Track 04. An Impulsive Reply (Part 2)

“Ah.”  

And when she lifted her head, she realized, thanks to Raphael’s wounded expression, that she hadn’t listened to him again.  

“I’m not feeling well today. May I go in early and rest?”  

Meeting him while being unable to focus was ultimately disrespectful to him.  

However, Raphael, whom she expected to stand up readily, unexpectedly asked with a sunken expression,  

“……Is it because of Young Master Albrecht?”  

“What?”  

“The person you’ve been thinking about. Is it Young Master Albrecht?”  

“Well, that’s…”

How did he know it was Kanin?

Feeling suddenly caught off guard, she parted her lips. Raphael’s face twisted into a mess.  

“So he confessed to you after all!”

What was he talking about?  

This man seemed to interpret everything in the world too emotionally. She hurriedly waved her hand.  

“No! It’s not like that.”  

“Not like that?”  

“Well, Kanin has, um…”

Vivian hesitated for a moment. She wasn’t sure if she should say it. After a brief pause, she answered in a small voice.

“Kanin has a girlfriend.”  

“What?”  

Raphael’s eyes widened in a different meaning this time. He asked, unable to believe it.  

“Are you sure?”  

“Yes, almost…….”  

Wouldn’t someone who sends messages like that definitely have a girlfriend?

“That’s…….”  

Raphael opened his mouth to say something but ended up just gaping. It was natural for him to be at a loss for words, as he didn’t know much about Kanin.  

‘It’s the same for me too.’  

Perhaps the Kanin she knew was different from the real Kanin.  

Recently, everything about Kanin had changed. From his sensual lips to his irritable tone, everything.  

‘Kanin…….’  

Thinking of Kanin again, her heart sank deeply, and she pressed her lips together.  

Since it didn’t seem like they’d be able to continue the conversation, their date ended there. 

***

“Take care.”  

Having come by carriage, she got off in front of her house. Though there was quite a distance from the gate to the inside, she wanted to walk.  

‘My head is a mess.’  

Maybe moving around would help clear her thoughts. Just as she was about to take a step, a desperate voice called from behind.  

“Can I see you tomorrow?”  

“Oh.”  

Vivian forced an awkward smile. Honestly, she didn’t want to see anyone right now.

Just as she was about to politely refuse, she saw Raphael’s face looking at her.  

A desperate, helpless expression.  

‘Ah, it’s about time to give him an answer.’  

It was time to stop giving him false hope. She felt that way.  

“Young Master Brille.”  

“Of course, you must have important matters to attend to. You’ve only just arrived in the capital, and we’ve been meeting so often…”

Seeing her serious expression, Raphael hurriedly cut her off. When she pressed her lips together with a reluctant expression, he bowed his head and spoke.  

“I’m sorry for being impatient, Miss. But if I don’t convey my feelings, I feel you won’t understand…….”  

For a moment, she wanted to cover her ears. But before she could stop him, his words reached her.  

“I love you, Vivian.”  

Hearing his confession, her heart felt like it dropped.  

“Um, Raphael.”  

Her ears were ringing with the sound of her rapidly beating heart. It was not a good sign.  

‘My mana is surging.’

As her mind wavered, the mana inside her body began to rage. She opened her hand to stop him from coming closer. Her head spun for a moment.  

“I’m sorry, but…….”  

It’s dangerous, so please step back from me.  

She intended to say that. But Raphael, thinking her gesture was a rejection of his confession, reached out and grabbed her wrist tightly.  

“Please consider it seriously! I truly love you.”  

“Raphael!”  

At that moment.  

Whoosh!  

Uncontrolled flames rose and encircled them. Raphael, startled, released her hand and stepped back.  

“Ah!”  

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”  

The rampaging mana was quite threatening after a long time. It seemed even more excited since it hadn’t been this agitated recently. She closed her eyes tightly and clasped her hands together.  

‘Quickly, quickly extinguish.’  

What did I do in such situations before?  

‘Kanin used to help…….’  

Just having Kanin by her side helped her quickly regain stability.  

But.  

‘Kanin won’t come to help anymore.’  

At this moment, there was no hand to help her. She desperately focused on calming her heart.  

‘Stop! Stop it!’  

It took about 30 minutes to completely calm down.  

* * *

Realizing he could have been burned to death, Raphael turned pale and left as if fleeing. Barely saying goodbye, she went up to her room and collapsed onto her bed.  

“Everything is a mess.”  

Nothing had changed. She was still a half-baked mage who couldn’t stabilize her mana and remained a threat to others.  

Her personal maid, Nora, cautiously peeked through the door.  

“Um, Miss.”  

With her face buried in the pillow, she replied,  

“Leave me alone.”  

“But…….”  

“If you don’t want to see things burning, leave me alone! Just bring me some ice water!”  

“Eek!”  

Normally, she wouldn’t have been so hysterical, but Vivian was emotionally exhausted, and harsh words slipped out. 

Nora left in a hurry. After lying down for a long while, Vivian sighed and sat up.  

‘I took out my frustration on her for no reason. I should apologize later.’

She couldn’t forget Raphael’s face, who had looked at her like a monster and fled. The flames that had danced around her, the burning sensation in her chest.  

‘It’s painful.’  

Perhaps because she had let go of the resolve she once held, everything suddenly felt overwhelming.  

‘How long do I have to endure this? Until I have a child and pass on my magic, as Grandfather says?’  

A pain unknown to anyone, a burden she had to bear alone.  

‘How long do I have to carry this?’  

She realized how arrogant it was to decide to let go of Kanin’s hand.  

She had set out to walk through an endless desert, turning her back on her only oasis.  

‘And in doing so, I hurt Kanin.’  

What was the point of such a resolution? 

She felt a sense of self-loathing. But thinking that far snapped her back to reality.  

The reason she had made such a resolution in the first place was for Kanin’s sake.  

‘Yes. Because Kanin found someone precious.’  

Because he now had someone more important than her, she had decided to let go of his hand.  

‘Not because I wanted to.’  

Tears welled up. She clenched her fists, fearing she might set her room on fire again.  

Just then.  

Flicker, flicker.

The crystal orb in the corner of the room lit up. Her eyes widened.  

“Kanin……?”  

At this moment, she missed him unbearably. She wanted to hold tightly onto his hands, which were so warm and kind, despite not matching his cold, icy gaze.

‘Did you send a message because you’re worried about me?’  

Do I still have a place in your heart?  

If so, there’s something I want to say to you too. Letting you go freely isn’t my true intention.  

In fact, I……  

“Kanin.”  

For the first time, she felt she could honestly pour everything out to him. She stood in front of the crystal orb, her voice trembling.  

But the message that arrived was brutally cruel.  

[I want to hold you in front of the mirror. I want to show you how beautiful your face is as it crumbles under my touch.]  

“Kanin!”  

Tears she had held back burst forth as she read the message. She bit her lip hard. Blood spilled as her lip split.  

‘……You asked why I didn’t reply?’  

She hadn’t replied because she didn’t know what to say. The message wasn’t meant for her.  

‘If only I were the one receiving this message.’  

Would I have been happy with this unexpected message?  

‘Kanin, there’s something I want to tell you.’  

She quickly entered the code number of the crystal orb she would send her message to.  

There was only one thing she wanted to say.  

[I like you.]  

So stop sending me those obscene messages.  

‘Because it feels like my heart is breaking.’  

Only after sending the message did she realize the reason she had been feeling uneasy about Kanin lately, the reason their relationship couldn’t go back to the way it was.

‘I love Kanin.’  

This realization was unbearably cruel to her. She collapsed onto the bed and cried her heart out.