Track 01. He and I Are Childhood Friends (Part 3)

They went straight to the Commander’s office.  

The Commander, Lord Schultz, was also her uncle. One of the reasons she could stay in the Moonlight Division, despite not being able to control her magic and frequently causing accidents, was thanks to Lord Schultz.  

But as soon as she entered the office and saw his stern face, she sensed an unpleasant conversation was coming.  

“I told the members that, but actually, this time we plan to go deep into the Siskiya Mountains. They say there’s a strange mana hole phenomenon detected there.”  

“That’s serious. But considering the area, it’s not surprising.”  

A mana hole is a distortion in mana that can cause monsters to emerge from the twisted space or people caught in it to be thrown into another time and space. It’s dangerous for ordinary people, so it’s best to find and stabilize it as soon as possible.  

‘This field training will be quite lengthy.’  

Although it’s called training, there was a clear objective. Finding the mana hole in those vast mountains wouldn’t be easy.  

‘How many ice packs should I bring?’  

While she was lost in such thoughts, Lord Schultz, who had been observing her, spoke in a blunt tone.  

“But Vivi, can you handle it?”  

“What?”  

She blinked at the unexpected question. Lord Schultz rubbed his forehead with his thick fingers. It was clear he found it frustrating to bring it up, but he forced himself to say it.  

“I’ve been watching until now, thinking your control ability would naturally improve.”  

At his comment, she bit her lip. It wasn’t an incorrect observation. As emotional disturbances decrease and experience increases, magic control naturally becomes more refined.  

“But you couldn’t control the fire yesterday, right?”  

“……Well, I was just really surprised yesterday.”  

She hung her head. Even as she spoke, she knew it wasn’t a proper excuse.  

‘A proper mage wouldn’t make such a mistake.’  

Having a lot of magic power was meaningless like this. Feeling troubled, she stared blankly at the floor.  

From Lord Schultz’s lips came the words she didn’t want to hear.  

“Have you thought about giving up being a mage?”  

“That’s……”  

Honestly, she had never considered that. From birth, everyone had told her this:  

• You must become the greatest mage in this country and bring honor to our family. That’s your mission, Vivian Gerhartz.  

‘I never thought of any other path.’  

Everyone had told her, struggling with her innate magic, that this was a trial to become the greatest mage.  

‘And now, another path?’  

Just as she thought she had reached her destination after passing through a narrow alley, a vast field unfolded before her.  

‘Then what was all my suffering for?’  

As she stood there, dazed with a sense of loss and frustration,  

“In my opinion.”  

Lord Schultz spoke slowly, yet clearly.  

“You’re not suited to be a mage.”  

It was practically a death sentence. Vivian froze like a stone.  

Thud.  

Her heart seemed to drop.  

‘To think I’d hear such words.’  

She clenched her trembling hands. It was already humiliating enough. She didn’t want to show the disgrace of collapsing or crying.  

But Lord Schultz immediately noticed her emotional turmoil. The intense heat spreading like the sun had been moved to the Commander’s office.  

“Calm down, Vivi.”  

“I, I……”  

All she could do was tightly grasp her magic to prevent a fire.  

Wiping the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief due to the sudden heat, Lord Schultz spoke.  

“If you can’t give up, how about leaving the knight order and moving to the academy? Focus on nurturing young mages. That might be better for you.”  

“But, Commander. I……”  

She bit her lip.  

‘Better for me?’  

Her mind was in chaos. An intense emotion she couldn’t clearly explain swirled inside her.  

‘Better to give up?’  

Seeing her agitation, Lord Schultz stood up awkwardly. He waved his hand as if trying to calm her down.  

“I’m not trying to belittle you, Vivi. Objectively, you’re sacrificing a lot to be a mage, but you shouldn’t gain less than you give up.”  

“I haven’t given up anything!”  

“How can you say you haven’t given up?”  

At her words, Lord Schultz frowned and asked back.  

“You could have chosen the life of an ordinary noble young lady.”  

At that, she froze.  

* * *

The life of a mage is far from ordinary.  

Since the core of magic lies in purity, they often avoid contact with others. Many wear gloves and cover their bodies with heavy clothing, leading to the stereotype that mages are gloomy.  

‘Of course, that doesn’t apply to me.’  

That’s the story of mages who can’t use more than three spells a day due to a lack of magic.  

For someone like her, overflowing with magic to the point of trouble, contact with others doesn’t disrupt her magic. Rather, she had to develop the habit of not touching others from a young age, fearing she might disturb their magic.  

‘So, Kanin was the only exception.’  

The only person in the world whose touch brought comfort, with refreshing and cool magic, was Kanin.  

‘Kanin wasn’t affected by my magic.’  

The fact that even her violent mana didn’t disturb him might be due to his terrifyingly calm nature.  

So she had taken it for granted, being in contact with Kanin and living a life drawing lines with others.  

But Lord Schultz had pierced through everything she had forgotten.  

• I’ll wait for your answer after the field training.  

Vivi, whatever your answer is, I hope you consider retirement seriously.  

Perhaps because he had to muster the courage to speak, Lord Schultz, while cautiously watching her, eventually said everything.  

It hurt her heart even more that he was speaking sincerely, thinking of her well-being.  

‘The life of an ordinary noble young lady.’

That part left her speechless. It was a life she had never considered.  

‘……Or did I really never think about it?’  

Her siblings, unlike her, hadn’t manifested as mages, so they were living the ordinary life Lord Schultz mentioned. Riding horses, taking walks, chatting with friends, and receiving education to inherit the family.  

They even found fiancés before the age of ten.  

‘And now such a life is unfolding before me?’  

Is this good or bad?  

Vivian couldn’t easily conclude. She walked slowly.  

‘Ah, my head hurts.’  

For the second day in a row, she had to trudge home with a headache.  

‘I need to soak in cold water.’  

Perhaps because she was agitated by Lord Schultz’s words earlier, her head throbbed, and her heart felt tight. If she let her guard down, she might lose control of her magic and cause an accident, so she stayed tense until she got home.  

But as the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.”  

Her grandfather, who usually didn’t call for her, summoned her.  

“Leave the Moonlight Division after this field training.”  

“……Grandfather.”  

Her grandfather, with curly golden hair and a rugged body, was doing lunges, bending and straightening his knees even as he called her.  

This man addicted to physical training, no, this muscular old man was her grandfather, Bendam Gerhartz.  

“If you can’t be the best, there’s no need to waste time there. You’ve already had many opportunities.”  

His round face and massive body didn’t match. His words, supposedly to his granddaughter, were rather cold. Vivian shrank her shoulders.  

“Th-that is……”  

“Am I wrong?”  

She clamped her mouth shut.  

‘He’s not wrong.’  

As her grandfather said, she had many opportunities.  

‘In fact, female mages are reluctant to marry because magic can transfer to the child during pregnancy.’  

But this uncomfortable reason, when reversed, becomes the possibility of producing a mage in the family. Though she’s a bit past marriageable age, finding someone to marry wouldn’t be difficult.  

Because of the mage’s lineage.  

‘Is that really the life I want?’  

Does she truly want to continue living as a mage?  

She couldn’t readily say yes. She just hadn’t thought of any path other than being a mage.