Chapter 13

A hollow laugh was all I could manage.

He was acting as if he’d done nothing wrong.

He mouthed an apology, but his face was blank and arrogant.

It would have been better if he hadn’t apologized at all.

This kind of insincere apology did nothing to heal the wound—it only made me feel more wretched.

“Am I supposed to just accept that apology, no matter what?”

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. Are you asking if I have to accept it?”

Edward let out a deep sigh, clearly irritated by my sarcasm.

Seeing that, I felt wounded all over again.

If we were just going to sit here in this miserable silence, I would have preferred his usual coldness.

‘Just say you love Sasha. Just tell me to quietly lock myself away in this mansion and wait for the emperor to lose interest, then divorce you. It’d be easier if you’d just say it outright.’

The longer we spoke, the more obvious the annoyance became in Edward’s eyes as he looked at me.

“Is twisting every word something you learned from House of Scarlett?”

“And is bringing up House of Scarlett every time I speak something you learned, Your Grace?”

“I didn’t come here to play word games.”

“I didn’t start this conversation just to accept your apology, either.”

My gaze locked with Edward’s in the center of the room.

For the first time, I thought maybe I could accept it—Edward and I would never be family.

We would never be the lovers I’d once hoped for. Being together only meant hurting each other.

“Why are you doing this?”

Edward asked, as if he truly didn’t understand.

At some point, even his perfectly styled hair had become a bit disheveled.

‘Is he really saying this because he doesn’t know?’

All the servants in the manor say the same thing: that Sasha suits Edward best, that she’s his true love and the real mistress of Winderton Manor.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Do whatever you like with Lady Kidman. I won’t care.”

I just wanted to give up on everything.

“Madam. I am a nobleman. The Duke of Winderton.”

“I know. The Duke of Winderton.”

“I’m simply telling you that, at the very least, I would never do anything unseemly for a noble. I would never take a mistress or bring a bastard into this house.”

It wasn’t unexpected.

Edward was a noble to his very core, and he would never willingly do anything to tarnish his own honor.

“Then what will you do about Lady Kidman?”

“Why do you keep bringing up Sasha? She has nothing to do with this.”

Was it that unpleasant for him to even hear her name from my lips? Edward snapped irritably.

His reaction hurt me even more than if he’d openly admitted Sasha was his lover.

“I’m going to divorce you. In two years, I’ll submit the papers to the Imperial Court, and not even His Majesty will be able to stop me then.”

Edward laid out his plans for the future.

I wasn’t curious. I didn’t want to hear it.

His future was one that cut me out completely.

“Will you remarry Lady Kidman after you divorce me?”

“It’s not the time to discuss such things. As I said, this has nothing to do with her, so don’t concern yourself. I may not be a good husband, but I won’t act like a libertine, either.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You’re the great and perfect Duke of Winderton, after all.”

I gave him a bitter smile.

He was truly a cruel man.

No matter how much he disliked his wife, how many men would go so far as to tell her the exact date of their divorce?

‘Should I be grateful he’s telling me? Should I thank him?’

Despite coming here claiming he wanted forgiveness, all Edward did was wound me and leave.

A divorce in two years—when that happened, I’d be abandoned by my father and brother.

It would be best to bear a successor before then, but neither I nor Edward had any intention of doing so.

I was filled with despair at the thought of having to keep living this kind of life.

If only I could just die.

Then maybe even that man who never loved me, my father and brother who only ever used me, and even Betty, the only one who ever cherished me—maybe they would all mourn me, just a little.

‘Ha… I keep having these thoughts, even though I could never actually go through with it.’

Lying alone in the bed Edward had left, those thoughts came again.

It felt like I was walking alone through endless darkness. Unable to see ahead, unable to find a way out, I was still walking that path today.

***

A few more days passed after that.

“My lady, the madame from the dress shop has arrived.”

“Show her to the parlor. I’ll come right down.”

Edward’s expanded hotel business had, of course, been a success, and a banquet was soon to be held at Winderton Manor.

I’d planned to wear one of my own dresses, but thanks to a firm order from Lady Eteil, the madame of the manor had been summoned.

‘Lirie, if you’re going to be the mistress of Winderton Manor, you should at least maintain your dignity.’

No one really saw me as the mistress, but—

‘Funny how they only remember that when it’s convenient for them.’

I wanted to argue, but I shut my mouth and obeyed as always.

“Greetings to the Duchess of Winderton.”

“Please, sit down, Madame.”

The Madame, whom I had expected to be a middle-aged woman, turned out to be much younger than I thought.

‘She doesn’t acknowledge me as the duchess either.’

So this was the woman favored by Madame Eteil. She looked at me with arrogant eyes.

“My mother-in-law praised your skills, so I thought I’d give you a try. I hope I’m not disappointed?”

“Of course, Duchess. You can count on me.”

I couldn’t trust anyone recommended by Madame Eteil, but at least she seemed full of pride when it came to her dresses.

“By the way… will you be fitting with His Grace as well?”

It was a natural question, but I found it awkward.

“…I’m not sure, so ask His Grace about that.”

“Ah, I understand.”

The Madame started measuring me, watching my reaction. It wasn’t anything new. I just shrugged my shoulders and sent her away when she was finished.

She would probably go straight to Madame Eteil as soon as she left the drawing room, gossiping about me and Edward.

“I need to get some fresh air, Betty.”

“Yes, My lady.”

It felt even more suffocating being stuck in my room.

I decided to take Betty to the garden for some air.

“I’ve been worried because you seemed listless for a while, but I’m glad you’re out for a walk today!”

“Betty, you really are…”

Every time I saw Betty stubbornly standing by me, even as I was ignored in the House of Winderton, I felt grateful.

‘If Betty keeps staying by my side, she’ll be ignored by everyone in the manor too, won’t she?’

Thinking of how Betty would always suffer because of me, I looked at her with sad eyes.

“Is it true that Lady Sasha will be leaving Winderton Manor soon?”

“She was only a guest from the start.”

As we were walking, we heard voices and both stopped at the same time.

We quietly held our breath and listened. Sasha and some maids were talking.

“Can’t you stay? Please stay with us.”

“We thought Lady Sasha would become our mistress.”

“I can’t help it. It was His Majesty the Emperor’s command. Edward couldn’t refuse either.”

Sasha comforted the tearful maids with gentle words.

I didn’t want to listen any longer.

Seeing Betty watching my reaction, I felt as if a stone had been placed on my heart.

In the end, I took Betty’s hand and left.

I did not know.

How cunning Sasha could become, or what kind of threat jealousy and resentment could pose to me.

***

“It was truly a pleasure, Duchess.”

“I was glad too, thanks to you, Lady Kidman.”

It was the day Sasha left Winderton Manor after finishing her business.

There was regret in the eyes of all the servants, but Sasha said goodbye to each of them, one by one.

Afterward, before boarding her carriage, Sasha approached me.

“I hope we can become even closer the next time we meet, Duchess.”

“As much as you like.”

Sasha whispered so only I could hear.

“Take good care of it.”

“Lady Kidman…”

“Because I’ll be coming to take it back soon.”

It was Sasha’s true self, the side of her that no one else would hear.

At her words, I smiled faintly and added,

“You’d better hurry. People’s hearts are fragile and can change quickly.”

Amused by that, Sasha let out a small laugh.

“Ahaha. Thank you for the warning, Duchess. Thanks to you, I’ll have to come back even sooner.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

There was nothing more to say. Sasha got into her carriage and left Winderton Manor behind.

With Sasha gone, I thought maybe the torment from Madame Eteil would lessen a little.

I also wouldn’t have to see Edward and Lady Kidman always together.

Thinking that brought a sense of relief.