She just thought it was the price she had paid, and having paid that price, she now wanted to remain completely by his side.

But today, Rachel hated her. It seemed she who had everything coveted the one thing Rachel had left. Rachel looked at Nian with eyes mixed with hatred and sorrow.

Nian ran as if being chased. She realized who the woman calling her was when the woman’s gaze turned to hatred.

She couldn’t remember how she escaped the palace, leaving behind those hateful eyes. With a face still wet with tears she hadn’t wiped, she blurted out apologetic words she didn’t even realize she was saying.

She seemed to have knelt, and promised never to return again.

The guilt she had buried deep inside, unable to bear it when she learned the truth, surfaced all at once upon encountering her.

She must have been crazy with longing for Dade. By what right had she invaded Rachel’s territory?

She felt like she might vomit. In the end, she was no different from her father. Blind to her own love, ignoring others’ pain, she had fallen into his arms under the pretext of saying goodbye.

Her determination to return him had been carelessly tossed aside at his sorrowful voice, and she had almost gone back to hold onto him.

Intense self-loathing filled Nian. Finally, unable to bear the nausea, she stopped running and began to retch. Her reflexively bent waist heaved greatly.

Pretending to pay the price, pretending to let him go, pretending to return him to her…… In reality, she had done none of these things, and instead, full of lingering attachment, she had been the one gripping Dade’s ankle.

When she saw him hiding behind a mask, had she truly wished he wouldn’t recognize her?

Had she genuinely hated his hand pulling her to the Main Palace without any hesitation?

Had she really fallen into his arms simply because he cried?

Realizing her contradictory feelings, guilt reached out to strangle her throat, and disgust pierced her thin skin with its claws. Though Dade had moved first, it was her will that had made him move.

That’s what love must be like.

At a glance, it seems utterly selfless, but looking a little deeper, it’s endlessly selfish. A feeling where you might give your life for the other person, yet cannot give up the other person for yourself.

Something so beautiful yet so ugly.

Ugh, ugh. After retching for a while, Nian finally stopped and raised her head. Then she quietly said goodbye to him who would be far away in the Main Palace.

‘Now, this is truly farewell.’

The morning sun finally rose.

The dew that had glistened on the grass blades in the shining sunlight soon dried up and disappeared. As the cruel sunlight that even dried the dew settled, the surface of the dry leaves withered helplessly.

* * *

“Your Majesty.”

Rachel called to Dade, who was standing blankly in front of the Main Palace. Dade, who had been staring straight ahead with a hardened expression, instinctively smiled and turned at her call.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

At his smile, Rachel swallowed her words with a sad look. Fortunately, he didn’t ask about what she couldn’t bring herself to say. She smiled bitterly at his indifference.

All this time, she had dreamed of reuniting with him, but hadn’t dared to hope for it.

Not because she was afraid, but because she had no more price to pay.

For her, love with him had always been something that could only be maintained by losing something. She had nothing left to lose, so she had painfully given up.

But the Empress had paid that price for her and left. They say the Empress’s family was behind it all. Rachel didn’t believe she had done it simply out of guilt.

‘Rather than guilt.’

Rachel looked at the golden-haired man who was only ever kind to her, but insensitive. Somehow, she felt she knew the reason.

Perhaps she had the same reason as herself in the past.

Seven years ago on that day, wandering aimlessly, she had ended up at their place. Perhaps she had been waiting for him there.

She had lived as if dead, without a name. But perhaps she had secretly hoped that Dade would find her even if she lived that way. Had her wish come true?

She had been able to see him there. Unlike her pitiful self, he was so radiant. The look in his eyes as he gazed at the woman beside him was the same as when he had looked at her seven years ago.

Ah…… how radiant a person in love is.

Rachel desperately hoped that time would heal, but she knew all too well that time isn’t always a cure.

“Would you like to go to the lakeside sometime soon?”

Rachel finally spoke the words she had been hesitating to say. Dade, who had accepted anything Rachel said since their reunion, strangely shook his head with an awkward smile.

“Why bother? You were there for seven years. Soon, I’ll take you somewhere else.”

“Yes.”

For Dade, that place had become another painful location. Nian was too deep a color to paint over memories that had already been painted once. Like her hair. Now, what could cover it? As his lips hardened, Rachel skillfully changed the subject.

“By the way, do you know how much of the mansion has been built, Your Majesty?”

“Hmm…… I think it will be completed within a month.”

It had started as soon as Rachel asked for her mansion to be rebuilt.

Despite Rachel’s protests, he purchased all the land surrounding what had once been a small house plot and began constructing a grand, towering structure. Nevertheless, as the Emperor himself oversaw the project and gave direct orders, the work progressed at an astonishing pace.

At his words, Rachel smiled warmly and raised her heels. Dade soon smiled slightly as if he understood and lowered his head, and Rachel lightly kissed him on the cheek.

“Would you like to come to the annex for dinner tonight? I’ll make something delicious.”

“Sure.”

Once again, Dade granted Rachel’s request. She smiled slightly at his kindness.

‘Yes, I don’t mind if it’s not as passionate as before. Because it’s so warm.’

* * *

“Ah, this is quite difficult.”

Nian was organizing the house. The house in the Kingdom of Samurin that Cain had used was located in a small forest rather than a bustling area, true to his personality.

During his studies abroad, disliking the hustle and bustle, he had obtained this house despite the inconvenience of commuting daily.

Though there were a couple of neighboring houses nearby, it was still rather secluded, so Cain couldn’t shake off his anxiety when sending Nian away. But that was precisely why she liked this place more.

Though it had been over a week since she arrived here, the house that had been empty for a long time without its owner still had much to clean. After all, it had been a house where a man lived alone.

Nian moved her hands diligently.

Born a noble all her life, she had never lived alone.

She had only learned about basic necessities from books, and even then, had never done them herself. Remembering how terrible her first dinner was, Nian smiled embarrassedly.

It was uncomfortable. It was troublesome and laborious.

But somehow, Nian felt alive because of it. Though it’s a cliché, she felt reborn. She felt like a newborn baby who had just come out of her mother’s womb and started breathing on her own for the first time.

Once the house was somewhat organized, Nian thought she should start earning a living. Of course, selling just a few of the jewelry she had brought would be enough to live comfortably for over a decade, but she wanted to live uncomfortably, troublesomely, and laboriously. Now, finally.

It wasn’t that she never thought of him, but the formal farewell after removing the mask had somewhat eased her regretful feelings among her many emotions.

She was quite better now. At first, she had soaked her pillowcase with tears every night, and sometimes blankly recalled him. The heartbreak, like a fever she had never experienced before, had made her suffer greatly, but fortunately, it seemed to be gradually passing.

Nian carefully placed her hand on her belly. Now that she had something to protect, she couldn’t keep crying and wailing forever.

She hadn’t told even Cain about the child’s existence. Though she planned to live without a trace like the wind for the rest of her life, this child was, after all, the Emperor’s child.

This child, born from her body as a deposed empress, would threaten the position of Empress before Rachel bore an heir, and after Rachel bore an heir, would threaten the position of Crown Prince.

If anyone were to find out.

Nian bit her lip. Suddenly, Rachel came to mind. Had she felt this way too? Had there been so many things she had to endure because of her love for him?

Had she been this lonely?

Nian smiled bitterly.

* * *