Chapter 21 – I Didn’t Hold You

Was that really…?

“If it’s an urgent matter, perhaps I could come back after you finish speaking with Prince Eselyn…”

Seilia, cautiously trying to seize the opportunity, spoke softly. However, Leo’s sharp gaze, as if daring her to say one more word, caused her lips to seal shut automatically.

“Then, I shall take my leave, Your Majesty.”

After bowing his head, Prince Eselyn offered a faint smile toward Seilia before walking away.  

As Seilia watched his retreating figure, Leo approached her with an unsettlingly warm demeanor and asked,  

“Shall we go inside, Madame?”  

It truly felt like she was being dragged to the slaughterhouse.  

Seilia was practically shoved into the office, and the door closed ominously behind Leo as he entered last.  

Leo leaned against the door, blocking her way out, as if to shatter any last hope she might have had of escaping.  

“If you’re thinking of running away again like you did this morning… it’s best to wake up from such dreams now, Empress.”  

Leo shrugged off the outer garment he had loosely draped over his shoulders and tossed it onto a nearby chair. Then, he began approaching Seilia slowly.  

‘Damn it… Don’t come any closer!’  

Seilia backed away toward a corner, pressing herself against the wall as she eyed Leo warily.  

This was too much. No matter how you looked at it, this was truly unfair.  

Seilia narrowed her eyes and glared at Leo.  

“Are you seriously planning to kill me just because I used your arm as a pillow last night?”  

“Do you truly believe that’s all you did? What about everything else you did last night?”  

At this moment, it was Leo who seemed even more bewildered by the situation.  

Did she genuinely not remember what had happened late last night? Or was she shamelessly pretending she didn’t?  

He decided it was worth confirming.  

Leo, his voice low and steady, asked as he took a step closer to Seilia, who was still pressed against the corner.  

“Well, then, what exactly do you think you did?”  

Surely, it couldn’t be…?  

The saying “assumptions can kill” felt all too real now.  

No wonder her back had been aching and stiff all morning.  

Fidgeting with her fingers, Seilia felt as though her worst fears were becoming reality.  

She had to find a way to survive this moment, no matter what.  

Babbling nervously, Seilia began spewing whatever came to mind in an attempt to defuse the situation.  

“We’re both young, so mistakes like this can happen anytime. Besides, neither of us has feelings for the other, so it’s just…”  

Leo, who had been quietly watching her, reached out and grabbed her chin with one hand, silencing her rambling.  

Her small, sharp face, which had resembled a wildcat moments ago, now looked like a helpless rabbit caught in the claws of a predator.  

For a moment, silence enveloped them as Leo coldly stared down at Seilia, who looked up at him with wide, startled eyes.  

Leo’s mind worked quickly to piece everything together.  

The strange things she had been saying, the way she had been trying to avoid him—it all clicked into place.  

“That’s not it.”  

“…What do you mean, ‘that’s not it’? Speak clearly so I can understand.”  

Leo, still holding her chin, loosened his grip slightly and spoke in a low voice.  

“I didn’t hold you last night. And neither did you hold me.”  

With those words, Seilia’s entire face turned red, as if it had been set on fire.  

She wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. She had spent the entire day lost in her own baseless fantasies.  

Desperately, she tried to deny it.  

“When did I ever think that?”  

“I don’t know what you were expecting, but you were simply too drunk to keep your balance and ended up lying down next to me. And I, despite wanting to toss you aside, held back and slept there.”  

Seilia couldn’t even argue against the obvious truth. She could only press her lips tightly together.  

At least it wasn’t the worst-case scenario. That was a small relief.  

As Seilia let out a small sigh of relief, her breath brushed against Leo’s hand, causing his brow to furrow.  

Leo, who had been loosening his grip, suddenly tightened it again, a playful smile forming on his lips.  

His gaze, as he looked at the small rabbit before him, was that of a predator toying with its prey.  

Feeling his firm yet careful grip, Seilia winced.  

“It’s far too early to feel relieved. You haven’t even explained what you did yet.”  

“Stop wasting time and just say what you have to say.”  

Thinking this was the end of it, Seilia’s attitude was bold. But her confidence didn’t last long.  

“You drank two bottles of wine left by the attendants, hurled some vulgar insults at me, tried to leave, only to grab me and climb on top of me before passing out drunk and sleeping until morning.”  

Leo, wanting to see her flustered face, lifted her chin higher, preventing her from looking away.  

Hearing the detailed account of her drunken antics, Seilia was utterly speechless.  

‘Damn it… It’s always the alcohol.’  

She could only blame herself for her love of drinking, which always seemed to lead to trouble.  

Leo’s fingers lightly tapped her face.  

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”  

Though his lips curved into a warm smile, his eyes remained as cold and sharp as ever.  

How could I speak when his gaze was so intimidating?  

Leo released her chin and, this time, used his cold fingers to tap her lips.  

“You were speaking so freely earlier. Why are you silent now, Madame?”  

The words she managed to force out were a weak excuse.  

“…I usually have very refined drinking habits.”  

“Don’t spout nonsense. You know that’s not what I want to hear.”  

It was no use.  

“So, what do you want me to do? You’re not asking for an explanation, so there must be something you want from me.”  

Leo, as if he had been waiting for her to say that, let out a soft laugh.  

“You’ll have to do the same.”  

“What do you mean by that?”  

Seilia, sensing something ominous, looked at him with a mixture of confusion and unease.  

“I refuse. I can’t do it.”  

When Seilia sharply turned her head away, Leo’s cold hand gently but firmly turned her face back toward him.  

“Are you asking for a different method, Madame?”  

“…”  

“You need to feel exactly what you did to me, Seilia.”  

Leo’s demeanor, which had been surprisingly lenient until now, quickly shifted. It was no longer a choice but a command.  

“Should I come to your bedroom now, or will you comply quietly?”  

It didn’t seem like an empty threat meant to intimidate her.  

Realizing she would only suffer more if she resisted, Seilia finally admitted defeat.  

“Fine… I’ll do whatever you want. Just get it over with.”  

Satisfied with her answer, Leo finally stepped away, and Seilia muttered loud enough for him to hear,  

“You’re so sly.”  

“I’m the only one who can handle someone like you.”  

It was true. No matter how mischievous Seilia could be, she always ended up cornered when facing Leo.  

Even as Leo grabbed his coat and left the room, Seilia remained pressed against the wall, not daring to move a step.  

Once he was gone, she collapsed to the floor, her legs trembling and her face filled with frustration.  

***

As the evening approached, the time Leo had promised drew near, and the sun began to set in the west.  

In the imperial garden, Seilia and Revelia could be seen walking in circles.  

Summoned urgently by Seilia, Revelia had rushed to the Imperial City but was clearly upset, kicking at the ground with the toe of her shoe.  

“Don’t I have my own life?”  

“I’m sorry. It was really urgent.”  

With only a few hours left before she had to return to the shared bedroom, Seilia was growing increasingly anxious.  

For the fifth lap around the garden, she still hadn’t been able to say what she wanted, instead fiddling nervously with the roses. Finally, unable to watch her any longer, Revelia glanced at her and brought up the real issue.  

“Is this about the wedding night?”  

At those words, Seilia’s expression crumbled.  

Seeing her reaction, Revelia decided to hold back for a moment.  

Seilia, who had been fiddling with the roses, suddenly crushed a handful of them.  

“Revelia.”  

“Speak.”  

“Can men really sleep in the same bed as a woman they have no feelings for?”  

Seilia had asked the question as carefully as she could.  

“Well, I’m not sure, but if there were no feelings involved, they probably wouldn’t bother. It’d just be a hassle.”  

Revelia, unable to provide a definitive answer to such a deep question, gave a vague response.  

Seilia stared at the crushed roses in her hand, lost in thought.  

The man who had lain beside her that day—had he truly felt nothing, not even for a moment?  

She had wanted a specific answer from Revelia, but it didn’t come.  

He was a man who had abandoned her. And yet, she still harbored these feelings for him. For the first time, she felt utterly pathetic.  

At that moment, one person came to mind.  

‘Prince Eselyn.’