Track 05. Kanin’s Circumstances (Part 2)

Just as in their innocent first meeting, Vivian was truly indifferent to others. More precisely, she was too busy dealing with the mana that tormented her to pay attention to others.

‘She doesn’t have to be so withdrawn.’

What does it matter if she burns a room or two? Vivian’s value as a mage far exceeded the rooms she burned.

But kind-hearted Vivian didn’t think that way.

“I’m too scared I might hurt others.”

One day, Vivian said this to Kanin during a gathering of families above the rank of Earl.

“Vivian.”

“That’s why I don’t want to make friends. Those people are ordinary. What if I accidentally spew flames?”

“Well…….”

I’m here, so it’s okay.

He could have said that. It was true. With Kanin present, such accidents wouldn’t happen. Though he was a mage with much weaker mana than Vivian, he was exceptionally effective in calming her. Because Vivian genuinely trusted and relied on him.

“…….”

But Kanin didn’t say those words. Unlike the oblivious Vivian, Kanin knew how many boys at the gathering were looking at her.

She’s incredibly pretty. I want to hold her hand.

Did you talk to her?

Her voice is pretty too.

Fools who liked Vivian just for her appearance.

‘Nothing good will come from her being friends with those guys.’

In truth, there was a baser emotion writhing deep within him, more than the reason he used as a shield.

‘I want to monopolize Vivian.’

If things stayed as they were, Vivian would only rely on Kanin. She would open her heart only to Kanin, share her stories, and hold his hand, smiling.

Kanin didn’t want to lose that position to anyone else.

“……Sorry, Vivi.”

“Kanin?”

A faint sense of guilt, and the mental satisfaction from her relying solely on him.

Kanin gently took Vivian’s hand with a sudden apology and kissed the back of it.

‘It’s warm.’

A summer-like intense warmth rushed toward his lips.

“Kanin…….”

As she blushed, Kanin merely lifted the corners of his mouth in a faint smile.

He liked her.

But despite his earnest feelings, their relationship continued to stagnate. From the start, the concept of romance was absent from Vivian’s mind.

“My younger sibling is getting married soon.”

Hearing this with a smile, Kanin raised his head.

‘Marriage.’

A ceremony where society acknowledges a man and woman as husband and wife. Just thinking about marriage made Kanin’s heart race.

‘I want to marry you too.’

As the years went by, Vivian blossomed into a rose in full bloom, becoming even more beautiful. Freed from the heat that had tormented her throughout her childhood thanks to Kanin, she shone even brighter.

Her rosy cheeks glowed vibrantly, her slightly tanned skin made her look healthy and lively, her thick, soft hair cascaded down her back, and her golden eyes sparkled brilliantly.

She was of average height, small and delicate enough to fit into his arms, yet her chest was round and full, like a ripe peach.

Even just walking down the street, sharp gazes were drawn to her. Her charm had grown so much that it could no longer be hidden.

The more that happened, the more Kanin’s heart felt uneasy and restless.

‘I’m still by your side, but it’s not enough.’

He was bothered by the gazes directed at her. If he could, he wanted to lock her in his arms and have her only look at him.

He wanted to boldly claim her as his woman.

But Kanin couldn’t reveal such feelings. And it wasn’t just him. No one who harbored feelings for Vivian could approach her.

Because her defenses were firm.

“She wore a wedding dress, and it was amazing. It was so pretty. The lace was so long that someone clumsy like me would probably trip over it.”

You wouldn’t have the chance to trip. I’d just pick you up and carry you.

Holding back the urge to say that, Kanin watched Vivian. A faint hope lingered in his heart.

“……So? How did you feel?”

Did you want to wear a wedding dress? Did you think about marriage?

‘Is there room for me in your heart now?’

Various questions swirled in his mind. Kanin held back all the things he wanted to ask. Just then.

Vivian answered with a bright smile.

“I just thought it was interesting. I’m not going to get married, though.”

“Not going to?”

“Yes. Mages don’t usually get married, right?”

“…….”

The essence of mana is purity. Since even non-mage humans have a small amount of mana flowing through them, many mages are obsessively averse to contact with others.

‘But you’re not like that.’

That’s only true for mages who are anxious due to a lack of mana.

For mages like Vivian, or even Kanin, the overwhelming amount of mana made contact meaningless. Even if two people hugged, they would only find comfort in each other’s mana, without changing attributes.

In other words, Vivian could marry if she wanted.

‘If only she could think a little more flexibly.’

Vivian was someone who could marry, have a family, and still be a mage. Yet she thought, like other mages, that marriage and romance weren’t for her.

Realizing for a moment that there was still no room in her heart, Kanin brushed his hair back.

‘Maybe that’s for the best.’

Rather than dealing with the guys circling her like vultures, maybe it’s better that she’s building her own defenses.

‘After all, I’m still the closest person to her.’

Kanin looked at Vivian with calm eyes. Without knowing what he was thinking, Vivian lay on the table and rubbed her forehead against the back of his hand.

“Hehe, I like you the most, Kanin.”

“…….”

Every time she approached him so carelessly and vulnerably, Kanin’s throat tightened. Swallowing dryly, he closed his eyes tightly.

“……Yes.”

All he could do was answer as indifferently and coldly as possible. But contrary to his cool and composed exterior, his mind was filled with lewd imaginations.

‘I want to hold you.’

Just holding her hand, just cradling that beautiful face in his palm was so warm and made his heart race. How wonderful it would be to hold her in his arms.

If he could bury himself in her most intimate places…

“Vivi.”

Every night, Kanin thought of Vivian. Imagining removing the light shirt she always wore and exploring the skin he had never seen. Sliding his hand through her beautiful hair, pulling her tear-streaked face closer, and roughly pushing his tongue in.

Kanin.

Then she would call his name, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Ugh.”

Thinking of a tearful Vivian, sticky s*men spilled from his loosely rubbing tip. Kanin closed his eyes tightly.

It was still okay. For now. It seemed he could maintain this balance and live his life.

It was recently that this strange balance began to break.

* * *

‘It’s chaotic.’

The delegation from Adelbar arrived, and it was decided that the Albrecht Ducal family would host them. With few hands available and the rarity of mages in Adelbar, Kanin had to accompany Edward from Adelbar several times, following his father.

After the Moonlight Division’s mission ended, the schedule of assisting his father with the delegation was exhausting.

In the midst of those busy days, it seemed he missed changes in Vivian’s situation.

‘Vivi?’

Vivian always had her designated place. Whether it was at meals or during meetings, it was always by Kanin’s side.

It was as natural as breathing.

“Hmm?”

But today, she was sitting somewhere else, not in her usual spot.

‘Is she uncomfortable?’

Having been together for so long, he couldn’t imagine she was intentionally avoiding him. Tilting his head, Kanin naturally pulled out the chair next to Vivian and sat down.

And only after sitting did he realize.

“You’re sitting here?”

That she had deliberately chosen to sit elsewhere to avoid him.

‘Why all of a sudden?’

Kanin’s voice naturally lowered at Vivian’s incomprehensible behavior. A red light flashed in his mind. It was not a good sign.

“……Did someone else plan to sit here?”

“Ah, no.”

Vivian’s visible embarrassment was suspicious to anyone. It was written all over her face: ‘There’s a reason.’ Kanin narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t pinpoint a reason.

“Why are you acting like this? Did something happen?”

“Ah, no.”

At Kanin’s persistent questioning, Vivian scratched her temple and laughed awkwardly.

“It’s just… you looked unfamiliar today.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Vivian’s awkward laughter made Kanin smile back. But inside, his heart had already turned cold as ice.

‘There’s no way Vivian would act like this for no reason.’

Vivian, being as oblivious as she was, wasn’t someone whose feelings changed easily. Yet here she was, avoiding Kanin, someone she relied on more than her own parents.

There was definitely something going on.

‘I hope it’s something good.’

He wished that her behavior, which seemed to be conscious of him, was positive for him.

‘Unfortunately, that’s unlikely.’

Kanin pretended not to look while carefully observing Vivian’s expression. Her face, which was turning pale and then red, was quite a sight.

‘……?’

It seemed like she had heard something, but unfortunately, he couldn’t figure out what it was.

‘What’s going on?’

While Vivian was completely lost in her thoughts and Kanin was trying to guess the meaning behind her actions, Vivian, unable to organize her overflowing thoughts, finally asked Kanin.

“Kanin, are you getting married?”

‘Marriage?’

Kanin frowned and looked at Vivian. His deeply sunken eyes flickered slightly.

“What’s with the sudden question?”

“No reason, just curious.”

“You usually aren’t interested in such things.”

When her sister got married, it was Vivian who drew a line, saying she wasn’t interested in marriage.

‘So why suddenly marriage?’

Kanin lowered his head slightly. Vivian’s face came closer in a flash. A sweet scent, like melted candy, tickled his sense of smell.

‘She’s tempting.’

The sweet scent made his head spin for a moment. He wanted to embrace her immediately and hold her in his arms.

‘Could it be… she’s finally interested in marriage?’