Chapter 3. She Wants to But Cannot (2)

She couldn’t remember how she ended the tea party or how she saw the guests off.

After the noble ladies whose names she deliberately tried to forget had all left, Lariella skipped dinner and shut herself in her room.

From all the vulgar stories those women had spilled, she gathered that men, regardless of size, skill, whether their t*sticles were intact or not, whether their poles were hard or soft, would invariably try to sleep with women as long as “it” was attached.

But Duke Elmano, despite sharing a bed with her for over a month, had never shown any expression of s*xual desire.

How else could such a situation be explained except that he was a “eunuch”? She had realized something so obvious far too late.

Having belatedly discovered the truth, Lariella literally lost all motivation. There was no hope or anything left. Because Kais Elmano, the duke, was a “eunuch.” How could one probe a keyhole with a key whose shaft had broken off, leaving only the handle?

It had seemed strange from the beginning.

She had wondered why he sent a proposal to her, someone with whom he had no connection, but Duke Elmano had deliberately chosen a small family ignorant of society news and far from the capital. That way, even if he never consummated the marriage, there would be no complications.

That’s why her latia had leaves growing abundantly like weeds but no flower buds. How could flowers properly form when the person whose name was engraved on the seeds was missing what should have been attached to him?

All the previously incomprehensible matters were now falling perfectly into place.

“Who said I wanted to be a duchess? At least I shouldn’t have become a eunuch’s wife.”

Lariella muttered complaints to herself.

Before marriage, what she had longed for wasn’t a glamorous social life or a luxurious wedding with a wealthy nobleman. She had simply wanted a marriage like her father and mother’s, or like her brother Ronais and Murina’s—where they were each other’s only love.

Yet now she had to spend the rest of her life looking at her husband’s back without even consummating the marriage, let alone experiencing love.

Feeling utterly dejected, Lariella was mentally drawing two round eggs, bursting one, then the other, then drawing a wooden pole and breaking it into pieces from the top down, when there was a knock and Marie entered the room.

“Madam, it’s time for your bath.”

Behind Marie came maids carrying a large bathtub, followed by others holding containers of warm bathwater.

Lariella carefully examined the faces of the maids she had never paid much attention to before.

Which one of them had been spreading stories about what happened in this bedroom?

But it was a meaningless exercise. What was the point of figuring that out now? It wouldn’t change the fact that the duke was a “eunuch.”

“Marie, please don’t put anything in the bathwater.”

Lariella, who had been slumped on the long chair, rose sluggishly and stopped Marie who was bringing a round container filled with alistro flower petals.

“And for the nightgown, bring me a plain ordinary one instead of that one.”

She also sent away the maid who was carrying a new nightgown with elaborate lace.

“I don’t need perfumed oils or scented candles either. From tomorrow, I’ll eat normally too.”

It had all been futile.

No matter how many alistro flower petals she sprinkled in her bathwater, how many bottles of perfumed oil she poured on her body, or how she lay uncovered in a nightgown more revealing than being n*ked, she now understood Duke Elmano’s perpetually cold, stiff expression.

Yes. He’s a “eunuch” missing “it” that men should rightfully have. Her efforts must have only made him uncomfortable.

“Madam, are you very tired? But you should always be prepared since you never know when you’ll consummate the marriage……”

“No. That’s enough. Just do as I say.”

Marie was both surprised and saddened to see Lariella firmly refuse for the first time, when she had always obediently followed Marie’s guidance despite her discomfort.

Well, it’s about time she got tired.

Unaware of what had been discussed at the tea party, Marie simply understood that Lariella was exhausted from the long wait.

Thinking it better to let her rest comfortably for at least today, Marie removed the alistro container and perfumed oils and prepared a simple bath with just warm water.

Lariella took a plain, short bath for the first time in a long while and put on a plain, comfortable nightgown. She loosely braided her untreated hair herself and draped it over her left shoulder.

Just yesterday, she had spent all day anxious because she didn’t know why the duke wouldn’t sleep with her, but now she didn’t need to worry. She didn’t need to stay awake late into the night waiting for his uncertain arrival.

Hmph, let him come or not. He can’t do it anyway since he’s a “eunuch.”

With no hope or anything left, all that remained was the fatigue accumulated from preparing for the tea party over the past few days.

As soon as the maids withdrew, Lariella didn’t wait for the duke but promptly climbed onto the bed. She grabbed one corner of the blanket and rolled herself up completely by turning her body.

Lariella, who hadn’t had a comfortable day since her marriage, quickly and deeply fell asleep wrapped in a fluffy nightgown and warm blanket.

“……Hmm.”

What woke Lariella from her deep sleep was an unfamiliar groan.

What’s that sound?

Abruptly pulled from sleep, Lariella blinked her eyes several times, unable to open them properly. But the room was just silent, with no sound to be heard.

Did I hear wrong?

When Lariella closed her tired eyelids and tried to go back to sleep, a suspicious groan came again through the silence.

“Haah……”

Lariella gently lowered the blanket she had wrapped around herself up to her head and half-raised her upper body.

Pale dawn light was seeping through the cracks of the closed wooden shutters. The room wasn’t bright enough, but it was sufficient to distinguish objects.

Lariella rubbed her sleepy eyes with the back of her hand and looked around in the thinning darkness.

Duke Elmano had come at some unknown time and was asleep with her on the bed that had previously held only her. Since Lariella was wrapped in the blanket, he had nothing covering him, and his back, which was turned to her as always, suddenly looked even larger.

While she was looking at his back, now more familiar than his face, with a bitter feeling, the large back in front of her twitched and another strange groan was heard.

“Ugh…… mmm.”

Is he in pain?

Concerned about the duke who kept groaning, Lariella gently touched his shoulder.

Though she merely touched him lightly, his broad back collapsed and the duke immediately rolled over flat on his back, facing the ceiling.

A strong scent of dark wine wafted from him. The strange sounds he kept making seemed to be due to intoxication rather than pain.

Looking quietly at the sleeping duke’s face, Lariella unconsciously clicked her tongue lightly.

How can he still be so handsome?

The first time she saw his face up close was when she moved to Elmano Castle to prepare for marriage after receiving his proposal.

Lariella could recall that moment as vividly as if it had just happened.

His large hand escorting her as she got out of the carriage, his strong arm catching her when she nearly fell because her legs were weak from the long carriage journey, his ice-lake gray-blue eyes looking down at her from barely a span away, his hair as black as the dark night sky, the pressure he exuded, and even the sensation of his cold lips firmly pressed against the back of her hand.

Although it was a strange proposal received without properly exchanging greetings, Lariella was instantly captivated by the man who would become her husband.

When had the heart she had given him little by little grown this large?

She should hate him endlessly for hiding that he was a eunuch and sending her a proposal, for disgracing the entire Polar family, for staining her married life with complete despair—but the problem was that her feelings of affection were still greater than her hatred.

Lariella let out a small sigh and unwrapped the blanket she had rolled around herself. Her one-piece nightgown had ridden up, exposing her thick thighs to the cool dawn air.

Even a “eunuch” could catch a cold.

Pouting her lower lip, she was about to cover his thighs—which looked at least twice as thick as hers—with the blanket when her eyes were caught by one part of his nightgown that had unnaturally risen up along his body.

It looked like he had tucked a scabbard or a long club between his legs and covered it with his nightgown.

Is it for self-defense? But it must be uncomfortable to sleep with something like that between his legs.

Lariella intended to move whatever it was—scabbard or club—to the side. So she carefully grasped the top of the protruding nightgown, but……

She suddenly jumped in surprise and threw away what she had been holding.

It, it m……. moved!

Her eyes, already widened in shock, grew even larger at what happened next.

“Hmm, ugh……”

The duke, who had been sprawled motionless, began to pull up his own nightgown with a loud groan.

The nightgown that had been up to his thighs was quickly pulled up to his waist with a few gestures of his hand. Then the elongated form that had been hidden by the nightgown sprang out with a heavy arc.

What is…… that?

Terribly startled, Lariella covered her mouth with both hands and barely swallowed the scream that nearly burst out.

The duke stroked what had sprung out as if petting a puppy’s head, then gently wrapped his large hand around its lower part.

His groin covered with hair as black as his head, his large hand placed on it, and the long, thick pole that protruded above his fist, too large to be fully wrapped even by such a large hand.