Chapter 14

She, too, flinched every time she saw Karel. Selma had warned her sternly to stay away from him.

But Karel’s reaction was entirely different from hers. His expression, every time he looked at her, was closer to displeasure—like he was seeing something that shouldn’t exist. When the man’s face hardened, his brows furrowed, his gaze sharpened, and his eyebrows stiffened… she felt like crying.

Why?

What had I done to deserve such a look?

Admittedly, she had been insistent. That could have been rude. To the noble lords of the royal capital, she might have seemed vulgar.

‘…But how could I have known?’

Still…

‘You were the one who asked for this. You were the one who seduced me.’

In the end, it was he who accepted.

It was he who kissed her first.

It was he who explored her skin without hesitation, unable to control his excitement, and ultimately embraced her.

And it was he who, even after she had fainted, took her again and again until dawn.

‘Then why…?’

The more she thought about him, the more time she spent dwelling on him… the larger the presence of that noble knight became in her heart.

Naturally, memories of that night kept resurfacing. Over time, the reckless indulgence she had tried to dismiss as a one-night dream began to stir desires—desires to relive that night, if only one more time.

‘…What does it matter? A man as noble as Sir Knight wouldn’t boast about being with someone like me, would he? No one found out that night, either.’

Her thoughts began to wander in a direction that would surely earn her a scolding from Selma.

All she wanted was to confirm that he wasn’t angry.

To prove that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

But deep down, she knew it was futile.

‘Or… was that night disappointing for him?’

Now that she thought about it, the drunken chatter she’d overheard often included talk about how someone’s “skills in bed” were this or that, or how something was “memorable”…

Perhaps he was angry because she, who had dared to seduce him, had failed to make it enjoyable.

Yes, that must be it.

She quickly accepted the idea, but the sadness followed just as swiftly. After all, she had spent the night with the man she had fallen for at first sight, only to be despised by him.

For days, her mind had been tangled with thoughts about matters she’d never cared about before. After finishing the laundry that day, she kicked an empty laundry tub and walked into the inn. Suddenly, she felt a chill at the top of her head and looked up…

‘Oh no, he saw me.’

What had he seen? Perhaps the pitiful thoughts she’d been having just moments ago…

Because there he was, Karel, perched on the third-floor balcony railing with the window open, staring down at her intently.

Her heart sank.

The man’s piercing gaze, from that high vantage point, seemed to cut through her disheveled bangs and scrutinize her face relentlessly. Her cheeks burned instantly.

Even as he wore the tunic she had spilled beer on, his eyes didn’t leave her. Just like that night, his gaze held her captive, and she couldn’t move. She felt like a prey animal, frozen before a predator, unable even to think of running.

Her grip on the laundry tub tightened.

“…”

Just as he had done for the past few days, the man furrowed his brow and turned away, retreating into his room.

Bang! The sound of the window slamming shut echoed loudly from above. Though the impact was far away, tears welled up in her eyes for reasons she couldn’t explain.

* * *

The moment to shake off her sorrow came sooner than expected.

That day, as usual, she was scrubbing tables vigorously, avoiding Karel’s gaze. But today, the chatter of the customers around her was unusually lively.

“Did your family get a message from the village chief’s house too?”

“You mean about the feast they’re preparing for the royal knights’ departure?”

“Yeah, they’re gathering all the women for it.”

“They say they’re leaving before the next full moon.”

“The chief’s house even placed a huge order for pigs and chickens.”

“Do you think the lord from the main estate is coming?”

“With that much preparation, at least one of the lord’s sons must be coming.”

“Looks like Selma’s place will quiet down soon.”

The moment she realized they were talking about his unit…

He’s leaving?

Does that mean… I won’t see him again?

Her heart plummeted. Her fingers tingled as they gripped the rag.

Every time she saw Karel’s stern face, she had avoided his gaze, avoided his presence. Only now did she understand that it was because of the ache in her chest. And only now did she realize that the reason she had been able to keep running away was the faint hope that perhaps tomorrow he might look at her differently.

But now, that knight, that noble man who had spent the night with her, was leaving after only ever looking at her with contempt.

The entire evening, she couldn’t think of anything else.

Even as she carried food and drinks, wiped down tables, and cleaned with mechanical precision, her mind was consumed by thoughts of him.

And so, when night finally fell…

When the waxing moon climbed high into the sky, nearing its full phase, and the hour approached the time she had been thrown onto his bed just days ago…

Knock, knock.

Before she knew it, she was knocking on his door.

Knock, knock.

“S-Sir Knight…”

Knock, knock.

“Sir Knight…”

Knock, knock.

“…S-Sir, sob.”

Karel opened the door just as her courage was about to dissolve into tears. From beyond the quietly opened door, he looked down at her with a cold, detached expression. He didn’t even bother to ask what she wanted.

She forced the words out of her trembling lips.

“I-I heard… that you’re leaving soon.”

So, this is it… I might never see you again. I tried to dismiss it as a one-night dream, but now it’s really going to end as just that—a fleeting dream.

The thought brought tears to her eyes, for reasons she couldn’t explain.

“I…”

“…”

“If it’s because I was inexperienced, because I was clumsy, and that made you angry…!”

She finally blurted out her words, then squeezed her eyes shut.

Tears that had gathered spilled over. That seemed to be the last of her courage, as her next words came out as a pathetic mumble.

“I-I’ll do better this time, so… before you leave…”

The moment she lowered her head in shame…

He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. The door slammed shut behind her.

***

When she regained her senses, Karel was lifting the skirt of the woman he had thrown onto the bed, pulling down her undergarments.

‘…Damn it.’

He couldn’t recall another time when he had been this unable to understand himself, as he had been over the past few days. That confusion turned into anger—anger directed at the woman who had brought this unforeseen trial upon him.

The only solace was that he knew his anger was misplaced. Grinding his teeth to suppress his misplaced emotions, Karel barely managed to speak with a semblance of calm.

“What is your name?”  

“W-what?”

There was no turning back now.

Karel had lived his life suppressing and enduring many things. He prided himself on walking a path free of shame.

And yet, for some reason, he couldn’t do the same when it came to this woman.

Every time their eyes met, she would blush beneath her messy bangs. She bore a face that, to his dismay, resembled someone he served with loyalty. She was a powerless woman who had no means to resist him, and yet his attraction to her felt like a vile indulgence.

‘And she’s never done this before?’

Karel recalled the previous encounter when he had assumed she was experienced and had acted accordingly. He had lost control of himself, spilling his seed inside her several times, and he regretted it every moment since.

Now that he had been irreversibly cruel to this pitiable woman, the least he could do was remember her name.

“I asked—what’s your name?”

“Ah…”

For a long moment, the woman didn’t respond.

Of course, she wouldn’t want her name associated with such a degrading situation.

As her small front teeth bit into her trembling lip, Karel’s self-loathing grew. Just as he was about to lose patience, a faint, trembling voice escaped her lips.

“…Please, Sir Knight, give me one.”

“…”

He didn’t know what those words meant, so no proper nouns fell out of his mouth. Instead, he grew irritated, wondering if she was suggesting some bizarre role-play.

“That’s… … hmph.”

As if declaring he wouldn’t entertain further conversation, Karel silenced her with an unkind kiss. He bit her lower lip, pressed her cheeks to force her mouth open, and shoved his tongue inside. Then, as if to confirm what he had taken, he licked her lips.

She had meant to say, ‘I truly don’t have a name. If I must have one, I’d like it to be given by you, Sir Knight—the best thing I’ll ever have.’ But she swallowed those foolish words, enduring his kiss instead. Tears welled up in her eyes as his invasion reached the back of her throat.

Moments later, Karel pulled back, as if to catch his breath. His gaze fell on her lips, now glistening with his saliva. His large hand brushed her forehead, which fit easily in his palm, revealing violet eyes quivering with unshed tears beneath.