4.2

The next morning, having not slept a wink, Vanessa struggled to open her bleary eyes. Julian assumed her discomfort was due to the rough sleeping arrangements.

“Are you very tired? I’ll make sure we can sleep at an inn tonight. Just hang on a bit longer.”

It’s all because of you. You got me all worked up and then left me alone. It was ungentlemanly of you. 

Vanessa glared without responding. Julian, clueless, thought she was grumpy from lack of sleep and scratched his head.

As she watched Julian’s broad back ahead of her, she fell into thought.

Why hasn’t he sold that black warhorse? Is it because he still misses that woman? Or does he ride it without any particular meaning?

Had Julian forgiven the woman who had destroyed him? Or did he still harbor hatred for her? 

Since the story came from Earl Hendrick, Vanessa couldn’t know how Julian felt about the pagan woman he once loved.

Vanessa stopped thinking about the deceased woman. She felt considerable sympathy for the woman’s tragic end, despite never having seen her face.

In any case, last night’s events confirmed that Julian still wanted her. That gave her a slight sense of relief, but she wondered whether he wanted only her body or something more. Yet Vanessa couldn’t bring herself to reveal her true feelings to Julian.

Until they reached their next destination, a heavy silence hung between them.

Fortunately, they arrived at the inn before sunset. The inn, located just beyond the boundary of Earl Arenshen’s domain, was a sizable, old stone building. It served as a stopover for merchants from various places heading to the distant coastal city where a weekly market was held.

A wagon loaded with wool, which had arrived before Vanessa and Julian, wobbled to a stop in front of the barn. The wool merchant was haggling with the innkeeper over storage fees, causing a delay.

“Why don’t you go inside and order some food while I tie up the horses?”

“Alright.”

After handing the reins to Julian, Vanessa entered the building. She was overwhelmed by the mix of food aromas, the stale smell of sweat, and the clamor of noise. The long tables lined up in the spacious hall were packed with merchants and travelers.

She squeezed through the throng of people and found a vacant spot in a corner. No sooner had she settled her weary body than some rough-looking men approached. They tried to join her without permission. Vanessa looked at the burly men surrounding her with a stern face. They spoke to her with a swagger.

“Well, why are you traveling alone, Madam? Such a lovely lady without an escort.”

“Where are you headed? This area is crawling with bandits, but we can escort you for a fair price.”

They looked like bandits themselves, so who were they to offer protection? Their grinning faces showed no trace of honesty. Were they planning to rob me in a secluded place?

“I don’t need it, so don’t bother me.”

Though she showed her displeasure, it didn’t deter them. The man sitting next to her leaned in with a creepy smile.

“Oh, don’t refuse. We met by fate, so we should help each other. By the way, Madam, your hands are as beautiful as your face.”

“How rude!”

Vanessa slapped the man’s hand away and stood up abruptly.

“Whoa, why the loud voice all of a sudden? People might think I did something bad.”

As the man grabbed her arm and tried to force her back into her seat, Julian seized the man’s collar.

“Wha—?”

The man, lifted like a child, was slammed headfirst into a building pillar by Julian.

Crash.

He sprawled on the stone floor, bleeding from the nose with a pained expression.

“You bastard!”

Seeing their comrade attacked, the man closest to Julian drew a dagger. Before the dagger could swing through the air, Julian subdued him.

A heavy fist sliced through the air. The man’s jaw took the punch directly, and he passed out without even a scream. In just a few seconds, Julian had incapacitated two men and now looked at the remaining one with a bored and irritated expression. The last man, trembling with fear and anger, didn’t dare to attack.

“You there, are you planning to stay here?”

“N-no! I’ll leave right away!”

“Good thinking. This time, I’ll let it go for the lady’s honor, but if we meet again, know that it will be your funeral. I never forget the faces of those who make me angry.”

At Julian’s ominous threat, the man hurriedly supported his companions and fled the inn. Other patrons, who had been watching the situation, whistled and applauded Julian. Vanessa calmed her startled heart as she listened to the cheers.

“Thank you for driving away those damn ruffians! They were making things quite uncomfortable for our guests. You’re amazing.”

A young attendant praised Julian enthusiastically. Julian responded with a nonchalant nod and then carefully examined Vanessa’s hand, which had been grabbed. Fortunately, there wasn’t a single mark on Vanessa’s white skin.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

Vanessa silently looked down at her hand, which Julian was holding. His hand, which was like a weapon to others, was cradling Vanessa’s hand as if it were fragile porcelain. Vanessa found the contrast somewhat amusing.

“I’m fine. Thank you for helping me.”

Julian was momentarily dazed by the slight smile on Vanessa’s face.

This person always gets hurt because of me.

She gently touched Julian’s knuckles, which were slightly swollen and red from dealing with the unwelcome guests. Julian felt the blood rush to his face and lower body at Vanessa’s soft touch.

“Julian, are you hurt?”

“D-don’t worry about it. This is nothing. And you don’t have to thank me for every little thing. Who else would guard you if not me?”

Julian stammered, flustered. Suddenly, Vanessa recalled Earl Hendrick’s advice. He had said that if she just smiled at him once, he would act as if nothing had happened.

Vanessa mustered the courage to meet Julian’s eyes. For some reason, she felt nervous. Perhaps because she had spent so long without showing any expression, her lips felt stiff and wouldn’t move easily. Julian gazed into Vanessa’s captivating eyes, as if entranced.

Their eye contact seemed like a scene from a play, as if it would never end. However, the young attendant, who had the duty to take their meal orders, shamelessly interrupted them.

“Oh, right, what would you like for your meal? We have onion soup and lentil soup, and if you order a dish, multigrain bread is included, but for an extra charge, we can bake white wheat bread fresh in the oven. Oh, and we have butter and cheese made from the milk of cows we raise ourselves….”

The young attendant’s endless explanation was dizzying. Julian, without taking his eyes off Vanessa’s face, answered curtly.

“Anything will do.”

“Yes, anything will do. An excellent choice. I’ll have it ready shortly!”

The young attendant dashed through the crowd toward the kitchen. Vanessa gave up trying to force a smile that wouldn’t come and awkwardly released Julian’s hand.

Silence hung between them as they sat across from each other at the empty table. Julian mulled over what had just happened, trying to calm his anger.

He had only stepped away for a moment, and flies had gathered. Who dared to covet what was his? He should have taught them a lesson; maybe he had been too lenient. From now on, he mustn’t leave Vanessa alone.

He had thought that distance would make the heart grow distant, but seeing Vanessa again only intensified his torment. His throat was parched with unquenched thirst. This was a feeling he had never experienced before. Being with Vanessa made his heart swell and ache. 

Was this what love felt like? 

It was unbearably sad to be near her yet not be able to connect.

Someone who seemed beautiful and precious to him would appear the same to others. He suddenly worried whether anyone had approached Vanessa while he was away from the castle.

“How have you been at the Earl’s castle? Nothing happened?”

Vanessa, instead of expressing her true feelings of loneliness without him, spoke with a veneer of politeness.

“Thanks to Earl Hendrick’s care, I’ve been comfortable. I thought he would be a difficult person, but after talking to him, I found he has a thoughtful side. He’s a man of great character.”

Hearing Vanessa praise another man made Julian’s mood plummet. It was clear he would never receive such praise as being thoughtful or of great character, no matter what.

Earl Hendrick was a man without warmth, yet Vanessa viewed him favorably. Julian couldn’t understand why. 

Had something happened between Vanessa and Hendrick while I was away?