it was someone she absolutely shouldn’t love. A contract marriage partner and from a prestigious ducal family. It hurt her pride that it was Lennox Diorne, the man she had sworn she’d rather see extinct than be with, even if he were the last man on earth.

“We’re going to divorce anyway…”

“Divorce?”

Yvonne tilted her head at Harriet’s sensitive muttering. Realizing her slip, Harriet quickly corrected herself.

“I mean, if things don’t work out, divorce is an option.”

“Well, that’s true. But I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Nodding, Yvonne fell silent as if deep in thought, then quietly asked.

“But so what? Even if it’s a relationship with an end, what’s wrong with living in the present? As long as it’s not an affair or incest, it’s not harming anyone.”

“…”

Harriet stared blankly at her, as if struck by her words.

“Senior?”

“…You’re right.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re right. Now that I think about it, when did I start fearing the end and holding back?”

If she liked something, she pursued it and enjoyed it to the fullest. She had never hesitated.

“I should continue to do so.”

There was nothing to fear. She just needed to acknowledge and enjoy her current feelings. Besides, the other person felt the same way.

“I should enjoy my newlywed life more. Intensely.”

Even if they divorced in half a year, the answer was to enjoy the present without regrets.

Having drawn her conclusion, Harriet stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“Do I have any busy work for the next week?”

“Not really? You finished the urgent work before the wedding. The competition is still in the planning stage.”

“Good.”

It wasn’t a long time, but it was enough.

However, there was still a task stuck in her throat.

“Where are you going? Home?”

“No.”

Shaking her head, Harriet grabbed her coat and bag.

“I’m going to see Claire Millet. It’s been a while.”

* * *

Claire was surprised but delighted to see Harriet visit without notice.

“What’s this? I thought you’d forgotten all about me, but here you are.”

“Your belly has grown a bit more in the meantime.”

“He kicks now. Wakes me up at night.”

Claire shrugged and devoured the chocolates Harriet had brought.

“These are really good. I’ve never had anything like this before.”

“Eat slowly. There’s no one here to take it from you.”

Harriet gently admonished Claire, who was eating with her hands, and took out her letter.

“Did you read it?”

“Your handwriting is good.”

“I was only good at reading, but now I’m trying to write a bit. You told me to pick up a hobby like embroidery or reading.”

“…”

Claire, who was rubbing her belly, proudly showed what she had prepared. Her efforts were evident in each carefully written letter.

“Well… you put in some effort.”

“I thought it might help with prenatal education.”

Harriet stared intently at Claire, who was smiling contentedly and looking down at her belly.

“Why go to such lengths?”

“What?”

Claire tilted her head at the sudden question.

Seeing her puzzled expression, Harriet spoke frankly.

“To be honest, I just suggested those things to keep you occupied because you were being a nuisance. I didn’t really care what you did, as long as it didn’t harm the child.”

“…I know.”

Claire nodded with a bitter smile.

“But you were the first to suggest something like that to me. Also, the first to teach me chess.”

“So you focused on prenatal education?”

“That was just the trigger. But the reason I continued was because of this child.”

“…”

There was affection in the way she caressed her belly. Harriet watched Claire in silence, feeling a bit flustered.

Claire candidly shared her story.

“As you criticized, I didn’t have any affection for Theodore Vanetti. Nor for this child. Pregnancy wasn’t even part of the plan. I was just pretending to be a lover, intending to break up after extracting a lot of money.”

Instead of responding, Harriet listened quietly to Claire’s story. Claire smiled faintly at Harriet, who was listening attentively.

“So I understand why you looked at me with disdain and those eyes.”

“…But now? Are you saying your feelings have changed?”

“Yes.”

Claire softly continued, closing her eyes gently.

“Since I started feeling this child inside me every day, letting me know it’s alive, my feelings began to change little by little. Oh, did I mention my past?”

“…”

Harriet shook her head instead of answering. Claire confessed her childhood.

“As you might have guessed, I’m an orphan. No parents, no siblings. The orphanage I was in was a private one, and the conditions were so poor it was like hell. The boys were sent to clean chimneys or to factories once they were old enough, and the girls were sent to brothels or as maidservants.”

Suddenly, Harriet recalled the orphanage she visited with Lennox. She thought that place was poor, but realizing there were worse places made her heart ache.

“Then how did you end up in the theater company?”

“The director saw me singing and begging on the street by chance. I was really lucky. Not that I didn’t suffer, but at least I got to do what I wanted.”

Harriet looked at the woman in front of her with some curiosity. Her tone was consistently gentle and calm. The thorny and sharp demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

“You seem to have changed a lot since I last saw you.”

Claire, smiling contentedly, got up and opened the window. The sound of waves gently breaking in filled the room.

“Listening to the sound of the waves and spending peaceful days here seems to have gradually worn down my thorns. The caretaker lady here told me that a person’s nature can change due to the environment, but it’s still something you hold onto. She said my original personality must have been like this.”

Harriet quietly watched Claire’s back as she stood by the window. She then quietly superimposed the back of her birth mother, whom she tried not to think about, over Claire’s.

Simultaneously, a question she hadn’t intended to ask slipped out.

“Do you love the child?”

“…I don’t know.”

Claire, who had turned to look at her at the sudden question, leaned against the window.

“I’ve never been deeply loved by someone, nor have I deeply loved anyone.”

Claire responded slowly, holding her lower belly as if cradling a child.

“But I’m grateful this child came to me, and I hope they are born healthy after the full months.”

“…”

Silence returned, and the sound of waves filled the void. After listening to the waves for a while, Harriet stood up.

“Are you leaving already?”

Claire, with a hint of regret, followed Harriet closely.

“I have a lot to do.”

“Even a wealthy and beautiful noble lady can’t just laze around, huh.”

Claire joked, then stopped Harriet, who was about to leave the room and go down the stairs.

“Right. I almost forgot to give you something.”

Harriet turned around to see Claire leaning on the railing. Claire smiled and dropped something.

It was a tea coaster knitted with yarn.

“Congratulations on your marriage. I knitted it clumsily but with effort.”

Harriet was silent for a moment, holding the coaster. Claire quickly asked.

“When will you come again if you leave now?”

In Claire’s eyes, it was as if she were waiting for a mother going far away. Harriet hesitated for a moment before replying.

“In a week.”

The frequency had dramatically increased from once every fortnight.

“Really?”

“You haven’t improved at chess at all. Practice more.”

Claire beamed with a broad smile, and the caretaker’s wife barely managed to stop her from following Harriet down.