Track 02. I Am Strange (Part 1)

And so, her sick leave came to an end.  

“Young Lady, are you feeling better?”  

“Perfectly fine.”  

Perhaps because she had been bedridden for days, Nora looked at her with a worried expression. Vivian shook her head.  

‘It’s thanks to Kanin.’  

Ever since Kanin infused her with mana, her body felt completely refreshed. She scratched her cheek.  

‘I’ve ended up relying on him again.’  

She needed to practice overcoming things on her own without Kanin’s help.  

‘I need to try harder.’  

Although she resolved herself, the thought of the pain that felt like her body was cooking from the inside when she couldn’t control her magic made her lose confidence.  

As she prepared to go to work after a long time and put on her uniform, her grandfather, who rarely left his office, came out to see her off.  

“Did you sleep well, Grandfather?”  

Her grandfather clicked his tongue, his wrinkled face scrunched up.  

“Why don’t you quit this time?”  

To say such a thing the moment he saw her face—Vivian gave an awkward smile.  

“Even if I quit, I need to hand things over properly. And there are things to organize.”  

“What is there to organize?”  

“Haha.”  

She avoided answering with a laugh, but in truth, her grandfather was right. There was nothing to organize.  

‘That would be my identity as a mage.’  

The accident-prone mage with overflowing but uncontrollable magic, Vivian Gerhartz.  

‘Maybe it’s lucky I can stop now.’  

She decided to take small comfort in the fact that she realized this before she grew older and her options narrowed further.  

“I’ll go along on this expedition. After that, I’ll follow your advice, Grandfather.”  

Though it was the most compromising answer she could give, it still didn’t seem to satisfy her grandfather.  

With a deep frown, he spoke in a blunt tone.  

“I’ve arranged a meeting.”  

“What?”  

A meeting? What kind of meeting?  

‘Does he mean the kind of meeting I’m thinking of?’  

Judging by her grandfather’s serious expression, it seemed her understanding was correct. He sighed through his nose and added.  

“I’ve scheduled it for after the expedition, out of respect for your opinion. Understood?”  

“……Yes. Thank you, Grandfather.”  

It seemed that was the best compromise she could get. Vivian responded in a small voice.  

Even to her own ears, her answer was barely audible.  

* * *

“Why are you so lost in thought, Vivi?”  

“Huh?”  

At the unfamiliar voice ringing in her ears, Vivian quickly raised her head. In front of her stood a lively woman with short, bright green hair and her hands on her hips.  

It was Ain Brille, her fellow member in the Moonlight Division.  

“Did something happen? You just came back from resting at home, but you look so out of it.”  

“I’m not out of it at all.”  

Vivian smiled faintly and answered Ain’s question. Ain narrowed her dark green eyes and stared at her.  

“Vivi.”  

“Really, I’m fine, Ain.”  

Was it written on my forehead that I was “tired and full of worries”?  

‘Even Ain is concerned about me.’  

Even though she wasn’t particularly close to the other members of the Moonlight Division, Ain was one of the few people she had spoken to.  

‘Was she always this beautiful?’  

Up close, Ain’s long eyelashes and smooth porcelain-like skin stood out.  

As Vivian stared at her in awe, Ain leaned in and whispered cautiously.  

“I heard the news. You’re finally going to meet my brother, aren’t you?”  

“What? W-what?”  

It was completely unexpected. Vivian blinked her large eyes in confusion. Ain frowned at her surprised expression.  

“Don’t tell me it’s not true? Did I hear wrong?”  

“T-that is…….”  

It was true that she was going to a meeting. But she didn’t know who the other party was. After all, she had only learned about the meeting today!  

‘And it’s Ain’s brother?’  

The Brille family wasn’t known for mages, but they were a prestigious family with wealth and history. Ain’s parents were also highly regarded in social circles.  

‘Grandfather really found a suitable match.’  

It was amazing how he had arranged such an appropriate family in such a short time.  

Fearing that Ain might find her silence strange, Vivian answered in a trembling voice.  

“Y-yes.”  

“I must have startled you by bringing it up so suddenly. I’m sorry.”  

“It’s fine.”  

Ain turned out to be much more considerate than Vivian had expected.  

‘If it were me, I wouldn’t have had the composure to consider someone else’s feelings.’  

Perhaps she had been so focused on herself that she hadn’t noticed those around her. She felt a twinge of self-reproach.  

Judging that her tension had eased, Ain fully settled beside her and asked with shining eyes.

“So, are you quitting being a mage?”

Ugh. That was too straightforward. She laughed awkwardly.

“Ah, no. Isn’t it too early to talk about the future?”

“Ah, that’s true.”

Perhaps thinking she was getting ahead of herself, Ain lowered her head again and apologized. Then she smiled brightly and said,

“I hope it goes well. Not just because he’s my brother, but he really likes you a lot.”

“Really?”

‘I don’t even know his face.’

The thought that someone she didn’t even know liked her made her start to feel uncomfortable. Yet, she couldn’t just get up and leave, so she tightly gripped the chair she was sitting in.

“Vivi.”

“Kanin.”

A cold, heavy voice called her name from behind. She saw familiar black hair, a handsome face, and cold blue eyes.

Seeing Kanin approaching, Ain whispered to her in a small voice.

“Does Kanin not know either?”

“Yes.”

Honestly, she didn’t know until this morning.

Saying that would be like smearing dirt on her grandfather’s face, so she just gave a clumsy smile. Ain nodded as if she understood and stood up energetically.

“Then I’ll be going. Prepare well for the expedition, Vivi.”

“Yes.”

Finally, Ain left. She let out a big sigh of relief and leaned back against the chair.

‘Ah, uncomfortable.’

Even a colleague she had known for a long time felt this uncomfortable, so how uncomfortable would it be with a suitor she was meeting for the first time?

‘Should I just refuse now?’

But it wasn’t that she really didn’t want to go. In the end, she just felt indifferent.

‘Then maybe it’s better to just do as the adults say.’

While thinking that, she pouted her lips, and Kanin placed a hand on her shoulder.

“……Are you okay?”

Kanin’s question was a bit strange. She tilted her head and then replied with a bright smile.

“Yes. Very good.”

“That’s not what I meant…….”

“Hmm?”

Unable to understand Kanin’s words, she opened her eyes wide. Kanin, who was choosing his words with lips slightly parted, eventually sighed.

“Never mind.”

How pointless. She shrugged her shoulders.

***

A few days passed like that, and finally, the day of the expedition, which would be her last mission as a mage, arrived.

Lord Schultz, the commander of Moonlight Division, came to her secretly from the other members and offered words of encouragement.

“I heard the story. You’ve made a difficult decision.”

“I just decided to follow what was recommended to me.”

“It will be the right path. Don’t worry.”

“…….”

Listening to Lord Schultz’s words, a nasty thought suddenly arose from a corner of her mind.

‘What is the standard for the right path?’

Two paths lay before her. One was to live as a mage as she had been, and the other was to give up being a mage, become someone’s wife, and live as a typical noble lady, having and raising children.

Who decides what is happy and what is right?

‘……But it’s true that I’m a half-baked mage.’

Yet, to strongly oppose the adults, she was an inadequate mage who couldn’t even control the magic within her own body. Insisting on continuing something she wasn’t good at, which could even harm others, would be selfish.

‘As a result, Kanin would have to stay tied to me.’

She clenched her fist. The heat swirling inside the white gloves had already made her palms damp.

Normally, Kanin’s cold mana would have cooled her body by now, but this time, he didn’t take such action.

‘If I were his girlfriend, I wouldn’t like it.’

Mana resided in her heart. To cool her body with water-attributed mana, she had to make physical contact with the other person. The more sensitive and blood-rich areas like the nape of the neck or inside the mouth touched, the more effective it was.

What woman in the world would like her lover to embrace another woman by the neck?

‘Since Kanin seems dense, I have to be careful on my own.’

If she didn’t step back like this, kind-hearted Kanin would surely keep reaching out to help her.

‘But I can’t let that happen anymore.’

So she had to draw the line herself.

“Now, mount your horses.”

She mounted her horse. Kanin, who was nearby, looked at her with a worried gaze.

She nodded to indicate that she was okay.

“Then, let’s move out!”

Lord Schultz commanded loudly. She kicked the reins.

“Hyah!”

It was the start of the expedition to the hottest region of this country, the south.