Chapter 2. She Wants to But Cannot (1)

Through the distant office window, the profile of Duke Elmano was visible.

His straight forehead, the high bridge of his nose forming a straight line, his sharply carved jawline, his dark eyes slightly lowered as he looked at documents, his firmly closed lips, and his long, straight fingers holding a pen.

Today, too, he was excessively handsome. So handsome that it made her sigh involuntarily. So handsome that her heart raced wildly even when she secretly glimpsed his profile from afar.

But Lariella’s admiring eyes soon narrowed with disappointment.

What good is being so handsome? When he won’t even embrace me once.

It had already been a full month since the wedding. That meant it had been a month since the duke came to her every night in his nightclothes, did nothing—precisely speaking, gave her a stingy brief kiss and threw out a dry greeting—and then slept soundly before returning at dawn.

Over the past month, Lariella had eaten very small dinners every day, taken long baths afterward, and then meticulously groomed her skin and hair.

The alistro flower petals, which had been just a handful when preparing for the first wedding night, now completely covered the surface of the bathtub. She tried various expensive perfumes imported from distant lands across the sea, and wore nightgowns that made the one from the first night look modest in comparison, but the duke’s behavior remained unchanged.

It seemed that to the duke, she was no different from a pillow or blanket on the bed. Something that naturally belonged on the bed, but not something that needed to be noticed or held with affection.

By this point, even the servants’ attitudes toward Lariella were not the same as before. Everyone had realized that she was a duchess in name only, never touched by the duke.

The day after the wedding night, the maids who came to clean the room looked at the bedding—clean as new without any trace of lovemaking—with confusion and watched Lariella’s reactions. But when the same situation repeated every day, they began to glance at her with annoyed looks.

Even the servants who rarely showed expressions on their faces couldn’t hide their awkwardness when they saw Lariella. She could clearly read their discomfort about how to treat a half-duchess who hadn’t consummated her marriage.

The head maid, who took great pride in working for the Elmano household and had been displeased about serving a country-born lady like Lariella, didn’t hide her smirking smile in front of her. Mrs. Deshiri, the strict etiquette teacher, raised her voice saying that Lariella’s lack of refinement was entirely to blame for her husband’s lack of affection and attention.

The only one who remained on her side was Marie, who always served her with consistent dedication.

Given the situation, Lariella felt uncomfortable wherever she was, and nothing brought her joy. Even the books she loved so much didn’t capture her attention, and tending to flowers wasn’t as exciting as before.

“Sigh……”

Lariella let out a long sigh and slumped down in a corner of the garden.

This marriage had been strange from the beginning.

The Elmano ducal family and the Polar baronial family. There was no connection between the two houses. The distance between their territories was great, and the gap in their lineage and status was even greater.

Nor did Lariella possess any exceptional talents. She might have a bright personality and lovely appearance, but she knew nothing of the capital’s etiquette and was completely ignorant about high society.

She hadn’t even directly greeted Duke Elmano. She had only seen him from a distance at a ball she happened to attend, surrounded by crowds of people.

Then suddenly one day, a marriage proposal arrived. And with it, a large ash wood box filled with gold coins.

When they checked the contents of the wooden box carried by four sturdy knights, everyone in the Polar household was shocked nearly to fainting. Even if they had prepared this much as a dowry, they wouldn’t dare hope for a marriage with the noble Elmano ducal family, yet the duke had sent this much gold with his proposal.

It was a puzzling matter no matter how they thought about it, but they couldn’t reject the proposal just because it was puzzling. If they refused the proposal from a high nobleman who had even sent gold coins and instead chose a groom matching the modest dowry the Polar family could prepare, both families would become laughingstocks for generations to come.

In the end, the Polar household had to accept the proposal without knowing the reason behind it and send a reply letter.

Having received such an unexpected proposal was strange enough, but going more than a month after the wedding day without consummating the marriage naturally caused her doubts and anxieties to rise like well-kneaded bread dough.

Lariella tried to imagine the worst possible scenarios.

Did Duke Elmano have a mistress hidden somewhere?

But that wouldn’t explain why the duke faithfully came to her room every night.

Perhaps he wanted to raise a child born to a woman of unrevealable status as her child?

If that were the case, it would make more sense for him to force himself on her rather than leaving her as pure as her white nightgown.

She didn’t know. Lariella simply couldn’t understand what the duke was thinking behind that expressionless, cold face.

“I’m already upset enough, and now you’re like this too.”

Lariella looked at the latia leaf riddled with holes made by caterpillars, her face full of distress.

Latia was a flower commonly grown in the Polar territory. Its crimson blooms were beautiful and its fragrance subtle and pleasant, but there was another reason why the people of Polar cultivated latia so much.

In Polar, when someone fell in love, they would engrave that person’s name on latia seeds and plant them in the ground. They would then carefully nurture them until sprouts emerged, stems grew, and flower buds formed. When the flowers bloomed, they would gather an armful of those flowers and confess their love or propose. This was because they believed that the blessing of latia would lead to complete love.

In fact, her father had proposed to her mother while offering a bouquet of lushly bloomed latia flowers, and her brother Ronais also carried an armful of carefully grown latia flowers when he first confessed his love to Murina.

So when Lariella moved to Elmano Castle early to prepare for the marriage, she planted latia seeds engraved with Duke Elmano’s name in a corner of the garden.

Although she had received an unexplained proposal and was getting married before sharing hearts, she hoped that someday they would become a true couple exchanging complete love.

After planting the seeds, she regularly went to the garden to water them and pull weeds, nurturing the latia with care.

Mrs. Deshiri complained that she should spend that time learning more about social etiquette, but this was something Lariella couldn’t compromise on. This time of preciously cultivating her feelings for Duke Elmano along with the latia.

But her latia still hadn’t formed flower buds despite being well past the flowering season. Just like herself, who still hadn’t consummated her marriage long after the wedding.

“Maybe I should just pull it out.”

Looking at the latia with its abundant stems and leaves but no flower buds, feelings of frustration and resentment welled up inside her.

Lariella picked up the hoe lying next to her. But no matter how angry she felt, she couldn’t bring herself to pull up the latia she had carefully tended for months. Just as she couldn’t suddenly cut off her feelings for Duke Elmano that she had gradually nurtured, despite not consummating the marriage.

Letting out a deep sigh, Lariella began removing the weeds around it, careful not to damage even a single leaf.

“Right. Compared to the Polar territory, this place has high castle walls and many buildings that block the sunlight. So it must take longer for flowers to bloom here too.”

Making up excuses, Lariella cleaned up the weeds thoroughly and threw away the caterpillars eating the leaves far into the distance.

“What’s the point of having fancy buildings? Without enough sunlight, flowers don’t bloom, and people become cold and unfriendly.”

Muttering to herself where no one could hear, she next filled a watering can and thoroughly soaked the roots.

She felt that her failure to consummate the marriage was entirely her fault for not being satisfactory to the duke. Because of this, Lariella hadn’t been able to eat freely, talk freely, or rest comfortably. But after coming to the garden after a long time and grumbling while moving her body vigorously, the stifling feeling that had risen to her throat seemed to subside a little.

Lariella gently stroked the latia stem covered with droplets of water.

“But the stem has grown strong and healthy. And so many leaves have sprouted.”

So there was still hope.

Hope that someday flower buds would form on her latia. And hope that someday she would live as a real couple with Duke Elmano.

It had already been a month, but it was also only a month.

“If I don’t give up, everything will eventually bloom fully.”

She was called the ‘Sunshine of Polar’ not only for her golden shining hair and sparkling smile but also for her bright and positive personality.

Yah-ap! Lariella stretched her arms and let out a short energetic shout. Then, after stealing one more glance at Duke Elmano’s profile in the distance, she left the garden with confident steps.

* * *

“Building friendships and maintaining social connections with noble ladies is one of the important duties of a duchess. Yet you haven’t hosted even a single tea party despite being married for over a month. How will this reflect on Duke Elmano’s reputation?”

What’s waiting for Lariella when she returned from the garden was Mrs. Deshiri’s storm of nagging.

“Do you intend to make the duke a laughingstock in society? You already have so many shortcomings; you shouldn’t do anything that would give society reason to criticize you.”