“Congratulations on your engagement, sister.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.“

“May you find happiness.”

“Why would it be otherwise?”

Helia replied with a sweet smile. Xeroth, seemingly pleased, smiled back before turning to Ruben.

“I couldn’t miss celebrating such a joyous occasion, could I? Did you find the ceremony to your liking?“

“I am grateful for your attention, Your Majesty.“

“My sister looked forward to this day tremendously. She made many requests of me.”

Xeroth laughed heartily. Ruben, however, did not find it amusing in the least, and the extravagance of the scene only reinforced that this was Helia’s doing.

The engagement ceremony concluded without incident, and Helia retained her dignified, graceful smile befitting a high noblewoman. Despite the silent hopes of some noblewomen, no miraculous intervention prevented the ceremony, and under polite applause, the two were officially engaged.

—

Once the ceremony concluded, Helia and Ruben proceeded side-by-side toward the Rose Palace, where they would spend the night before traveling together to the ducal residence the next day. Though Ruben would have liked nothing more than to flee the palace immediately, the King’s not-so-subtle suggestion that they spend time together left him with no choice but to comply.

“Would you care for a cup of tea, Your Grace?”

This was the first time since they started walking that she addressed him directly, her gaze never having strayed his way. Suddenly, she looked at him with a friendly smile and asked politely. He could not begin to guess her intention or what she meant by this abrupt shift. Not that it mattered to him in the least.

“Please.”

His response was polite but emotionless. Helia signaled Anna, the head maid who had greeted them, and then led the way to the garden.

In the middle of the well-tended garden stood a tea table. The grass around it had been carefully trimmed, suggesting that it had been set up some time ago.

“Please, take a seat.”

The maids quickly brought tea and refreshments to the table before retreating, leaving the two alone for the first time in a long while.

As Helia lightly wet her lips with the tea, she gazed at the empty garden and quietly asked Ruben:

“So, how does it feel?“

“I’m not sure what you mean.“

“The engagement. How do you feel about it?”

Ruben raised an eyebrow as he drank his tea. Helia’s constant, teasing inquiries into his feelings irritated him, but he remained silent as he had become accustomed to doing. Whether she knew it or not, silence was always the best way he could show consideration for her.

“Once again, you’re silent.”

“….”

“You were never one to lie.”

Ruben wanted to tell her that the version of himself she remembered had long since disappeared. Just as those days would never return, that old self was also gone.

He wished she wouldn’t whisper nostalgically, as if reminiscing about a beautiful childhood. He didn’t know how she remembered those days they spent together, but for him, they held only shame at his own foolishness. Even if he had been happy, that made it worse.

“Back then, you weren’t this quiet,“ she added.

“….”

“It feels like I’m all alone.”

Helia let out a faint laugh.

He was a man who made others feel alone, even when he was by their side. Ruben Effenberg was that kind of man. He always made you wait, only to burn you up with anxiety until there was nothing left but ashes. Even so, one ended up waiting unknowingly, unsure that it was even waiting.

And here she was, clinging to such a man, though she no longer had the energy to laugh at her foolishness.

“Say something. Anything.“

“I have nothing to say.“

“Even that—just say that.”

“….”

Ruben truly couldn’t understand what she wanted from him. Had he ever understood her? Her whispered words, her expressions, her actions—he’d long lost the ability to make sense of any of it.

Trying to understand her would be a wasted effort. Ruben was not one to expend energy on pointless pursuits. With a blunt tone, he spoke.

“If you’ve finished, let’s head inside.“

“I haven’t.”

His gaze lingered on her empty teacup. She didn’t even bother to cover up the blatant lie.

“I’m happy.”

“….”

“Whatever the process, I’ll be happy. I’ve decided to be.”

Helia flashed a radiant smile at Ruben. It was so bright that not a hint of darkness or negativity could be seen in it. Perhaps it was his imagination that something hollow was behind it, Ruben thought.

“If so, I’m glad,“ he replied in a tone that belied no gladness. Whatever his feelings or however things had come to this point, her vow to find joy in possessing him was so characteristic of her that he couldn’t even muster a smile.

“Please take care of me from now on, Your Grace.“

“…I look forward to it.“

“Put some sincerity into it,“ she muttered, scuffing her feet on the grass, which swayed gently under her kicks. Silence fell between them, broken only by the passing spring breeze.

Ruben eventually broke the silence.

“Your Highness.“

“Yes?“

“The wind is chilly.“

“Yes, it is.“

“Shall we go inside?“

“Just a little longer. Stay with me a little longer.”

Perhaps the thought of leaving the palace tomorrow stirred complex emotions in her, as Helia’s voice sounded almost pleading. Ruben stayed silently by her side.

For this moment, it felt like a similar wind to those bygone days.

—

[My child.]

Don’t call me that so kindly.

[Will you indeed stay alone?]

Don’t be gentle with someone who will be left alone.

[That person is a monster.]

And you’ll leave, won’t you?

“Aah!”

Helia awoke with a scream, thrashing violently as she rose from her nightmare. Her rough breaths echoed through the room. She worked to calm herself, taking a deep, long breath that sounded almost like a sigh.

Indeed, one of the maids in the neighboring room should have heard such a noise, but there wasn’t the faintest hint of anyone stirring. It had long become routine for everyone. Helia wiped the cold sweat from her forehead haphazardly.

After sitting blankly for a moment, she got out of bed and cracked open the window. The cold night air entered, cooling the dark, stifling atmosphere of the room. Leaving the window open, she returned to her bed.

‘Once I leave this place, at least I won’t have these nightmares anymore.’

That thought alone was comforting. She desperately wanted to escape these blood-stained nightmares that plagued her nightly. To sleep peacefully without dreams—this had been Helia’s long-standing wish.

She already knew the source of her nightmares. As long as she remained in this palace, the nightmares would forever follow her.

“You don’t understand.”

‘Why I’m so desperate to leave this place. How horrific it is for me here.’

He would never understand. That was something she had hoped for.

And yet, sometimes, she wanted to thrust these nightmares upon him, to force him to recognize her wounds. She wanted him to wander with her through this endless nightmare. How horrid that made her feel, especially knowing that even he, who had once been so kind, had grown weary of her.

Helia buried her face in her knees. She stayed that way, sleepless, until dawn broke.

Light began to seep through the window. It was a new morning—a time she had looked forward to so much, yet the brightness was blinding, and she couldn’t bring herself to lift her head. Even after the dawn light filled the room and a maid knocked at the door, Helia continued to curl up, face buried, rejecting the sunlight.

With everything already packed, her final preparations were simple. Helia completed them by clasping a sapphire necklace around her neck, ready to leave the palace.

Early that morning, Rose Palace members lined up to see her off. Only one maid accompanied her. Even Anna, the head maid who had served Helia her whole life, stood in the front of the line to bid her farewell but did not join her.

“Only one maid will be coming with you?”