When Dade, whom she had expected to be angry, somehow remained standing there and answered in an infinitely gentle voice, Nian was a little surprised and raised her head, but soon lowered it deeply again.

As if showing he was unarmed, he spread his hands and continued.

“Ilena, it’s alright, so please calm down…. I’m going to walk toward you now. And I’m going to hug you. So, don’t be surprised.”

Dade carefully approached her.

One step, one step. His urgent heart had already raced to reach her, but he didn’t want to startle her. He barely slowed his steps as he approached, finally stopping at the feet of the woman still deeply crouched down.

Bending his waist, he firmly grabbed her trembling body and raised her up. Dade finally faced Nian’s tear-streaked face—the one he had longed for.

A lump in his throat. Without time to stop it, his eyes stung and soon filled with tears. He embraced her with gentle movements so as not to frighten the terrified Nian.

He barely restrained the strength that kept entering his arms as he held her. Caressing her, like he’s worried she might break or fly away again.

Despite his soothing, Nian still trembled with excitement.

“Even if I have to die and be reborn, I will raise this child myself.”

“Yes.”

“Neither I nor this child will go to the imperial palace.”

“Yes.”

“And I don’t want to be entangled with Your Majesty again using the child as an excuse.”

“Yes. If it’s just because of the child, I don’t want that either.”

Dade simply agreed to Nian’s words, patting her back as he held her.

Nian pushed him away slightly and made eye contact. Still looking at him with eyes full of doubt despite his words, she opened her mouth as if she couldn’t believe him.

“Really……?”

“Yes, do as you wish.”

“……”

“I swear on everything I have, Ilena. I won’t do anything you don’t want. So you can trust me.”

Only then did Nian seem somewhat relieved as she sighed.

Ah Ilena. I……. Though his throat was choked and words wouldn’t come easily, Dade trembled slightly and opened his mouth.

“Have you…… been well?”

“Yes.”

His heart broke even more at her words that she had been well. Her small frame still tightly held her swollen belly as if someone might harm it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“……”

It was a foolish question.

“I’m sorry, Ilena. I, I am sorry”

Dade finally shed tears.

“……”

“I’m sorry, Ilena. I was wrong.”

He whispered words of apology while constantly caressing and patting her whom he had embraced. He stroked her back, which was still trembling slightly, and buried his nose in her thick hair, inhaling her familiar scent.

Nian, who seemed quite calmed down, looked at him as he repeatedly apologized and opened her mouth. Her tone was quite composed, having gathered her emotions.

“You don’t need to do that. It was my choice, and Your Majesty just wasn’t part of that choice. Just keep your promise to me. Please.”

“Alright.”

“Why…… are you here?”

“I came because I missed you.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Well, naturally……”

“……”

Yes, there was no need to embellish with other rhetoric; it was such a simple reason.

“I love you, Ilena.”

Though Nian had finally heard the words he never gave her before, she didn’t seem very happy as she tightly closed her eyes and turned away.

She already knew he loved her. Belatedly…… she had come to know.

‘And, the same goes for you too.’

“Go back, Your Majesty.”

“Ilena.”

“It’s already… too late. I prefer it this way.”

He revealed a hurt face before quickly hiding it.

“No, I won’t go.”

“Your Majesty.”

“I won’t go anywhere now.”

“……”

“You don’t have to care about me. I’ll just quietly stay by your side. So please don’t tell me to leave.”

“……”

At his sorrowful plea that somehow seemed like their positions had reversed, Nian once again couldn’t turn him away.

And after that, he actually didn’t return to the imperial palace for several days. It was a level of nonchalance that would make the Empress Dowager, who had taken on all the imperial affairs, tremble with anger if she knew.

Nian deliberately didn’t acknowledge him and acted as if he wasn’t there. She chose to just ignore him because there was no way to send back the stubborn Dade, and she couldn’t live a life swayed by futile love again.

Dade was the same. He didn’t forcibly interfere or try to get her attention. He just silently watched from a distance, and when she needed help, he would quietly appear and assist.

When she tried to move a heavy flowerpot, he approached and carried it for her, and when she stood on tiptoe to get something from a high shelf, he easily took it down for her.

During the day, he lived like a ghost, but at night, he would burrow into the already narrow bed and hold her in his arms as they slept.

While Dade gave in to her wishes on everything else, he wouldn’t yield on this moment, so Nian eventually gave up.

Today too, Dade was sitting in what had become his spot in the corner of the living room, with a book open, but his eyes were actually watching Nian.

Nian’s life was quite monotonous.

She still woke up a little later than him and prepared breakfast, and after eating, she would sit by the window and sip tea for a long time. Sometimes she read books, and other times she fiddled with flowerpots.

Then after doing simple housework, she would eat lunch, and on days with warm sunshine, she would sometimes take a nap.

Occasionally, she would go out for a walk and shopping, then return to prepare dinner. Things he hadn’t seen when he was greedily embracing her up close became visible now that he was watching from a step back.

His lover never skipped breakfast but tended to eat very little, and her eyes, which he thought were just black, had a slight brown tint when sunlight shone on them.

For dessert, she preferred fruit over sweet cookies, especially strawberries. When he saw her munching on fairly large strawberries, he felt like he understood what it meant to feel full just by watching.

When she walked, her stride was narrow, so it took her longer than others, and after washing, she would thinly apply homemade herb oil instead of cosmetics.

Ah, you’re a lovely person both day and night.

Suddenly, Nian felt his gaze and their eyes met. Dade smiled silently, and Nian deliberately pretended not to notice and turned her gaze away.

Today too, Nian finally spoke to Dade, who was holding her like a treasure.

“What did you do with Azel?”

“I sent her back to the imperial palace.”

At his words, Nian unconsciously pouted her lips and grumbled.

“When I told her to go, she was so stubborn……”

Dade smiled slightly.

“Azel knows too. That it’s better for me to be by your side than her.”

“……”

After keeping silent for a while with her eyes closed, Nian finally brought up the name she had been hesitating to mention.

“Rachel……”

Dade paused his patting motion for a moment, then answered in a calm voice.

“I let her go.”

“Why……”

“Because the person I love is not Rachel, but you.”

“……”

“I love you, Ilena.”

After his first confession, Dade confessed to her every night as if a seal had been broken. He didn’t want to experience misunderstandings from not speaking again.

Nian didn’t answer tonight either, but he didn’t seem to mind.

* * *

Nian was deliberately ignoring the persistent gaze watching her. Unlike his usual self, he neither got angry nor threw tantrums, but just remained quietly in that place. Rather, that made her more anxious to the point of going crazy.

So today too, Nian still didn’t answer his “silent wish” and just prepared meals for two.

Because she couldn’t let him starve to death. Nian smiled wryly.

He was the same person as before, suddenly appearing and imposing himself so rudely.

Only the look in his eyes when he gazed at her had become warmer.

All he did all day, as always, was to wake up before her and sit in a corner of the living room looking neat, reading a book. Of course, whether he was reading the book or watching her was unclear.

She also wanted to look at him because she had missed him too, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes, so she regretfully turned her head away.

It was the same with his confessions every night. She couldn’t bring herself to answer, so she just turned away. They loved each other, and they knew each other’s feelings, but what could they do about it?

Now…… it was too late.

Even the time for the foolish act of trying to mend a broken relationship had passed. She had already been hurt too much and cried too much. That’s why she hated him for shaking her now, when she had finally managed to live somewhat decently without him after those harsh times.