9.

After the Empress was deposed, Duke Roben was dismissed. Though his title was confiscated and his residence and all territories were returned to the imperial family, fortunately, he kept his life and was exiled to the provinces.

For a founding ducal family, this was unprecedented, but with the Empress deposed for adultery, no noble dared to raise an objection. Thus, this unprecedented incident involving the Empress’s family and the First Noble House was swiftly concluded as if following a script.

Nian thought his treatment was quite merciful for Dade. She knew well that if he had wanted, he could have been much more cruel. She knew this was the last grace he would bestow.

After leaving the palace, Nian was staying at Cain’s residence. Though she had refused again, he had practically begged her to stay, so she had been there for quite some time.

It was truly kind of him.

In fact, without him, she would have had nowhere to go. She was no longer a noble, and certainly no longer the Empress.

The past few weeks felt unreal, like a dream.

Too many things had happened at once, making her feel as if she had lived through eons. Especially for Nian, who was suffering from heartbreak, time passed excruciatingly slowly.

If I had known beforehand that parting would be this painful, would I have made a different choice?

This being her first love and first heartbreak, Nian hadn’t known. Despite somewhat preparing herself, the separation suffocated her at every moment. He was someone who came to mind relentlessly, anywhere and anytime.

Making her cry with longing every night, causing her to feel loss whenever memories of their time together surfaced.

After struggling terribly for a while, Nian had only recently begun to feel a little better.

No, she was trying to feel better. Because now she had a reason to do so.

Nian, who had been arranging flower pots, straightened her back and sat down. Then she gently caressed her stomach.

At first, she thought it was just her nerves being sensitive. That’s why she thought she had lost her appetite. But the continued nausea and increased sleep weren’t things she could ignore.

After the storm had passed and she began to regain stability at Cain’s house, Nian finally realized that she had missed her monthly cycle for quite some time.

She was very worried that she might have realized too late, but fortunately, nothing worse happened. Perhaps it was her imagination, but her stomach seemed slightly swollen. Though it was hardly noticeable.

At first, she considered telling Dade. After all, he was the father of the child.

But she soon shook her head. She couldn’t hold him back again using this precious being. He was finally about to be truly happy. One forced relationship was enough. She already knew too well how such relationships ended.

Rather, she needed to hide it. Though Rachel hadn’t become Empress yet, it was only a matter of time. If they found out that she was carrying the Emperor’s child before his lawful wife, she suddenly remembered what she had promised him.

‘I will live without a trace, like the wind.’

Yes. She needed to live like that before her belly grew larger.

Though she was a bit afraid, she couldn’t hesitate any longer. Staying here any longer wouldn’t be good for Brother Cain either. Nian decided she should leave soon. For the Kingdom of Samurin, where she had originally planned to go.

After leaving this country, she must never return to a place beyond his reach.

I must completely forget you, who still come to mind and cause me such pain.

Nian ended up crying again.

‘If only I could see him just once more before then.’

If she could look into those blue eyes, stroke that light blonde hair once more. Ah, if that were possible, could she forget everything?

Could she shake off this longing?

The constant longing that visited her every day never became familiar.

Instead, it came in new forms each day, creating fresh wounds in every intact part of her heart as if it were the first time.

Nian finally lowered her head.

The tears that had been pooling fell and soaked her knees.

* * *

‘Ilena.’

Dade called for Nian. Standing at her workbench, clattering as she prepared herbs, Nian turned at his voice.

Fortunately, she was smiling.

‘You’re here?’

A voice mixed with laughter that tickled just by hearing it.

Finally facing her face that he had longed to see, Dade ran to her without hesitation and embraced her.

Embracing her incredibly soft body with his entire being, he closed his eyes tightly with overwhelming emotion and buried his nose near her neck.

For some reason, the herb scent that usually emanated from her wasn’t there. But it didn’t matter as Dade tightened his arms around her.

Afraid she might disappear like this, afraid of losing her again.

‘Ilena.’

‘Yes, Your Majesty.’

‘Don’t go.’

‘……’

When there was no answer to his desperate plea, Dade grew urgent.

‘Please.’

He embraced her more tightly and urged her, but the cruel woman never answered.

Until he woke up from this sad, recurring dream once again.

Dade opened his eyes.

It was still dark outside the window, as day had not yet broken.

‘Damn it.’

Dade raised his hand to cover his forehead. His deeply submerged unconscious had revealed his innermost feelings that he had carefully wrapped and hidden, and his exposed true heart was unmistakably directed toward her.

Toward Nian, who had left so coldly. After Nian’s departure, he dismissed Duke Roben as was expected. Then he gradually erased Nian’s traces from the imperial palace. As if she had never existed.

Now, the only trace of her in this imperial palace was Dade himself.

The only trace of her was so persistent that it visited Dade every night to torment him.

One day she would visit the herb garden and give him herb tea, and another day she would come to his bedroom and make love with him. Some days she would laugh, and some days she would cry.

After making him suffer all night like that, she would disappear without a trace when morning came.

Finally, Dade got up from his bed. He thought he might take a walk. Sleep had long since fled.

Though he had come out, he had nowhere particular to go in this vast imperial palace. Walking wherever his feet took him, he inevitably arrived at the place where the herb garden had been.

Dade stared with empty eyes at the place that, like his heart, had been burned black with only the ground remaining.

Just once more, he should have embraced her. He should have at least said goodbye. If he had, would he not feel such regret? Would he not long so much for the traces of her that he himself had erased?

You are still such a hateful person.

Dade smiled bitterly.

“So this is where you were.”

Turning toward the voice, he saw Rachel walking toward him. As she approached, she spoke with a somewhat sorrowful tone.

“I was worried when you weren’t in the Main Palace.”

Somehow feeling she knew why he had come here late at night, she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Once again, Rachel decided to pretend not to know.

“I was just taking a walk.”

“It’s too late for that, Your Majesty.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

He smiled, seemingly embarrassed. Rachel paused for a moment before speaking.

“Then, would you like to come to my quarters to sleep?”

Near the herb garden was a separate palace where Rachel was staying. Dade immediately shook his head.

“Next time. I have some documents to review today. I’ll go to the study.”

“I see.”

Rachel answered with an expression that seemed to say “as expected.” Dade was always kind to Rachel.

But that was all. Since their reunion, he had never once taken her to bed. Their relationship was exceedingly warm, with only gentle kisses.

After maintaining silence for a moment, Rachel spoke with a faint smile.

“Your Majesty. I have a request.”

“Yes. Tell me.”

“It seems the land of my family home still remains. Could you perhaps rebuild a mansion there for me?”

“Of course. I’ll make it as large and magnificent as possible.”

“Thank you.”

Rachel approached him, who had granted her request without even asking the reason, and gave him a light kiss.

“Good night. I’ll go ahead.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Rachel watched his retreating figure for a long time before returning to her separate palace.

* * *

“Brother Cain.”

“Yes?”

By now, Cain had begun addressing Nian as Ilena again.

Calling her by that childhood name, rather than as Empress.

“Do you have any plans for today?”

At her cautious question as she visited his study, Cain immediately smiled and shook his head.

In truth, he did have matters to attend to today, but as always, his most urgent priority was Ilena.

“No, why?”

Nian replied with relief.

“Then, would you help me with something?”

“?”

Cain looked at her quizzically, and Nian smiled warmly. Seeing her smile after such a long time, Cain rose from his seat as if enchanted and followed her.