Track 05. Kanin’s Circumstances (Part 3)

Vivian’s strange behavior continued afterward.

“Vivi, when are you free?”

“For what?”  

“We should practice together before the training, shouldn’t we?”

“Oh……”  

Before the field training, they needed time to stabilize their mana concentration. It was the time Kanin was happiest because he could spend a long time holding Vivian’s hand.

‘Should I get a little closer this time?’

How wonderful would it be to kiss her? 

With such thoughts, Kanin reached out to Vivian.

But what was this? Vivian, whom he expected to naturally hold his hand, avoided it.

“It’s okay.”  

“What?”

Kanin’s eyes widened at Vivian’s reply. Vivian had never refused Kanin’s hand before.

‘But why this time…….’

The trembling eyes were hidden behind his sparkling glasses. Unaware of Kanin’s agitation, Vivian forced a smile. Her trembling hands were clearly visible to Kanin.

“It’s okay now. I’ll handle it myself.”  

“Vivi.”

Kanin reached out to hold Vivian again. But Vivian avoided his hand once more, as if to confirm it wasn’t a mistake. Frowning, he looked at her, and Vivian gave an awkward smile.

“I should be able to go on missions without you now. How long are you going to waste time stabilizing my magic, when you’re such a skilled mage?”  

At Vivian’s words, Kanin’s face hardened. He replied in a stiff tone.

“I never thought it was a waste.”

“No, it is a waste.”

Biting her lips hard to keep from crying, clenching her fists, and trembling, she pushed Kanin away.

“Well, make sure you’re prepared, Kanin.”

Kanin stared blankly at Vivian as she brushed past him and left.

It was the first time he saw her back.

‘What on earth is going on?’

Vivian’s change was too obvious to ignore.

‘Vivian is rejecting me.’

He had always been the closest person to her, but recently she was pushing him away.

She even had secrets now.

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

She was speaking with Ain, with whom she usually had a distant relationship. And she was hiding the content of those conversations from him.

Now, she was even claiming to be sick and taking leave.

‘What on earth is going on?’

It didn’t feel right. Suddenly, and without explanation, he was being pushed out of her inner circle. The composure on Kanin’s face disappeared.

‘I need to meet her and talk.’

If she was pushing him away because she hated him, that would be one thing. But he couldn’t just stand by and do nothing while being rejected without reason. So Kanin went directly to the Gerhartz family estate.

“The young lady is unwell. Please come another time.”

“…….”

The Gerhartz family was cold to Kanin. Kanin sighed.

‘Should I force my way in?’

He knew exactly where Vivian’s room was. And he was a skilled mage. He could easily find her by force.

‘I wonder what Vivian would think…….’

While he was pondering, a petite woman secretly called him, who was being turned away. It was none other than Vivian’s personal maid, Nora.

“Young Master.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll show you a secret way in. Please stay by the young lady’s side.”

“But if you do that, you’ll be punished.”

Although Kanin had been willing to force his way in, he hesitated when Nora actively offered to help. If he forced his way in, he could just take the punishment. But Nora’s situation was different.

Nora made a tearful face at Kanin’s words.

“That’s true, but the young lady is just too pitiful.”

“Vivi?”

“She’s really unwell. Her mana is out of control, and even when she enters cold water, it boils quickly.”

“…….”

Lately, she had been stubbornly refusing contact with Kanin, and her mana seemed to be raging.

‘She must be suffering.’

After reassuring Nora not to worry, Kanin secretly went up to Vivian’s room through the path Nora showed him.

Vivian’s room, which he reached, hadn’t changed. The whole room was filled with a sweet scent. It was Vivian’s scent.

‘It makes me dizzy.’

Although it wasn’t the first time he set foot in Vivian’s private space, he felt his hair standing on end. Taking deep breaths to calm his excited heart, Kanin walked toward the bed.

“……!!”

As Nora had said, Vivian was groaning in pain.

‘Why didn’t you call me until you ended up like this, Vivi?’

In one corner of the room, a crystal orb lay quietly. She could have just rubbed it and sent him a message.

‘If you had just sent a message saying “come,” I would have come running immediately.’

Kanin pulled up a chair and sat by Vivian’s head. Her cheeks, flushed with fever, pained his heart. Kanin reached out his hand.

‘Don’t be in pain, Vivi.’

As soon as his hand touched her, the fire mana that had been swirling aimlessly inside her body rushed into him.

The familiar warmth made his heart pound. Kanin closed his eyes and infused his water mana into Vivian’s body.

‘Don’t push me away.’

It felt so good.

The emotions he had harbored for years made his heart ache. Seeing her lying so weakly made him even more desperate.

‘Be my woman, Vivi.’

He could chase away her heat. And she could warmly embrace him.

If this wasn’t destiny, then what was?

‘If you’ve made room in your heart for someone… please, let it be me.’

Desperately wishing, Kanin stroked Vivian’s cheek. At that moment.

Lick.

Vivian’s eyelids fluttered, and her coral lips parted, revealing a cute red tongue. Then suddenly, she licked his finger.

“……!!”

Startled, Kanin pulled his hand away. But then Vivian grabbed his wrist tightly.

‘No.’

The moment her tongue licked his fingertip, his member stood er*ect. Staring at Vivian as if struck by lightning, Kanin watched.

Vivian softly gasped, calling his name.

“Kanin.”

“…….”

He couldn’t answer. Just suppressing the boiling emotions took all his strength.

‘You’re the only one who shakes me like this.’

The conflicting desires—to immediately climb on top of her or to treat her as delicately as fragile glass—tangled messily in his heart.

All these emotions were ones only Vivian could give to Kanin.

Her long eyelashes fluttered like a butterfly. Then tears rolled down from her eyes. Kanin sighed. Her fragile appearance made his chaotic mind lean toward the latter.

“Why are you crying?”

Seeing her tears made him want to hug her and whisper endlessly sweet words. Vivian sat up awkwardly as Kanin helped her.

“Why am I crying like this?”

“……”  

Even the tears flowing down her white hand were lovely. He wanted to hold that slender wrist and lick the tears immediately.

Kanin stared at Vivian and tilted his head.

“You’ve been acting strange lately. Suddenly getting sick when you weren’t before, crying, saying strange things.”

Talking about marriage, too.

Kanin’s eyes darkened to a deep navy. He asked seriously.

“What’s really going on? Can’t you tell me?”

After a long hesitation, Vivian finally revealed the reason.

“Do you think… I’m not suited to be a mage?”

“…….”

The pounding in his chest quickly turned to anger. Kanin clenched his fist tightly, out of Vivian’s sight.

‘Who said such nonsense?’

Without knowing how seriously Vivian was contemplating, people around her shook her with such words.

‘She’s trying so hard.’

For the person speaking, it might be easy to say since it’s not their life. But for Vivian, it was a matter of life.

‘And was that why you were avoiding me?’

It was clear someone had said she couldn’t even be a proper mage without Kanin. Resenting the person who casually threw a word, shaking even his position, Kanin spoke seriously.

“It suits you well.”  

“Don’t lie.”

“Not many people are born with a lot of magic. That’s a talent in itself.”  

“R-really?”  

Vivian’s blushing face, awkward from receiving rare praise, was lovely. At that moment, Kanin’s suppressed emotions burst out.

“And.”

Kanin slightly lifted his hips and moved closer to Vivian.

At a distance close enough to kiss by just lowering his head, Kanin whispered to Vivian.

“You have me.”

It didn’t matter if she didn’t marry. It didn’t matter if she didn’t become his woman.

‘I want to be by your side.’

If he could be the closest person to her in the world, he could be satisfied even if he wasn’t her man.

‘Please understand my feelings.’

Many words swirling in his heart but unable to come out were conveyed in Kanin’s gaze toward Vivian. Vivian’s face turned bright red.

“K-Kanin, you’re too close.”  

Vivian’s breath mingled warmly with Kanin’s. Vivian backed away as if trying to escape from Kanin.

Unable to bear her avoiding gaze, Kanin climbed onto the bed on his knees.

Thump thump.

Vivian’s small body fit entirely between Kanin’s two arms. Even though he always thought her body was small, looking down from above made her look even smaller.

Kanin spoke seriously.

“I can help you. What’s the problem?”

But unexpectedly, Vivian pushed Kanin away with a firm tone.

“I can’t rely on you forever.”

“Why not?”  

“Why, you ask?”  

Vivian opened her lips, sobbing. Her thin voice, squeezed out with difficulty, barely flowed out.

“Because we’re nothing to each other.”  

“……”  

Kanin was deeply shocked by those words.