As if there was no need to respect a daughter who was no longer the Empress, his words were followed by harsh curses. Nian raised her head and glared at such a father.

“Get out now. I don’t need a child like you.”

“It’s not that you don’t need a child like me, but that you don’t need a child who isn’t the Empress, right?”

“What?”

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan to stay long either. Instead, you should pack your bags too. The army will soon storm in and drive you out anyway.”

At Nian’s words, Duke Roben finally couldn’t contain his anger and raised his hand.

Slap. His large hand struck Nian’s cheek, and her head turned mercilessly. Nian tasted the metallic blood in her mouth and smiled bitterly.

“After all I’ve poured into making you empress. You ungrateful thing.”

“Ha, how disgusting. Don’t act as if you lost something for my sake. It wasn’t you who lost something to make me Empress—it was His Majesty and Rachel.”

“……”

“I had hoped you would repent even now, but I guess that was too much to ask.”

“Ha!”

“I hope you live like that for the rest of your life. So, hold onto what you have tightly until the day you die.”

“……”

“Though I wonder if you’ll be able to keep it by holding on.”

Nian turned away. Her cheek throbbed, but it didn’t matter. Half the blood flowing in her body was his. That was disgustingly hateful.

She left her family home immediately.

She didn’t even say goodbye to her father, whom she would never see again, but neither of them regretted such a parting.

On a pitch-black night where even the desolate moon hid behind clouds.

Having left her family home right away, Nian was heading to the port by carriage. Inside the carriage, Nian stared blankly at her small luggage bag. Though she had prepared for this, the years felt so empty and futile, causing her unbearable grief.

Fortunately, the well-orchestrated play had proceeded exactly according to the script without a single error. The protagonist, performing on a lonely stage without even an audience, just cried endlessly.

The play soon reached its climax, and the protagonist completely burned down her herb garden, that precious cottage, with her own hands and finally exited.

Having exited like that, though she was leaving with the dishonor of being a disgraced former empress who had committed adultery, thinking of him who remained, it was rather fortunate.

When he hears the news, he will be extremely angry given his temperament.

And that anger will cover any small regrets that might remain, erasing them without a trace, and time, which is always a remedy, will eventually heal the anger and take away the regrets too.

And she…… planned to go to the Kingdom of Samurin. She heard that Cain’s old house still remained there, so she intended to stay there.

Thus, she must never return to this place.

She must leave this place forever where her beloved would remain.

Nian…… decided so.

The carriage, which had been running for a long time, finally stopped upon reaching the port.

Thinking that the ship would depart tomorrow morning, so she would need to stay here tonight, Nian looked around for a place to stay. Her gaze fell on an inn building near the port, and she bit her lip tightly.

It was where she had gone with Dade.

Nian hesitated a little before heading there. Though it would be futile, she hoped that his scent, which had tormented her so terribly that night, might still linger there.

The room was still old but clean. Unfortunately, it was a different room from back then, but the interior was similar.

Entering the room, she saw her past self, pale and frightened. He had dragged her in and entered the bathroom without hesitation, then came out and said a few words to her. Then her surprised self ran into the bathroom.

Nian smiled bitterly. She walked a few steps and sat on the bed.

On the bed, she is whimpering beneath him. He pressed down on her with his fragrant, firm body.

At that image, Nian buried her head on the empty bed.

Looking back, every memory with him was precious.

Even this day, which had been frightening at the time, was corrected under the name of memories, recalling not the image of him forcefully exploring her but the image of him backing away when she cried.

‘Ah, I hate you. Now I will remember you everywhere I go for the rest of my life.’

There was nothing that wasn’t related to him. Herbs, lakes, slips, common blonde hair, the sky resembling his eyes. Even the morning sunlight that rises every day.

Though she tried not to cry, this time she couldn’t hold back.

Nian sobbed quietly. It was incredibly sad that those once beautiful things had now become mere memories. Every moment with him was regrettable and heartbreaking.

‘Why do only the beautiful memories come to mind? Surely, there were more days of disappointment and resentment. Why do only these brilliant memories come to mind and make me cry?’

Nian sobbed.

Knock knock. Suddenly, there was a knocking sound. Surprised by the unexpected presence, Nian raised her head to look toward the door, and when it knocked again, she hiccupped slightly, startled.

‘Are they bringing breakfast early?’

After roughly wiping away her tears, she opened the door. And there stood Dade.

With an expression that seemed angry, happy, and sad all at once.

“Your Majesty.”

Unable to endure the long silence, Nian spoke first, but he immediately cut her off.

“We’ll talk about this at the palace. Follow me.”

As Dade grabbed her wrist and pulled, Nian resisted by putting her weight down and then shook him off harshly.

“Go back, Your Majesty.”

Nian said with a cold face.

“Don’t test my patience any further.”

Dade gritted his teeth, trying to suppress his anger as he answered. When he came here, he had decided to drag her back, tied up if necessary, but seeing her tear-soaked eyes, his heart immediately softened.

“Why are you so angry? Everything has found its rightful place, so shouldn’t you be happy instead?”

“I decide the places. Not you and that guy.”

“Then all the more reason, the position of empress should belong to someone you love, shouldn’t it? Not me.”

“Love?”

Dade repeated her words with a sharp tone.

Yes, they both knew well how painful a loveless marriage could be. He knew this too, which is why he had come looking for her despite the painful sense of betrayal.

Nian spoke coldly.

“If it’s out of a sense of responsibility, you don’t need to do this.”

“What?”

“I’m not foolish enough to mistake your sleeping with me for having your heart. I knew and wanted it myself, so you don’t need to force yourself.”

Yes. She knew. Despite the sweet kisses. Despite the breathtaking climaxes they shared. Sometimes she forgot, but she knew very well that he didn’t love her. Very well.

“Shut up.”

Dade was furious at Nian’s words.

‘What? Responsibility? What does she take me for?’

Is she saying I slept with her without any emotion, like a beast in heat?

‘Ha! There’s a limit to being obtuse.’

Love was something that even someone as blunt as him couldn’t hide even if he tried. Like an awl in a pocket, it kept poking out, bewildering him.

But saying she wasn’t foolish enough to mistake it for having his heart, it seemed the obtuse woman didn’t know what kind of fool she was.

Unless—Dade’s gaze suddenly sharpened.

‘She never trusted me for even a moment.’

Thinking this, the anger that had been boiling like lava instantly cooled. He laughed coldly.

“You don’t seem to know what it’s like to mix bodies without love.”

“……”

“I’ll personally teach you what that’s like.”

He approached Nian with a hardened expression. She flinched momentarily and shrank back, but he didn’t care. He reached out without hesitation and roughly pushed her toward the bed. He pressed down on her upper body as she tried to escape and looked down at her black eyes filled with fear.

“W-what are you doing!”

“Why? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Y-Your Majesty.”

He gripped both her wrists with one hand. Then, with a dangerously provocative motion, he pulled and loosened his necktie. As he tied her wrists to the bed headboard, he murmured in a low voice.

“I’ll teach you properly who you belong to, so remember it clearly. If you forget again and try something like this, I’ll take you on a bed sprayed with that man’s blood.”

Nian trembled in fear. Her already bound hands wouldn’t come free no matter how hard she pulled.

“I don’t care if you hate me.”

“Sob……”

“Even more so if you love him.”

“Your Majesty, please.”

“So, even if you die like this, you must stay by my side. Ilena.”

He whispered coldly into Nian’s ear as she continued to cry.

It was a cruelly cold night. Nian cried so much in Dade’s arms. He never forgave her and took her repeatedly throughout the night. Due to his rough advances, she finally fell asleep exhausted from crying, and only then did he release her.

Dade looked at the sleeping Nian. Her entire body was already covered with red marks from their repeated lovemaking, and her lovely cheeks bore clear tear stains.

‘Damn it.’

He bit his lip tightly. He thought his feelings had been conveyed without needing to be put into words. In his unconsciously reaching hands, in his gaze that always rested on her, love flowed so unmistakably that it often made him shy.

‘For someone as indifferent as you, it must have been too much to hope for.’

As he untied her still-bound hands, he saw the red bruises left behind.

‘Ha. What a useless struggle.’

Remembering how Nian had persistently struggled despite knowing it was futile, he sighed deeply.

‘It’s already too late to let you go, Ilena. So, you don’t have to love me. Just stay by my side.’

He kissed her bruised wrists and stroked her hair.

* * *